


Wrong For Too Long

by DoveZiam



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Harm Attempt, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-05 06:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 56,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11572383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoveZiam/pseuds/DoveZiam
Summary: While a lot of people spent years and years pining for someone they didn’t know, it was very easy for Liam to discover who his soulmate was. The most expected day to everybody he knew, came for him at a very young age. He was fifteen, and it was the first day of classes. He was distracted by his phone and bumped into his crush.Unfortunately.Based on a Tumblr post found here: http://right-next-to-u.tumblr.com/post/155446829857/





	1. In the clouds where the angels sing

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Soulmate AU, where things your soulmate says about you appear on your skin](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/309393) by mayne girl. 



> Thank you, Mayne Girl, for letting me play with your prompt!
> 
> This is for Sabirah, who was so kind to edit my crap, hold my hand and cry with me while I freaked out about this fic. Thank you, babe! I love you!  
> The title of the fic and chapters are from the song Blue, by ZAYN.  
> Oh, you can find me on Tumblr at: doveziam.tumblr.com  
> Aeternum translated the fic to Russian! Thank you! If you guys read in Russian or are interested in any way, here's the link: https://ficbook.net/readfic/5965267

While a lot of people spent years and years pining for someone they didn’t know, it was very easy for Liam to discover who his soulmate was. Unfortunately. The most expected day to everybody he knew, came for him at a very young age. He was fifteen, and it was the first day of classes. He was distracted by his phone and bumped into his crush.

_Zayn Malik._

He was so pretty that Liam felt his face get hot when he thought about him. His skin was dark gold, like soft caramel. His eyes were so beautifully shaped and were a shiny dark shade of brown, with eyelashes so long and thick that they looked like butterfly wings flapping over his eyes when he blinked. Liam spent so much time looking at Zayn that he noticed a little freckle on his left eye, like a beauty mark, and he became even more endeared by Zayn’s charm. His nose was perfect. Simply perfect. It had the perfect size and the perfect shape, and Zayn wore a ring on it, making it more enticing, if that was possible. His cheekbones were high and sharp, like an Adonis. And his mouth. _God._ His mouth. His lips were naturally pouty, and looked so soft that Liam wanted to touch it. Not kiss ― okay, kiss too ― but touch it with his hands or even his own cheek. He wanted to know how it feels to have Zayn’s lips over his skin. Michelangelo would fight for the opportunity to paint Zayn.

“Why don’t you look where you’re going, stupid?” Zayn’s voice rang through the corridor, his brow furrowed in annoyance. His books were scattered on the floor along with Liam’s phone, and Liam dropped to his knees to pick them up quickly.

“I’m so sorry,” Liam said, with his face burning, when he gave them back to Zayn.

Zayn took them from his hands abruptly. “Fuck off,” he said and sidestepped him, going to his locker. Zayn’s friends snickered at Liam and went with him.

Liam blinked repeatedly, shocked by that reaction. A bump was annoying, okay, but he thought it wasn’t _that_ annoying to grant such rudeness. He sighed and went to his locker. That was his first interaction ever with Zayn. _Memorable…_ He thought, sarcastically.

Liam had hoped ― scratch that, not hoped. He had _dreamed_ that Zayn would be his soulmate. It was common to have crushes before meeting one’s soulmate, and, even though Liam crushed hard on him, he suspected that Zayn wouldn’t be his. He was too beautiful, popular and smart; he would never glance at Liam.

Liam was crushing for some good years now, and he thought that _maybe_ he could _someday_ have a chance. Not to be his soulmate, exactly, but to be his friend. Or even date a bit. One could dream, and Liam dreamed a lot.

Well, after that episode, he knew for sure he would never have a chance. If Zayn was interested in dating someone who wasn’t his soulmate, that person wouldn’t be Liam. That thought brought a pain so sharp and unexpected in his chest that he stopped walking and put a hand over his heart.

 _What’s going on?_ He thought when he felt a burning in his hand.

He looked down and saw the word “STUPID” appearing on his hand, letter by letter, in capitals, close to his thumb. A cold shiver went through his body, making him tremble and catch his breath. _Shit._ He looked around, alarmed, remembering where he was, but no one had noticed what was going on with him.

He ran to the restroom and locked himself in a cubicle. He dropped his backpack on the floor and inspected the letters. _It’s impossible. It’s not him._ He knew how it worked with his parents and saw it happening with his sister Nicola. The words that your soulmate said about you should appear on your skin, like tattoos that only went away after the soulmates got together, but it wasn’t like this. At least he thought it wasn’t like this, because one’s soulmate wouldn’t call them names, would they?

Liam was freaking out a little bit, but he didn’t want to get all worked up for something he wasn’t sure about. So, he swallowed his worry and went to class. When he got home after classes he would ask his mother. She would tell him it didn’t work that way and everything would be okay.

Zayn wouldn’t be his soulmate, but it was better than the other possibility, yeah? Yeah.

He and Zayn shared two classes that day, one of them being English, which Zayn excelled in and Liam didn’t. Liam sat at the back of the classroom and kept his head bowed all the time. He didn’t want to bring Zayn’s attention to himself anymore that day. Fortunately, none of his teachers called on him and he didn’t make an ass of himself. He kept his hand hidden under the table the whole time.

 

\--

 

Liam covered the ‘STUPID’ on his hand with a band-aid when he got home. The reason? Shame. Simple and devastating shame. He was hoping that Zayn wouldn’t be his soulmate ― and can you imagine how in less than a day his dream became a nightmare? So, when he got home, he locked himself in the bathroom with the aid kit and found a band-aid the size of his soulmate imprint. And he needed to stop calling it that way, because it wasn’t a soulmate imprint. It was another thing. He didn’t know what it was yet, but… He sighed, putting the kit back in the cabinet.

He went downstairs to find his mother. She was in the kitchen, making dinner.

“Hey, sweetheart. How was school?” she asked, smiling kindly.

“It was okay,” he answered, looking for an apple in the fridge.

“What is that?”’ his mom asked, pointing to the band-aid on his hand.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I bumped today into someone at school,” he answered.

“Is it hurting? How’s the other kid?” she asked, but didn’t fuss too much, probably because it looked like something inconsequential.

“I’m okay. He’s okay too,” Liam answered, sitting on the table and munching the apple. He was trying to breach the subject with his mom, but in a way she didn’t suspect anything. He couldn’t think of an easy way, so, he blurted, “Mom, how was the first time a soulmate imprint appeared on you?”

Karen smiled dreamily. “I was in a job interview at the factory and the word ‘cute’ appeared on my hand,” she answered. “Why, love?”

“I got curious,” Liam said, and it was true. “And you know about Nic’s?”

“Yeah, I know, because I saw it before her.” She laughed a little.

“Oh, yeah, I remember now,” he said, remembering Nicola jumping around the house, happy that her soulmate called her a ‘sweetie’. She didn’t know who he was at the time, but it didn’t take long and she was bringing him home to introduce to the family. “I was asking myself, what shows in your skin is _everything_ your soulmate says about you or just, like, the good things? I mean, if you fought with dad and he said something not nice, would it appear on your skin?”

His mom opened her mouth to answer and then closed. “I hadn’t thought about that,” she said. “It’s a good question, though. But then, one’s soulmate would never say something bad about their mate, would they?” She smiled at Liam.

“I- Yeah, I guess they wouldn’t…” he mumbled.

“They wouldn’t,” Karen said, sounding sure of herself. “Even when we fight, your dad never says anything bad about me. I never heard of a soulmate doing it, so I guess it’s not possible.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Liam said, smiling a little.

He went to his bedroom holding the apple, but he didn’t want to eat it anymore. He dropped it in the trash can and sat in front of his desk, looking at his laptop, thinking. _Maybe I can find something on Internet._

Liam turned his laptop on and searched for soulmate imprints. The results varied from gossip magazines with silly tests to know if you were ready for meeting your soulmate to links of stories of people who went mad because they never met their soulmates. Soon enough, Liam understood that he wouldn’t find what he needed on Google. Not normal Google at least. He went to Scholar Google and searched for academic articles about soulmate imprints. This last search came with more reliable results. He started to click on the articles and read.

When his mom called him for dinner, he said he was studying and she left him alone. It was close to one in the morning when he stopped reading. He rubbed his eyes, the words blinking under his eyelids.

_“There is a few related cases of insulting words appearing on one’s soulmate’s hand. It can be caused by misunderstandings that make one of the subjects develop conflicting thoughts about the other. It might happen as a consequence of preconceived views, as well. In both instances, it can bring a traumatic experience to both soulmates, however, with more severe consequences to the offended part. On this account, those words do not relate to the true feelings of the offending part, they are expressed as a result of their social interactions and beliefs. In those cases, the love and yearning continue to exist even though the subject used insulting words to describe their soulmate.”_

Liam didn’t know how to react to that information. He pushed the laptop away and leaned his head on the desk, taking deep breaths. _Calm yourself down_. He said to himself. _Everything's gonna be alright._

To everything be alright, he needed a plan, though.

He raised his head, getting up from the chair and laying down on his bed. He put his hands over his stomach and looked at the ceiling. _What should I do?_ He tapped his fingers nervously. _First, I have to be sure if he’s my soulmate._ _How do I do that?_ He didn’t know. _I have to make him say something about me. Or… I can say something about him and pay attention tomorrow? But, how can I be sure it was something I said and not another person?_

Liam didn’t know if Zayn had already found his soulmate. He never heard anything about it, and never noticed anything on his hands. Liam never said something about Zayn, either. Liam didn’t have many friends. Okay, he didn’t have _any_ friends, so, he didn’t have anyone to talk about Zayn. Not that he would talk about him, to be honest. He couldn’t risk anyone discovering his crush.

 _Okay, let’s do this._ Liam took a deep breath and released the air slowly. He closed his eyes and imagined Zayn in front of him, smiling that smile that he almost never smiled, the one that made him look like a dork. Liam smiled too, and whispered:

“My Angel.”

As soon as he said it, he fell asleep.

 

\--

 

Liam was on edge the next day. He covered the ‘STUPID’ with another band-aid and went to school decided to check up on Zayn’s hands. When he got there, a commotion around the tree close to the entrance caught his attention. He stopped, but didn’t got too close to it ― wouldn’t be the first time he regretted his curiosity.

Around the tree, people were talking over themselves and he didn’t understand what they were saying. He was giving up on knowing what was happening, when Louis Tomlinson screamed, “SHUT UP!” And everyone obeyed. “Don’t you all have classes? Go take care of your fucking business and leave Zayn alone,” he shooed and the people scattered around, mumbling in an annoyed manner.

 _Shit!_ Liam turned around when he realized it was Zayn and his mates that were surrounded by people. He went to his locker with his head bowed and his heart beating fast. _What was it people were so interested?_ _Maybe it was…_

“I can’t believe Zayn’s soulmate noticed him!” he heard a girl talking to her friends on the other side of the corridor.

“I know, right? He’s so hot! It’s a shame his soulmate is already close. Do you reckon they already know Zayn’s their soulmate?” another girl said.

“After all this, probably! I mean, the entire school knows by now!” a third girl said.

“But maybe this person is from another school?” the second girl sounded hopeful.

“Why are you saying these things? You’re _not_ his soulmate. He won’t date you,” the third girl said, exasperated.

“Who said I wanna date? I just wanna a make out session,” was the answer, and Liam decided he had snooped in enough.

He quickly picked up his books and went to his class. He was the first to get in the classroom, and he sat in his usual place at the back. He noticed his hands were sweating and he cleaned them on his trousers. _Calm the fuck down_ , he thought, taking deep breaths. He didn’t know for sure if it was his word that was imprinted on Zayn’s hand, but what were the odds? He took a deep breath and blowed the air slowly through his mouth to calm himself down.

Some minutes later, his teacher and his classmates filled the class, Zayn among them. Liam noticed he wasn’t hiding his hands, per se, but he wasn’t showing them off either. He sat in his usual place, Ant Riach by his side, and behaved almost the same way he did every day. The only difference was that from time to time he would send a fond look towards his right hand. It was positioned on the table in a way that Liam couldn’t see what was imprinted on it, so he kept stealing looks at Zayn’s direction, trying to see what was imprinted there.

Liam was so distracted with everything, that he didn’t hear when the teacher called him the first time.

“Payne!” her voice sounded louder in the classroom, and Liam looked at her. His classmates snickered and he felt his face burn.

“Sorry, Mrs. Dawson. What was that?” he asked.

“Did you read the chapter I told you to read yesterday?” she asked.

“No, I didn’t,” he said, his voice low, and another bout of snickers filled the room.

His professor sighed tiredly. “Please, start reading it now,” she said and he nodded, opening his book.

He glanced at Zayn’s direction, and it looked like he had just turned his face away, smirking. _Was he looking at me? Probably. I was being the joke. Again._ Ant leaned close to Zayn’s ear and whispered something. Zayn snickered lowly and looked at Liam briefly, catching him staring. Liam turned his eyes to his book and kept his head lowered. He felt his right hand burn and hid it under the table, alarmed. _Shit!_

It wasn’t until the end of the class that Liam had the opportunity to see what was imprinted on Zayn’s hand. Liam got up, collected his material and started to walk to the exit, his right hand secured inside his pocket. That was when Zayn raised his hand to put a lock of his inky hair back in place, and Liam saw it. The word ‘Angel’ was there, written in pretty cursive letters on the back of Zayn's right hand.

 _Shit._ Liam stopped on his tracks, swallowing hard.

“What you staring at, loser?” Percy, a jock that used to bully Liam, said from the side, snapping Liam’s attention to him.

Zayn looked at Percy when he said that, and then turned his face to Liam.

“Nothing,” Liam said, lowering his head and pushing out of the class. Percy tripped him, but, fortunately, he didn’t fall.

Last year, the headteacher had accepted Liam's excuses, when he asked to change the location of his locker. Liam had said it was because he had only one kidney and he needed to have his things closer to the infirmary. The truth was that Percy and his cronies wouldn’t break into a locker by the side of the hesdteacher’s office and risk being caught. It was the end of him finding trash in his locker. So, after leaving the class, Liam went to his locker.

Only when he raised his hand to pick up his books, that he remembered the burning he felt on his hand before, noticing the word ‘DUMB’ on the back his right hand.

“Shit!” he whispered and lowered his hand immediately.

He ran to the restroom, locked himself inside a cubicle and dropped his backpack on the floor. He wanted to cry. _Why is this happening to me? What did I do?_ His eyes filled with tears and he swallowed them down. _I can’t cry here. I can’t think about it here._ He knew that if he thought about it he would cry, and he needed to do damage control ― not cry.

He looked down at his hand and analysed the imprint. The word was in the middle of the back of his hand, it wasn’t close to any of his fingers, so he couldn’t hide it under one of them. _What do I do?_ He needed to hide it, but didn’t have any bandages on him. He could put his hand inside his pocket, but what about when he needed to use it? How would he write in class? _Think, Liam, think! He called you dumb, but you’re not dumb! Think!_ He could say he was sick, but his mom would get worried and he didn't want to worry her. He looked at a heart drawn on the cubicle's door and got an idea.

He sat on the toilet lid and opened his backpack. He picked up his black pen, uncapped it and started to scratch over the word. After he scratched all over it, he noticed that it wasn’t enough. Someone could see the outline of the word if they looked close. He had to drip the ink right from the ink chamber. _Shit._ He used his foot to break the pen in half and fought with the ink chamber to split it up. When he finally split it, some ink splattered on his uniform.

“Fuck!” he mumbled, frustrated. He had the mind to not touch his uniform with his ink covered hand and ruin it even more.

He raised his hand and tapped the ink chamber over the imprint and spread the ink around. It was complicated to open the door of the cubicle without using his inky fingers, but he managed. He discarded the pen and went to the paper towels to dry a little bit, just enough so it wouldn’t drip on the floor. Once he finished, he checked his work, noticing it covered the imprint just right. Then, he washed his fingers carefully to not wash off the ink on the back of his hand. They ended a dark gray, because the ink wouldn’t be washed away completely with the soap available at his school. He looked at his uniform and sighed when he assessed the splatters on his trousers and shirt. _Better like this than people seeing what I have on my hands._

He dried himself up the best he could, testing that the ink didn’t left marks where he touched. _I have to bring a pack of band-aids to school_ , he thought, picking his things up and going to class.

“What happened to you, Liam? Did your pen explode on you?” Lucas, one of Percy’s friends that was in Liam’s History class, asked when Liam entered the classroom.

Some people laughed, but Liam didn’t answer. Zayn was in that class too, and he and his friends laughed with the other classmates, but not as obnoxiously as Percy’s friend. Liam noticed by the corner of his eye when Ant leaned and whispered something in Zayn’s ear. He turned his head and whispered something back. Liam kept his head bowed and sat down on his place, his right hand burning again.

It was only when he got home, while he was scrubbing himself in the shower, that Liam saw the other word on his right hand: 'PATHETIC.'

“Fuck!” He punched the wall, frustrated. “Shit! Fuck damned crap!” He wanted to pull his hair, but stopped himself. _Why he is my soulmate? Why?_ And then, he cried. He sat on the floor of the shower and sobbed, the water washing away his tears.

When his tears stopped running down his cheeks, he got up and finished his shower with cold water. He went to his bedroom and sat down on his bed. He covered his face and took a deep breath. _What do I do?_ The most sensible course of action would be talking to Zayn, that’s for sure. But how would that go down? ‘Hey, Zayn, I’m your soulmate. See, you called me stupid, dumb and pathetic and look, they’re on my hands!’ He could see how well that would go, really.

He went back to Scholar Google to know how the other cases of offensive soulmate imprints had dealt with the situation. Unfortunately, the articles didn’t breach the subject. They only talked about their traumas and the consequences to the bond between both soulmates.

Liam closed his laptop feeling disheartened and deeply sad.

Everybody talked about their soulmates like they were their best friends, someone they could count on in every situation. Why Liam couldn’t have that? He already didn’t have any friends, why he couldn’t have his soulmate liking him? What did he do to the universe to have a life so fucked up?

He didn’t want to talk about that with his mom. She would be so sad… But he didn't have another person to talk about it with. He didn’t know if he could find a solution alone. For one side, he wanted help, but on the other side, he didn’t want to expose Zayn. _My soulmate._ He sighed. _I can’t talk with mom about it. How would she react when me and Zayn get together, knowing he used to say such horrible things about me?_

The only solution was to try and change things, without telling anyone about this situation. He needed Zayn to see him as someone worthy of his affection, someone he would be proud to be with. _But how?_

Fortunately, Zayn’s friends weren’t the ones that bullied Liam. Not directly, at least. Zayn’s friends were the rich kids. Zayn himself wasn’t that rich, but he had the face and the brains to attract the rich ones and be welcomed among them. The main source of his pain in school was Percy and his friends. Liam needed to change that first. _No more name calling. No more kicks. No more punches._ He needed to stop that. And, after that, he would try to be more popular at school. _How?_ He would work on it after dealing with Percy and his cronies.

And he needed a more effective way to hide the soulmate imprints, because he knew that if he kept using band-aids his mom would get worried, and if he used gloves in the summer, he would be bullied even more. He went back to Google to search a solution. He typed ‘how to hide a tattoo’ and got a lot of links of products made for it. _Good!_ Then, he looked at the prices. _Not good._ He would need to use all his savings for it, and he was saving money to buy a microphone so he could record his voice at home. _I guess it’ll have to wait._

He decided to go buy the product the next day and, meanwhile, he watched all the tutorials he could find, so he would be able to apply the product on himself.

The next day, he didn’t have any classes with Zayn, and that was a blessing. He covered his imprints with band-aids again and kept them hidden from his mom by not eating breakfast. After classes, he went to the makeup store and bought the product to hide his imprints. The girl that worked there looked at him funny, but he didn’t mind. He gave her the money, saying goodbye to his microphone, and went home. He bought the waterproof option, more expensive than the other one. So now, besides humiliated and depressed, he was penniless.

When he got home, he tested the products and they were perfect ― which was good, because it was really expensive. He would have to take it to school every day, so he would be able to hide any new word that appeared on him. His dream was Zayn never saying bad things about him anymore, but he wasn’t naive enough to think that it would be this easy. In his experience, when someone started to say bad things about him, they didn’t stop.

And okay, that was really bitter, but Liam was bitter about that situation. He was making plans to change his situation, because he knew that if he didn’t do anything, the situation would get worse. He read about the traumas, about the addictions, about the suicides. He didn’t want that for himself, nor for Zayn.

Thing was, deep down, Liam knew it wasn’t Zayn’s fault. It wasn’t his fault that he was a part of the popular group and Liam was a loser. It wasn’t his fault that Liam was bullied and looked stupid. It wasn’t his fault that Liam was sick as a kid and had spent most of his life looking funny. _But it was his fault every time he said a bad word about me_ , _Liam_  thought. He couldn’t be delusional and think that Zayn was innocent on that. He just couldn’t.

What he could, and would, do was forgive Zayn for his bad words, and wait for the day he would act on his feelings.

Liam laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He pictured Zayn smiling, being gentle with him the way he was with his friends. “Perfect,” he whispered, and went to sleep.

The next day was uneventful and Liam was glad. He applied the tattoo cover and didn’t worry about it all day.

He finally had thought about a way to stop the bullying. When he got home after classes, he talked to his dad about wanting to do boxing classes. He said it was for the physical activity, but Geoff knew the real reason. He was only glad that Liam decided it for himself. It wasn’t news what Liam suffered at school and, even though Geoff would be against violence in any other situation, he always wanted Liam to take action to confront his bullies.

Liam started boxing the next day, three times a week, and he started working out as well. He used to run since he was a kid, because it helped his health condition. So, when the Cross Country team of his school started that year’s try-outs the next week, Liam decided to join. _Being an athlete will help me to be more popular_. To be fairly honest, Liam didn’t think we would get a position in the Cross Country team, but he would be damned if he didn’t give it his best.

He did his best and well, he got it. _What now?_

“We have practice four times a week. Here’s our schedule,” Paul Higgins, the coach, said, pushing a calendar in his hands.

“Thanks, coach,” Liam said, smiling.

“It’s no surprise you got in the team. We made you practice a lot of running,” Percy, who was at the bleachers, said when Liam went to the locker room.

“Stop this right now, Andrews,” the coach said, firmly. “I won’t accept you disrupting my practice. Don’t you have class? Get out of here.”

Percy got up, snickering, and went to his class.

“Thanks, coach,” Liam said, again.

“Just don’t disappoint me, Payne,” he said.

“I won’t.”

 

\--

 

Later on, Liam would blame his excitement for joining the Cross Country team for not checking his hands up after his shower. Thia was, when he was leaving school, with the corridors full of students, Percy held his arm roughly and pulled his hand up. Liam didn’t react quickly enough.

“Oh my fucking god, Liam! Your soulmate called you pathetic?” he hollered at the top of his voice in the middle of the corridor full of his classmates. “And you were trying to hide it with makeup?” he laughed obnoxiously, bending his body and holding his belly with the force of his laughter.

Liam was so completely devastated by shame that his only reaction was to run, his left hand burning and making him want to scream. He ran all the way back home and went to his bedroom, locking himself up. He dropped his backpack on the floor and looked at his hand. There it was, with the product he wore to cover it rubbed off by his shower and Percy’s hand. He wanted to sue the company that made the product, because they said it was waterproof, but then, he looked at the other words and the product was intact over the ‘STUPID’ and the ‘DUMB’, so probably he didn’t applied it correctly with his left hand.

“Shit,” he whispered and sat on his bed, crying. He didn’t know for how long he cried, but, once his sobs were in a low volume, he raised his head to assess his situation. He picked up the makeup remover to clean his hand and saw the last addition to his soulmate imprints: LOSER. On his left hand.

He went back to crying convulsively. _Why me? Why?_

After what happened that day, Liam needed to tell his parents. He couldn’t go back to that school. The situation was bad enough before that, now it would get unbearable.

Liam cleaned his hands completely and went downstairs when he heard his father come home. His instinct was to cover his hands when he entered the kitchen where his mom and dad were, but he stopped himself. He sat on a chair at the table and kept his hands on his thighs, hidden.

“Mom, dad, I need to talk to you.” He tried to keep his voice steady, but it cracked a bit at the end. His parents turned to him, one hundred percent alert after the dejected way he sounded.

“What happened, sweetheart?” his mom asked, seating on a chair by his side. His father sat on his other side and looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“See…” Liam cleared his throat. “I found my soulmate,” he whispered.

“You don’t look happy about it, lad,” Geoff pointed.

Liam took a deep breath and put both his hands on the table, palms down, so they could see why he wasn’t happy.

Karen gasped and covered her mouth in shock.

“Who are they?” Geoff asked, sounding angry. It was clear he wanted to take the matter in his hands.

“They don’t know it’s me,” Liam said, voice low.

“Who are they?” Geoff repeated, harshly.

“I can’t tell,” Liam whispered.

“Of course you can tell. You must tell. We need to speak to them so they will stop doing that!” Geoff said.

Liam heard a sniff by his side and turned to see his mom crying. “That’s why you asked about it the other day?”

“Yeah. Sorry, mom,” he said, bowing his head.

“ _I_ amsorry, baby,” she said, hugging him.

“We need to talk to that person, Liam. We need to do it fast,” his father pressed.

“I won’t tell, dad. Don’t insist,” Liam said, firmly.

“You can’t expect me to do nothing about it, Liam!” Geoff said.

“And you can’t expect me to tell on my _soulmate_!” Liam said, and his father blinked, finally understanding.

“We need to do something, baby,” Karen said, leaning back, but keeping her arms around him. “You have to tell them.”

“I can’t mom. And today something awful happened…” Liam started to talk.

“Besides this?” his father asked, pointing at his hands sadly.

“Yeah, besides this. I tried the Cross Country team and I got a place in it,” he said and his parents kept quiet, because, if it was something awful, it wasn’t about the Cross Country team. “I had applied makeup to cover the imprints,” he sounded ashamed.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Karen mumbled, but Liam kept going.

“I washed off some of the makeup in the shower without noticing. Someone saw it and shouted to the whole school to hear and just. I can’t go back there, dad. Mom, I can’t. How can I look my classmates in the face? I’m already the laughing stock of the class, now it’s gonna be worse than ever. If my own soulmate called me these things, do you think the bullies won’t feel free to be even nastier?”

“Son, the year just started,” Geoff started.

“Exactly! I can change schools without losing much. Please, dad, please. I beg you. I can’t go back there.” He turned to his mom, his eyes brimming with tears. “Mom, please. I just can’t.”

“Baby…”

“I promise I’ll work hard. My grades will be better than ever. I promise. Just, please, take me out of there.” A tear slid down his face and his mom caved, nodding.

“Karen,” Geoff called.

“No, Geoff. Our boy is in pain. I won’t let this keep on happening,” Karen said, with finality, and Liam breathed relieved.

His mom went to his school in the next morning, to do the paperwork. If it was for her, Liam would never go back to that place, but he wanted to talk with Coach Higgins. That’s why he was there. He got there just before the end of the classes and hid in the restroom to avoid run into his classmates. He left the cubicle he was in only after the bell rung and all of the noise of the students going home died down. He looked carefully at both sides before leaving the restroom, stepping out only after he was sure that no one was around.

He went to Coach Higgins' office, close to the school’s gym. Higgins was leaving the office when Liam was arriving there.

“Payne. You missed practice today,” Paul said.

“I’m sorry, sir. I came here to talk about that,” Liam said, head bowed.

Paul looked at him critically for some moments, and opened the door of his office. “Get in there.” Liam entered and stood awkwardly close to the door. “Sit,” Paul said, pointing to a chair in front of his desk and sitting on his.

Liam sat, looked quickly at the coach and turned his eyes down again.

“I dunno if you know what happened yesterday after the try-outs…”

“I do know. Unfortunately, the gossip is stronger than my desire of not knowing about the personal lives of my pupils,” Paul said. He didn’t sound judgmental, though.

“Well, yeah. So. Hm. About that. I’m leaving the school. I mean. I’m going to another one, far away from here,” he said and added quickly, “And I wanna say I’m sorry, sir.”

“Sorry for what, boy?”

“For disappointing you,” Liam mumbled.

“Look at me,” Paul said, firmly, and Liam looked at him. “You’re not disappointing me. You’re taking care of yourself. I can’t judge that.”

Liam smiled a bit, nodding. “Thanks, sir.”

“You’re welcome. Take care.” He smiled back at Liam.

“Okay. Bye.” Liam waved and left the coach’s office.

When he turned a corner, someone grabbed him by his neck in a headlock. “Liam! How are you? Why didn’t you come to school today?” Percy’s annoying voice rang in his ears and Liam twisted his body to get him off.

He had just two weeks at boxing, not enough to be really fit to throw a professional punch, but he was too angry to allow Percy to beat him up again. He held Percy’s forearm and bit him with all his might, making him scream in pain and let go.

“You fucker! I’m gonna end you!” Percy spat and charged on Liam.

Liam jumped to the side to dodge Percy's shoulders and turned back, jumping with his elbow ready on Percy’s back. Percy moaned and stepped back, turning towards Liam and raising his hands to punch him.

The surprise of Liam’s counterattack made Percy slower. Liam took the opportunity and punched his nose with years of frustration piled up in his heart, the last humiliation fresh and bleeding. He heard a crunch and Percy’s wail, hands covering his nose. He kicked Percy’s shin for good measure and ran away. His luck was that Percy was alone. If he wasn’t, Liam would be a pulp right now.

“Goodbye, Percy,” Liam said when he closed his home’s door, smiling. His hand was hurting, but his soul was avenged.

The next day, his boxing instructor scolded him for fighting outside the ring, but didn’t suspended him after Liam tell the reason why he fought. But, even if Liam had been suspended, it would be worth it.

When he got home, his mom showed him a letter of recommendation that coach Higgins made recommending him for the Cross Country team at his next school. He couldn’t be more grateful.

His mom convinced him to go to a counsellor too. He didn’t want to go, but, after reading about the consequences of the other cases of soulmates that dealt with the same situation, he accepted her suggestion.

The next day was a Friday, and his mom would go to the other school to arrange his in-year transfer. They chose a school at the opposite side of the town, just to be safe. He would start in the new school the next Monday and he needed an action plan. He decided he would keep wearing the makeup on his hands. And he would cut his hair. He needed a new start and he would get one.

 

\--

 

“And what about your soulmate, sweetheart? What you're gonna do?” His mom asked him on Sunday night. He was sporting a buzzcut and browsing through his new school website.

“Fate will bring us together, mom,” he said, sounding very mature, but dying inside.

“It will, love, but wouldn’t it be better if you helped fate a bit?” she asked, kindly.

“Not really, mom. Please, don’t push me,” he pleaded and she stopped.

That night, he did some stalking on Zayn’s social media and saved one of his pictures on his phone. It was a pretty one, with Zayn smiling, looking to the camera. Liam went to bed with his phone in hand, looking at Zayn’s picture.

“Beautiful.”

 

\--

 

The next day, he went to his new school. He needed to wake up half an hour before what he was used to and take a bus to get there, but he didn’t complain. After all, he asked for it.

His soulmate imprints were carefully covered by his mother before he left home. He accepted her help, because he knew she wanted to make him feel better, but he knew he needed to learn how to apply it himself. And he would.

The first day at his new school was uneventful ― fortunately. He took the letter of recommendation to the coach, who insisted that he called him coach Paddy and gave him a place in the Cross Country team without try-outs. It looked like he was good friends with coach Higgins.

On Tuesday, his first class was English. He got there first and went to the back of the classroom. When the bell rang, the class filled with his classmates and a boy with dyed hair sat by his side.

“Hey, you’re new here! I’m Niall,” he said, with an Irish accent and a big smile.

“Liam,” he introduced himself too, smiling at the Irish boy. “And yeah, I’m new.”

“Great! I was new last year, I know the feeling. I’ll show you around after class, what you think?” he offered.

“I’d love to,” Liam said, and that was how he met his first best friend.

 

\--

 

Liam kept going to the counsellor. In the end, he noticed it was indeed the best thing to do. She helped him make peace with his feelings. Together they worked through the deep sadness, the insecurities and the bruised self-esteem, turning them into cuts that existed, but didn’t bleed anymore.

He let his hair grow again and stopped straightening it, letting it fall in dark blond curls around his face. He was feeling better ― not good, yet, but he hoped he would get there ― and that was fine.

That day, he was going to take his next step: show his soulmate imprints to his best friend.

Liam cleaned his hands, wore gloves and waited for Niall in his bedroom. He thought so much about how to tell him of his situation. But, in the end, he just said he needed to show Niall something and simply took off his gloves.

Niall stared at his hands for some time, seemingly in a loss of words.

“He doesn’t know I am his soulmate,” Liam felt the need to fill the silence.

“He is the stupid, pathetic, dumb and loser one,” Niall said, with ferocity, still looking at Liam’s hands.

“No, Ni―” he started to say, and Niall looked at his face.

“Stop it. Stop it right there.” He pointed a finger in Liam’s direction. “I understand that he’s your soulmate, but accept that you can love a dumbass. He _is_ a dumbass.”

“C’mon, man,” Liam tried again, only to be interrupted once more.

“Put yourself in my place, Liam. How would you react if my hands were covered in shit?”

Liam sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

_It’s better than pity, I guess._

 

\--

 

Time passed by in the blink of an eye, and soon it was the next year and Liam was getting ready for the Olympics try-outs. He was one of the best at Cross Country in all England, and he couldn’t believe his luck.

“It’s not luck. You worked our ass to the ground to get where you’re at. Stop saying it’s luck,” Niall said, hitting him on the top of the head.

“I agree,” Harry said, munching his apple by their side.

He was part of their small group of friends, which included Andy and Maz as well. Through Niall, Liam had made friends at his new school. He never forgot what used to happen in his previous school, but the boys made him feel accepted, which was a blessing.

He had uncovered his hands to the school two months ago. Before that, he had shown his imprints to each friend, one at a time, with Niall’s help. Even though he could see on their faces that they hated it, none of the boys gave him trouble about it. They helped him deal with the other schoolmates. To be honest, it was way better than he expected. There was no laughing ― at least not in his face. Some of his schoolmates told him they were sorry, some others told him it was his soulmate’s loss, and some of them even asked him out.

Now, the offensive soulmate imprints were old news, none bat an eye at it anymore ― and Liam was glad.

They were at the place where his try-outs would happen the next day, learning the ins and outs to be prepared. Liam had covered his hands with makeup again, not wanting any drama influencing his focus. An interviewer for the local TV came to talk with him, asking for an interview. He was shy, but agreed. She asked a bit about his training, and he told her how it was. Then, she asked how he was feeling and his expectations for the next day.

“I hope for the best, but being here is already a privilege. I’m so happy, my cheeks hurt ‘cause I can’t stop smiling,” he said.

The interviewer thanked him and went away.

“Attaboy! My Payno is famous now!” Niall said, ruffling his hair.

“Fuck off,” Liam said, pushing him away and laughing.

When he got home, he wondered if Zayn would watch his interview. If he did watch it, he would know where Liam was and what he was doing. Liam hoped that Zayn felt glad by where he was now. He got a bit scared, imagining him telling his friends about it, but then, Zayn never bullied him, really. He was just popular while Liam was the opposite. He laughed when everyone was laughing and repeated what everyone was saying.

 _But then, the first time he called me something bad was without any real reason_. Liam thought, remembering the bump and the way Zayn reacted. His counsellor told him that, probably, Zayn was having a bad day and that added up to his mood. Liam thought that it made sense, and decided to not think about that anymore. 

In fact, Liam forgave him. Every night he whispered something about Zayn. Beautiful, perfect, cute, smart, lovely, angel, I love you. The list was long.

His interview aired that night. His father recorded it, proud of what Liam had achieved. The news hadn’t even ended, when Liam felt a burn in his left hand. His heartbeat skyrocketed, recognizing the burning for what it was: Zayn probably watched his interview and said something about him.

He looked to his hand and a cold shiver went through his body. ‘TRY-HARD’. He blinked, feeling like that wasn’t happening to him for real, it was like he was outside his body, watching everything happen in third person. An emptiness swallowed him whole and he couldn't breath.

“Liam?” his mom called and he saw himself looking up at her. “What happened, baby?” she asked, worried and going to his side, wiping his tear streaked face.

He felt a pain so acute in his chest, an ugly and wounded sound escaping his lips in a desperate sob. Only then, he snapped and felt himself in his body again. It was like all the hard work he did with his counsellor was worth nothing. He was trembling, crying convulsively on his mom’s shoulder.

“Baby, please, tell me what happened,” she pleaded and he raised his arm ― that weighed a ton ― to show her. “Oh, lord.”

She hugged him tightly, pressing his face to her bosom, mumbling comforting words. Soon, he felt his dad’s hand in his hair, caressing softly and adding his loving words. When Liam stopped crying, his body was hurting all over, trembling, and he felt limp, like he had been beaten to a pulp.

The next day, he didn’t pass the try-outs.

 

\--

 

Liam was nervous. He hadn’t been back at his old school for two years. After the debacle at his Olympics try-outs, he quit the Cross Country team. Niall convinced him to try for the school rugby team instead. He insisted so much that Liam caved. In the end, he was selected to the rugby team. His team was having a great season playing against the other schools, and now, he was at his old school, getting ready to play against them.

He had thought about covering his imprints, but it would be ridiculous. Everyone in his old school knew about it already, so he decided to leave his imprints alone. He wasn’t ashamed of them anymore, but it was hard to be back and face Percy and his cronies in the field. He was concentrating in the game, trying to not think about Zayn. Even though Zayn used to watch the games, Liam decided he would look only at the side where his schoolmates were. He didn’t truly believe he would keep that decision. He would scan the crowd to find Zayn and see him in the distance, but he doubted Zayn would recognize him. He was wearing the buzzcut again, and hoping it was enough to blend in with his teammates.

He was sat in one of the locker room benches, surrounded by his teammates, when Zayn entered. He felt all his blood drain from his body and a slight tremble started on his hands. Liam bowed his head quickly, trying to hide.

“Hello,” Zayn said, a bit shyly. “I’m Zayn. I work at the school news website. May I ask a few questions?” he added, very politely.

“Liam can talk with you,” Andy, the captain of the team, said. Liam always spoke for the team; he was articulated and knew how to say things without spilling their secrets.

 _Shit!_ Liam thought and swallowed. _I can do this._ He breathed deeply and raised his head, looking at Zayn dead in the eye. Liam saw the moment Zayn recognized him, because he looked quickly at his hands and averted his gaze. Liam got up and came closer to them.

“Sure, Andy. How can I help you?” he said the last part to Zayn, his voice sounding hollow, but polite enough.

Zayn seemed a bit awkward, his head angled a bit up to look at Liam. Yeah, that was new, too. Liam now was taller than Zayn and way bulkier. Zayn looked delicate close to him, and Liam wanted nothing more than to hug him.

“Hm,” Zayn cleared his throat, pulling his phone from his pocket. Liam noticed that his hands were covered by loving words. _His_ loving words. “May I record the interview?”

“Go ahead,” Liam said, putting his hands on his hips.

“Okay.” Zayn fumbled a bit with his phone, and then asked. “What are your expectations for today's game?” he asked and looked at Liam’s hands.

“We expect a good game. Will be tough, both teams had worked hard, so we can’t guess the final score as of now,” he answered, neutrally.

Zayn was staring at Liam's hands, so Liam decided he could stare as his too. It wasn’t as if Liam didn’t know how Zayn’s hands looked like. He stalked his social medias and saw every picture Zayn posted of each new soulmate imprint that showed up on his hands. Liam had them saved on his computer at home. He saved the captions too: “Where are you?”, “How can I miss someone I don’t even know?”, “When will we finally meet?”

“Anything else?” Liam asked, when Zayn kept quiet after his answer.

Zayn snapped his eyes up. “Sorry, uh…” He fumbled a bit more with his phone. “What kind of tactics do you intend to use?”

Liam smiled. “Sorry, I can’t answer that. You didn’t expect me to, did you?” he said, in a flirting tone.

Zayn chuckled. “I had to try, at least.”

“Sure, you did.” Liam winked and Zayn’s eyes turned down to his hands again.

“Is it finished?” Andy asked, curt, putting an arm around Liam’s shoulders. Maz came closer to them, looking at Zayn warily.

“Yeah, it is,” Zayn said, pocketing his phone. “Thank you. Bye.” And he left the locker room.

“He was staring at your hands. I don’t like him,” Andy said.

“Don’t worry, man. Everybody stares,” Liam said, dismissively.

“But he was staring too much. Will everyone here act like this about your imprints?” Andy asked, knowing what Liam had suffered through at this school.

“Maybe, yeah. But don’t worry. Let’s make them think they can put me down because of it,” Liam said, intent on not letting this influence his game. He feared Zayn would say something mean about him in the middle of the game, but decided he wouldn’t worry before anything happened.

“Yeah, let them. They don’t know how fierce you are,” Andy said, punching Liam’s shoulder.

“Yeah, fuck them,” Maz said, and Andy nodded.

“Yeah. They don’t know me anymore,” Liam agreed, getting ready to kick some asses.

When the team went to the field, Liam was ready to be taunted and mocked, and Percy didn’t disappointed him.

“How do you feel when not even your soulmate likes you?” Percy asked in the middle of the field, trying to tackle Liam. Andy came from his left and tackled him, clearing the path for Liam.

Liam heard Andy say “Shut the fuck up, you asshole.”

In the end, Liam’s team won and they cheered loudly. Niall and Harry jumped to the field to celebrate with his friends. They left the team go to the lockers to shower, and Zayn went there too, to make another interview. This time, Andy answered the questions, and Liam was grateful.

While the boys took their showers, coach Paddy left them to talk to the coach that was in the place of coach Higgings. Liam finished his shower quickly and walked with a towel around his waist to pick up his clothes. He put his boxers on under the towel and took it off, dropping it on the bench. He turned around to pick up his shoes and noticed that Zayn was still there, hand raised holding his phone, but staring at Liam. He averted his gaze when Liam caught him and looked at Andy.

Liam sighed and dressed himself quickly, leaving the locker room to find Niall and Harry. He had left the locker room and had walked halfway towards the exit, where Niall and Harry would be waiting for him, when Percy and his cronies surrounded him.

“You must be very happy, Liam,” Percy said.

“About the victory? I am,” Liam said, calmly.

“I didn’t forget what you did the last time I saw you,” he spat.

“Me neither. And I see you still can’t hold your ground alone, you still need your friends to hold who you want to beat up,” Liam said, looking at Lucas and Vincent, who were even bigger than when he studied there.

“Is something happening here?” a man’s voice called, and Percy stepped back.

“Nothing is happening, coach Malik,” Percy said. Liam looked startled at the man who had arrived with his coach Paddy. He was tall and bulky, with dark skin and shiny black hair. Liam could see in his face the resemblance with Zayn and recognized him from some pictures on Zayn’s social media.

“I’m not stupid, boy. I saw you bullying this kid at the game. You’re suspended from the team,” coach Malik said, his voice hard.

“Coach Malik―” Percy and his friends started to protest but when the coach raised his hand, they stopped.

“You know the rules and you were warned. I won’t tolerate such shameful behavior. Go to my office and wait me there,” he said, firmly, and the boys went away mumbling.

The man turned to Liam and introduced himself. “Yaser Malik. How are you, boy?” he said, extending his hand for a handshake.

Liam shook his hand, smiling slightly. “Nice to meet you, sir. I’m fine. You?” he answered, feeling shy when he noticed Yaser looking at his hands. Fortunately, he didn’t ask about it and didn’t stare.

“I’m fine. Were those boys giving you any trouble?” he asked.

“They were. They used to bully me when I studied here,” Liam answered truthfully. He expected him to dismiss what he said, but he frowned instead.

“So they thought they would go back to their old ways,” Yaser said, annoyed.

“Probably.” Liam shrugged.

“Liam here is our best player,” coach Paddy said, squeezing Liam’s shoulder and making him blush. Coach Malik nodded, considering Liam silently, and he bowed his head shyly. “We’ll let you go now. Be careful, yeah?” he said, and Liam nodded, turning to the exit.

When he got outside the school to meet his friends, Niall asked what had happened as soon as he saw Liam’s face.

“My ex-bullies rounded me,” he said and Niall’s face turned dark.

“Where are they? Did they do anything to you?” Niall asked, ready to go hunt them down and beat them up.

“They tried, but were caught before they could do anything. Now they’re in the coach’s office, getting a suspension from the team,” Liam answered, laughing.

“Oh boy, I would like to see that,” Harry said.

“Me too,” Niall agreed, laughing.

His father took him and his friends to dinner in a nice restaurant to celebrate the victory. Liam was happy about the victory, but was sad for himself. He saw Zayn and he was even prettier than in his pictures. His soulmate imprints looked so good on his hands, like tattoos created by an artist. Stalking Zayn made him learn some things about soulmate imprints. It only worked if the words were spoken aloud. He discovered that when Zayn put an “I love you” as caption of a picture of his hand and it never appeared on his hand. A random word wouldn't appear too if the person didn't know their soulmate previously and wasn't refering to them directly.

Liam sighed and decided to stop thinking about it, because his mom was already sending worried looks in his direction.

Later, Liam was at home, laying in bed and watching a movie on his laptop, when he felt his left hand burn. He went static, scared to look at his hand. _What did he say about me now? Surely nothing bad? We almost didn’t talk in that interview._ He thought, looking at the wall behind his laptop screen without seeing anything. _Please, don’t be anything bad. Please…_ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking down.

‘I HATE YOU.’

Liam couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t feel. It was like his last soulmate imprint when he felt like he was floating out of his body seeing everything happening to him, but this time it was worse. He was alone, so alone. His parents had tried to help, his counsellor tried to help, but none of them knew how it was like to feel so deeply rejected by the love of his life. It was a pain that cut deep, down into his bones, and left him desperate.

He tried to call his parents, but he couldn’t, his voice wouldn’t work. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, his stomach hurt, his heart was physically aching. He wanted to scream, to cry, but simply couldn’t.

Then, he was swallowed by darkness.

He felt a hit on his head and opened his eyes. He saw his bedroom lamp in front of him and the blow he felt was his head hitting the hard surface of the floor. He stared at the ceiling, shaking. He never felt worse in his life, and he was sure there wasn't a worse feeling than this. He hit rock bottom and he couldn’t see a way up.

_My soulmate hates me._

 

\--

 

Zayn didn’t like these parties, but Louis had been trying to make him go out for some time now, and he didn’t want to make Louis feel like Zayn didn’t appreciate his company. He owed Louis a lot to make some sacrifices for him. And it would be a sacrifice to stay at a party with shitty music, shitty beer and shitty people.

As soon as he got inside the house where Louis told him to go, he got a joint pushed into one of his hands and a beer in the other. _That’s better._ He thought, sitting on a couch and looking around, recognizing some faces, but none of them caught his interest.

After he graduated and left high school, Ant and Danny went to college in another city, leaving only Louis close to home. Zayn wanted to be close to his family, and the Uni at the next city had a great English program, so he went there. Louis was there too, though he was studying drama, so he wouldn’t be alone. He didn’t even need to live there, he could get a train and be there every day for classes and get back at night.

This party, though, was boring as hell. Louis appeared from somewhere and pulled Zayn down to the basement. The place was foggy with smoke from the blunts and people were drinking beer right from the keg. Zayn sat on another couch, between Louis and Danny, Ant sat on the floor. Their friends were having the time of their lives, but Zayn only wanted to plug in his earphones and listen to some of his music.

Maybe it was the smoke where they were, maybe it was the high. But they only noticed the fire when it was already licking the stairs ― their only way out. Everyone started to panic, but Louis got his phone out, calling the Fire Department.

“They’re already on their way here,” he said, after the call. “Let’s cover our faces.” he pulled his t-shirt and tied it around his head, covering his nose and locking the door to try to block the fire.

“We need to make a way through the smoke to get out!” Zayn said, shouting to be heard over the screams of the people around them and taking his t-shirt off. “Look!” He pointed at the small windows close to the ceiling of the basement.

“No! The air can feed the fire!” Danny shouted.

“The fire will burn all our oxygen!” Zayn shouted back.

They were on that debate when they heard the sound of glass breaking and someone kicking the dregs of the window down.

“Come here, take my hand!” a male voice called from outside the window, and they went over there to help push people out of the basement. Zayn was one of the last to be pulled out from there, and, at this point, his eyes were red and teary because of the smoke.

There was a commotion outside the house, a firetruck was parked in front of it with a lot of people scattered around. Zayn took off his t-shirt from his face while being pushed to go to an ambulance. He was blinking repeatedly to clear his vision, when something fell from the second floor, blowing a thick cloud of ashes on Zayn’s face, making him cough.

He didn’t even notice when he was pushed inside an ambulance to be attended by a paramedic. Once he got a hold of his bearings, he noticed all the movement around the house.

“They got everyone out from there?” Zayn asked the paramedic, his voice rough. She nodded while checking his vitals. “I need to know where my friends are.”

“They must be okay. We didn’t have any fatalities,” she said.

“I need to find them, though, we were together,” he said, worried about his friends.

“Wait a minute, I’ll finish soon.”

“Okay,” he accepted that and waited.

When she finished the first aid, she let him look for Louis, Ant and Danny. Although not before making him promise that he would be back to go to the hospital with the others to check his lungs.

He found Louis not far from there, with his face blackened by ashes. He guessed he himself wasn’t much better. Louis was talking to a fireman, gesticulating wildly.

“Hey, Louis,” Zayn said, coming closer. “You okay?”

Louis turned and pulled him into a hug.

“I’m good. You?” Louis asked.

“I’m good too. Where’s Ant and Danny?” he asked inside the hug.

Louis let him go and answered. “They took them to the hospital, because they inhaled too much smoke,” he said, making a face.

“Shit, man…” Zayn mumbled.

“Yeah. I was talking with Liam here, answering some questions,” Louis said and Zayn tensed when he heard that name. It was an instinctive reaction. A stupid one at that, because not every Liam was Liam Payne. And Liam was quite a common name.

Zayn turned to the fireman and there was Liam Payne in a fireman uniform. He swallowed hard.

“You’re a fireman,” Zayn said, dumbly.

“Obviously,” Louis said, rolling his eyes while Liam only nodded, with his lips pressed in a tight line.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked Zayn, with a professional tone, and he felt shy all of a sudden.

Liam was bigger than the last time he saw him ― and last time he was already big. He wasn’t that much taller than him, but he was bulkier under his uniform. Zayn bit his lower lip, tasting some of the ash that was on his face. He was looking ridiculous, shirtless, all covered in ash and saying stupid things.

“I’m good, yeah,” Zayn finally answered, his eyes going to Liam’s hands instinctively.

They were clean. Zayn’s eyes widened a little, his heartbeat speeding up. He felt an elbow on his ribs and snapped his eyes up to Louis’ face.

“I’m glad,” Liam said, but didn’t look the part. “I’ll leave you two now.” He left without a second word.

“Did you know staring is impolite?” Louis asked, pinching his arm roughly.

“Hey! I wasn’t staring,” Zayn said, feebly.

“You were.”

“You never defended him before,” Zayn bit back. “On the contrary, actually.”

“Yeah, well, he helped save our asses from being roasted. Forgive me for not wanting to be rude,” Louis pointed.

“I wasn’t being rude!”

“You were! You almost asked him if he found his soulmate or if he was hiding his imprints again!” Louis said, exasperated.

“Was not,” Zayn mumbled, but he knew that what Louis said was true.

Louis huffed and put an arm around Zayn’s shoulder. “Let’s go to the hospital to see the boys and check our lungs.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed, looking around, trying to find Liam again.

It was very upsetting to see Liam after so much time. He remembered the last time he saw him at the school game.  Liam was very handsome ― Zayn always thought Liam was handsome, but never said it aloud. His friends didn’t like to mingle with Liam, because he could make them look bad. Zayn didn’t have anything against Liam, but his friends preferred to keep their distance.

Even though they kept their distance, Zayn always had a soft spot for Liam. He had always been so nice and polite to everyone. _And his smile is too cute._ But sometimes he needed to join their friends on the comments, so they wouldn’t think he liked Liam. See, Zayn wasn’t rich nor white nor christian. He was lucky that these boys welcomed him into their group and protected him from the bullies. He couldn’t go against the status quo. If he did anything, he could lose his friends, and he couldn’t handle that. He would be scorned and bullied too, and he had the opportunity to not live with that, so he chose to keep being loyal to his friends.

They weren’t bullies. Not really. They were just a bit silly sometimes. They knew Zayn was quiet, but he needed to add something to their conversations. If they were calling anyone stupid or ridiculous, he would join them. The thing is that he always felt bad when he said something like that about Liam. Probably because Liam had such a beautiful mind and soul, and it was disheartening to say bad things about him. But then he said bad things and just had to deal with the guilt that came after.

He was relieved when Liam left the school. That way he didn’t need to talk about him anymore. His friends didn’t talk about him, because he wasn’t important, so Zayn was free from the guilt for some time. That was until Liam appeared on TV because he had a chance to go to the Olympics. He was so endearing in the interview, but his friends watched and said he was trying too hard to please the interviewer. Ant pushed him, so it was impossible not to say anything.

Then, one year later, Liam was back at his school as a rugby player.

It was impossible not to stare at his hands. Zayn felt so sorry for this boy. He was so nice and cute ― and hot as hell, as he could see when he left the showers. He wanted to hold Liam’s hands and kiss them, tell him he was sorry his soulmate had said those things about him. That day he was sure he had developed a crush on Liam. Even in the back of his mind, he never stopped thinking about him.

That night, Zayn had looked for him on the internet, but hadn’t found any of his social media. He didn’t know if Liam didn’t have any or if he was blocked ― which was possible after he changed schools. Zayn was distracted with the website of Liam’s new school, when his dad entered his bedroom to talk about Liam.

Zayn didn’t even know his dad had met Liam, but, by the looks of it, he had met Liam and had noticed his soulmate imprints. His dad asked if he knew Liam, because his coach had said Liam had studied in Zayn’s school. He answered yes and his dad proceeded to praise Liam like he was the best person on earth.

“That boy, Payne, such a strong soul. He turned a bad thing into his strength,” Yaser said.

Zayn had always tried to make his father proud. His father was a sportsman, he was bulky and strong. Zayn was the opposite. It’s not that Zayn was weak, because he wasn’t. He was just never good in any sport. And he tried. The only thing he was good at was English and Art, which was not what his dad valued most.

He sat there and listened to his dad praise Liam for being a sportsman, for showing his soulmate imprints without shame and his head held high. Zayn could see the pride his dad had for Liam, for that strange boy that could do everything he never could. So, Zayn got jealous.

When his father left his room, Zayn turned back to his search, if only to find faults in Liam so he could tell his father later. The only thing he found, besides the article about his Olympics try-outs, was one made by Liam's school newspaper that had an interview with him about rugby. The article was clearly made by someone unprofessional. At the end, they described him with the phrase “so cute, but with a soulmate so toxic” when they didn’t even ask about it in the interview.

When Zayn couldn’t find any of Liam’s social medias, he got really frustrated and blurted that he hated him. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt really bad and promised himself he would never say a thing about Liam again. He didn’t deserve any of that. Not at all.

And today he discovered Liam was a fireman and was saved by his team. The world is a really strange place.

 

\--

 

Liam didn’t go to the flat he shared with Niall that night. He went straight to his parents’ house and woke his parents up. He had learnt the last time he saw Zayn to not trust his emotional stability when it comes to his soulmate.

“Liam? What happened, baby?” his mom asked, sitting up, bleary eyed. Geoff was getting up too by her side.

“I saw my soulmate today,” Liam said and his parents went one hundred percent alert. “I’m sorry, I just need to be here,” he said, ashamed.

“No, baby, don’t be sorry,” Karen said, getting up and hugging him.

“I was thinking if maybe I could sleep here with you? Just like, to be safe,” he mumbled the last words.

“Of course, son,” Geoff said. He wasn’t bothered by the fact that his grown up son was asking to sleep with them. “You can sleep here between us,” he said, pulling the covers.

“I’m so sorry, mom, dad…” Liam mumbled again, crawling the bed and lying between them. It was a tight squeeze, but he didn’t mind it at all. He needed his parents with him right now.

“Your mom already said to not be sorry, son. We’ll feel better with you here, anyway,” his dad assured him.

“Okay,” Liam whispered and closed his eyes.

He felt the covers being placed over him, but he didn’t know who did it. His parents laid down and turned off the bed lamp.

“Do you want to talk about it, babe?” Karen asked, touching his head softly.

“I saw my soulmate today in a fire,” Liam said, with his eyes closed tight. He heard Karen gasp and he said quickly: “It’s okay, didn't burn anyone, was just a bit of smoke.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, quietly. “Did they say anything to you, baby?”

“Yeah, but just small talk,” Liam answered. “But I wanted to be cautious, so I came here,” he whispered.

“You did right, my love,” his mom said, hugging him tight.

He remember the last time he saw Zayn, what he said after he left his presence. It had hurt so much that Liam passed out in an anxiety crisis. After he woke up, he sat on the floor with no strength to get up or to call for his parents. He didn’t cry, just trembled and felt a deep pain in his heart. He feared he was having a stroke. His parents found him on the floor the next day in a semi catatonic state.

He spent weeks trembling. On the months after it, he got cold shivers every time he remembered about his last soulmate imprint. He was so fucked up that he tried to carve it out of his hand with a shaver. Thank heavens his mom caught him before he did that madness.

So, Liam had good reasons to be worried about what could happen after their meeting that day.

Liam and his parents didn’t sleep that night. When they got up, Liam’s body was aching for spending the night all tensed up on the bed. He guessed his parents weren’t any better. His mom made breakfast for them, all the while glancing at Liam to see if he was okay.

After breakfast, Liam watched a movie with his dad. He only went home at night, because he needed to take a shower and go to work.

 

\--

 

Liam was a fireman, and small burns were common in his line of work; he was used to it. But, after seeing Zayn, he was jittery, looking at his hands from time to time, paying close attention to any burning sensation on them. He got a bit obsessive with the amount of times he removed the makeup off his hands at work and applied it again just to see if the burning was a common burn or a soulmate imprint.

In the second week, he stopped doing that at work, only cleaning his hands at home. It wasn’t sensible to risk an anxiety crisis at work and lose his job ― one he got after proving he was emotionally stable. He owed his job to his counsellor, and he had said so to her as soon as he got a call back from the Fire Department.

On the worst days, Liam locked himself in the bathroom when he was feeling on edge. He plugged the headphones on his phone and used the skin motion app to scan his soundwave tattoo to listen to Zayn saying “You’re beautiful, babe. I love you too.”

Nobody, besides the tattoo artist, knew about the meaning of that tattoo. He told his parents he wanted a creative tattoo of something he loved. They looked at it and concluded it was about music and he let them believe it. The truth was that he discovered soundwave tattoos on the internet; technique in which he could store one minute of audio on his skin and listen to it using an app on his phone. So, he tattooed Zayn saying those phrases.

He got that audio by stealing a video from Ruth’s cellphone. She was close friends with Doniya, Zayn’s sister, and she sent Ruth a video from Eid at their home. It was a cute video with their family reunited, and Zayn was complimenting a small cousin. She said she loved him when he told she was beautiful, and then he answered that he loved her back.

Liam wasn’t proud of stealing his sister’s phone in the middle of the night to save the video. After, he removed the audio and edited it to have only Zayn’s voice. He used to listen to it at night, when he whispered loving words about Zayn ― a habit he kept despite all the sadness. A few months later, he saw the soundwave tattoos and decided he wanted one of those. He wanted a mark of Zayn saying beautiful things on his skin. Even if it wasn’t directed to him.

Fortunately, nothing new appeared on his skin in a span of a month, and Liam started to relax. But he was a little disappointed as well. It was such an incoherent feeling. From one side, it had hurt so much when Zayn said bad things about him. But on the other, at least he was thinking about Liam and having some feelings toward him. Well, Liam thought he said those things because he felt that way, and not without meaning it. _Why would he say something like that if he didn’t feel like that?_ It didn’t make sense.

So, yeah, Liam was disappointed when nothing appeared. It was a sign that Zayn wasn’t thinking about him. But then again, he didn’t know if he could deal with an offensive word appearing on his hand after he was in the team that helped to save Zayn’s life. It was all for the better. He just had to wait for fate to make them meet again.

Liam went back to his routine of go to work, go to college, go back home and hang out with Niall. It was a soothing routine, because he enjoyed all those things. He loved his work and loved his course, because he was studying to get a Fire & Rescue degree. He wanted to enhance his expertise at work ― and get a better pay, of course.

It was a Monday and he was at work. There was a small fire in a department store, and he went there to prevent it from spreading further. He was wearing his gloves, but felt a warmth on his right hand. He tapped the glove to see if it had a tear from where some heat could enter, but he didn’t find any. It didn’t burn and it was a small fire, so he wasn’t worried of being burned. It was just a bit strange. He didn’t find any rips, though, so he shrugged it off.

Later, he was back at the station and felt his left hand get warm too. It didn’t burn, though, so he didn’t think too much about it.

He spent all morning having a warm tingly feeling in his hands. He probably burned them with hot smoke, not real fire. Maybe there was a first degree burn. Nothing to worry about, though. It didn’t hurt at all, it was like he had spread some camphor-menthol balm on his hands. The warmth was even comforting after he feared the acute burn from the soulmate imprints since he saw Zayn six weeks ago.

In the afternoon, his hands stopped feeling warm and Liam forgot about it until it was night and he was in class. The warmth was back on his hands and he frowned a bit. He rubbed at his hands softly, because he didn’t want to take off the makeup. After so many years using them, he learnt that he didn’t need a special tattoo cover to put on his hands. Some good waterproof concealer and foundation were enough to cover his imprints. He only needed to retouch it twice a day.

When he got home, he went to take a shower to wash off the grime of the day. Before that, he picked up a waterproof makeup remover to take the makeup off of his hands. He was standing naked in front of the mirror, and used a cotton swab to start the process of removing the makeup plaster off his hands. He always started from the outside to the inside of the hand. It turned into a mechanical action, he didn’t even focus on the words on his hands anymore. That is, until he saw one new in his hand.

“What is this?” he got nervous, trying to remember if he felt any soulmate imprint burn that day, but he didn’t.

He picked up a clean swab and poured the remover straight over his hand, rubbing the swab fiercely to uncover that thing that was on his hand.

His breath gushed out of his lungs in a rush when he finally had it uncovered:

‘Dream.’

His legs gave out and he held himself up quickly on the sink, dropping to the side on the toilet and staring at his hand. He blinked, thinking it was a hallucination and that word would disappear. It didn’t. It stayed there, in pretty cursive letters, like a neon sign blinding him. Liam was trembling, his breath puffing from his chest in painful, relieved gushes. His heart was beating so fast that he thought he was going to pass out.

“Oh my God…” Liam whispered unsteadily, touching his skin to feel if it was real. “My love…” he said, the tears sliding freely on his face. “Why did it take you so long, my dearest?” He felt like Zayn could hear him, caressing his own skin like it was Zayn’s.

He sniffed, looking at the word ‘Dream’, not wanting to clean the rest of his hands so he wouldn’t see the other imprints, the offensive ones. He sighed, knowing it was silly to not clean it all. He got another swab and put remover on it, returning to his cleaning with trembling hands.

He had cleaned the ‘STUPID’, when he noticed another dark line a bit to its side. His heart, that was still beating fast, picked up speed. _Oh, god, what is it?_ He got so anxious that he picked up a sponge from the cabinet under the sink and drenched it with remover to scrub it all off.

‘Sensible.’

‘Hard worker.’

‘Strong.’

‘Nice.’

His breath was coming in shallow gasps, the trembling was intensified and he was sweating. He changed hands to do the same on his right hand, drenching the sponge with remover again and rubbing with all his might.

‘Handsome.’

‘Cute.’

‘Hot.’

‘Incredible.’

‘Brave.’

Liam was crying convulsively in the bathroom, his body jerking with each sob, his heart hurting with so much feeling.

“Liam!” Niall called him, knocking on the door. “Are you alright, mate?” he sounded worried, but Liam couldn’t answer. The only sounds that left his mouth were ugly sobs, produced by such a deep, and long awaited relief that it hurt all over. “What the fuck is happening? Liam?” Niall tried again, but Liam only could produce a loud whine. “I’m gonna get in! I don’t care if you’re naked!” Niall said and kicked the door open.

In two steps, he was by Liam’s side, kneeling on the floor.

“What happened, Liam? Talk to me,” Niall said, scared because he never saw Liam like this. He knew it was an anxiety crisis, but he didn’t know what triggered it, and he didn’t know how to help.

Liam was clutching the sponge, makeup remover mixed with concealer and foundation dripping down his legs. His breathing was wheezing and he was trembling like a leaf. He couldn’t talk, so he just raised his hands for Niall to see.

Niall felt his heart sink when he noticed Liam raising his hands, his mind going to all the shit Liam’s soulmate had said about him. Then, he looked down and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe the fucker stopped being a cunt!” he hollered, hugging Liam tight.

Liam couldn’t believe it either. He wept on Niall’s shoulder, with no strength to hug him back, but feeling more grounded in his arms. Niall talked with him in his familiar and exuberant way, happy because Liam’s soulmate had figured it out.

“I’m so happy for you, mate,” Niall said, kissing Liam’s cheek after he stopped crying.

Liam could only nod, his vocal chords not working properly yet.

“Want help to take your shower?” he offered and Liam denied. Probably, if it was his mom offering, he would accept, but he wouldn’t impose on Niall. “Okay, I’ll stay here just as a precaution, yeah?”

Liam accepted that. Niall helped him to get up and go into the shower. Liam body was hurting all over, but, this time, it was a good pain.

 

\--

 

That day, in the morning, Zayn went to his classes like every other day, only to discover his professor sent an email canceling the class and he didn’t see it. He still had his afternoon class, so it was better to wait at his Uni city than to go back home and come back later. He sent Louis a message asking where he was and got an answer saying he was at home. Zayn went to see Louis and hang out while he waited for his afternoon class.

They played some Fifa and talked shit, until Louis got hungry and went to get some snacks in the kitchen. He got back with a big pack of chips in his hands, and turned the TV on, looking for something to watch while they ate. He stopped briefly on a channel reporting a fire in a department store, and that got Zayn’s attention.

“Hey, let me see this,” Zayn asked.

The reporters were talking with some people around the store, observing the firemen working from a safe distance.

“Do you think Liam is there?” Louis asked the question Zayn was making internally, and stuffed his mouth with chips.

“Dunno, maybe,” Zayn answered, shrugging slightly. “He looked too serious on that fire,” he commented, remembering Liam’s face. “Like, in a no nonsense way.”

“He’s a fireman in a fire. What did you expect?” Louis said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I mean, he looked more serious than when he studied with us,” Zayn said. He hadn’t stop thinking about Liam since the day of the fire. He wanted to know how Liam was after that so long. He wanted to know if he had found his soulmate. If he was happy. If he was available. Though the last part he wasn’t so sure why he wanted to know.

“You’re comparing a grown ass fireman at work with a school boy, Zainie,” Louis pointed.

“I know, but it’s not like this. I mean. He knew you, us. He was acting like he didn’t know us at all,” Zayn shrugged.

“Maybe it was because we were never friends,” Louis said.

“Yeah,” Zayn said, taking a chip and breaking it into small bits. That was something that always bothered him. They weren’t friends, but he never knew exactly why, he just went with the flow. “Why were we never friends, again?” he asked.

“Just different social groups, I guess. And Liam was boring at the time. If he had all the muscle he has now, we sure would looked at him in a different light,” Louis said, seeming unrepentant.

“Sure you would,” Zayn said, bitterly.

“What? You wanted to be friends with him at school?” Louis asked, bemused.

Zayn thought about how to answer to that, but decided he wasn’t a scared school kid anymore, and answered. “I did, yeah. He’s nice.”

“You never told us that,” Louis pointed.

“Yeah. He's a sensible guy, always was. I thought you guys wouldn’t appreciate his company. I was scared you wouldn’t want to be my friends if I wanted to be his friend,” Zayn admitted. He gave Louis some credit for not denying it. “I regret it sometimes.”

“Not being friends with him?” Louis asked, still bemused.

“Yeah, like,” Zayn tried to explain himself. “He was always so nice? And he was such a hard worker…”

“You were a hard worker too,” Louis still didn’t understand where Zayn was coming from.

“Yeah, I am. But,” Zayn stopped talking and looked at his hands, covered with loving words. “I felt so bad for him when his soulmate imprint appeared and Percy saw it.”

“I felt pity too. Poor lad. He didn’t deserve that,” Louis said.

Zayn remembered the day Percy humiliated Liam. It was very hard not to jump to his defense. Then, Liam disappeared from school and never came back, and Zayn felt disappointed. He know he didn’t have the right to be disappointed, because Liam didn’t owe anything to him, but he felt that way nonetheless. That’s why he was petty and added his opinion about Liam leaving school when his friends talked about it.

He remember the first interaction they had. Zayn had had a very shitty day with everything going wrong. The screen of his cellphone had broken when he dropped it trying to turn off the alarm, he missed the bus and had to run all the way to school, and he had stumbled on a rock and hurt his toe. When Liam slammed into him in the corridor, he spilled the first angry thing that came to mind and stormed off. Only after, when he was calm, he realized how rude he acted.

He was such a shit person.

“He didn’t deserve that,” Zayn said, agreeing with Louis and admonishing himself. “He was cute. I guess,” he said, adding the last part and shrugging. He was trying not to let on how much it had bothered him at the time.

“You think he was cute? Why did I never know that?” Louis was surprised.

“I didn’t feel comfortable saying that,” Zayn answered. “And when he came back to that rugby game he was really hot.”

“What?” Louis almost shouted.

“Yeah, I saw him half-naked in the locker room,” Zayn said, smiling a little with the memory. “He was hot and very handsome, with that buzzcut.”

“I can’t believe you crushed on boring Liam all this time,” Louis said, teasing. “But then, I can see it now. He looked really hot in the fireman uniform."

“Yeah, he did,” Zayn laughed a bit, but sobered quickly. “I admire his will, you know. Like, I look at my hands and I can’t imagine how I would feel if my soulmate called me names. He dealt with it and overcame it. He is really strong.”

“I’ll be honest and agree with you. I would be too fucked up if my soulmate said shit about me. I would never be able to be a fireman,” Louis said.

“You’re not able to be a fireman in any way, Lou,” Zayn teased.

“Fuck you very much!” Louis shouted, throwing chips at his face.

 

\--

 

That night, when Zayn went home after classes, he brought his laptop to his bed and started to browse his social media. His mind was still on the conversation he had with Louis earlier. He wanted to know if Liam had any social media as of now. He had tried to find him from time to time, searching for his name and surname, but hadn’t found anything. Now, he would try his sister's profile first. He went to Ruth’s page and asked her to add him to her friends list.

She was quick to accept him, and he smiled. He went to check if her friends list was unlocked and, fortunately, it was. She had a lot of friends, so he decided to search for Liam on the search bar. He typed in “Liam”, and the search came up with two results. None of them was the Liam he was looking for. He tried her family page, but she only had a cousin. He decided to search for his surname. That search came with thirty-five results, and he started to look through them one by one. Again, none of them was Liam.

Zayn would have to check all her friends to see if he could find Liam’s picture in any profile. Then, he thought that, if Liam had a social media, maybe he had the habit to like his sister’s posts. It was just a hunch, and he wasn’t hoping too much. He started with her pictures. There were too many likes and he sighed. He went back to her friends list, knowing that checking the likes on every post would take more time than checking her friends list.

He started to look at her list of 3,892 friends, disheartened. He was just over 500 friends when he saw a batman logo as a profile picture. The name was J Payno. That caught his interest. He clicked on the profile and some pictures were unblocked. There he was: Liam in a group of friends. Zayn zoomed in on the picture and realized it was from one of his firemen mates. The picture was taken at a pub. Liam was in the back, with a small smile on his full lips. Zayn looked at the people close to him to see if any of them looked like a date, but none of them did. He browsed some more, finding some pictures of him with kids, some babies, some with his family. All of the unblocked pictures were from his friends and family, the pictures posted by Liam on his profile were blocked.

Zayn wanted to send a friend request to get access to Liam's private pictures, but he backed down at the last second. He didn’t know why he stopped, though. It wasn’t like they were enemies, but something held him back. Probably, the fact that they weren’t friends as well.

Now that he had the name J Payno, he searched for it on Google and got a result for Instagram. He clicked on it and it was a private account. Zayn sighed and looked for the people Liam followed that followed him back. He found Andy Samuels. Zayn remembered him from the rugby game. His Instagram was open and Zayn looked to see if he would find any pictures of Liam. He was lucky. There was a lot of Liam’s pictures on Andy’s Instagram.

Zayn’s attention was caught by a series of pictures from a barbecue day. There was a lot of pictures of Liam. Liam with a Batman apron, close to the grill. Liam with friends and family. Liam with puppies ― something that made Zayn smile. Liam shirtless and wet inside a pool. _Wow._ Zayn sat there, looking at Liam’s abs for some time, almost drooling. He remembered when he had a glance of Liam’s body at the rugby game. He had only gotten better, muscle rippling on his abs, chest and arms. _Shit._

From there, he went to Ruth’s Instagram and found some pictures of Liam as a kid. He was really cute and endearing. His mom was tagged in one of the pictures and Zayn clicked on it to see her profile.

He was bombarded by a lot of newspaper cuts on her Instagram. All of them about Liam’s work. Some of them was about Liam himself, with pictures of him in his uniform. Some were about his team and some of their missions. All of them, though, were about how brave he was. _I already realized that._ Zayn thought, feeling strangely proud of Liam.

“Incredible,” Zayn whispered, when he saw a cut with a picture of Liam dangling from a roof with a small girl in his arms. “So brave…” He smiled, admiring Liam’s strength and determination.

He kept scrolling, finding more pictures, but not from Liam’s work. Just random moments at home. Liam sat on a couch with his dad, his arm around the older man, a sweet smile to the camera. Him with his nephew in his arms, the child looking at him with adoring eyes.

There was a blond guy that were in a lot of Liam's family pictures, but Zayn didn’t know who he was. He was curious, because Liam always was by his side in the pictures and Zayn felt a pang of worry in his belly. He didn’t know why he felt that way. Liam wasn’t his, and for all Zayn knew, he could have found his soulmate already.

Even though he knew Liam wasn’t his, Zayn searched for some tag of that blond guy, until he found him: Niall Horan.

On Niall’s Instagram, he found a lot more pictures of Liam ― and some videos too. There was a lot of dork pictures of them using filters, pouting, Dubsmashes… They were clearly very close, but Zayn couldn’t make sure if they were boyfriends.

 _Is he Liam’s soulmate?_ Zayn asked himself, a little angry for the offending soulmate imprints. He remembered seeing them at the rugby game. It wasn’t only one word, there were a lot of words, and Liam showed them so bravely. If Niall was Liam’s soulmate, Zayn imagined he deeply regretted every mean word he said about Liam. He wasn’t any of those things, and that must have hurt a lot.

But then, if they were soulmates, Zayn could only understand Niall changing his ways. Liam was awesome. He had overcome the bullying from his classmates ― and from his soulmate, at that ― and became a great person.

“He’s a dream,” Zayn mumbled, before closing his laptop and going to sleep.

 

\--

Liam spent the next day in a bit of an anxious state. He wanted to show his parents the new imprints, but at the same time, he _didn’t_ want to do that. Every time he showed his soulmate imprints before, he felt like he was exposing Zayn. His counsellor told him that it was necessary. His soulmate would deal with the consequences of his acts when they finally got together, whether Liam wanted to spare him or not. It was tough on Liam, because, while his instincts told him to take care of his soulmate, he needed to take care of himself as well. And his parents worried so much… He didn’t have the heart to hide from them the ― apparent ― change in Zayn’s heart.

Liam went to his parents' house when he left college that day. His imprints were covered by makeup, as usual. He kissed his parents like he did every other day he went there, and then asked for a makeup remover.

“What happened, sweetheart?” Karen asked, catching up with the unusual request, clearly worried.

“Nothing bad, mom, don’t worry,” he said, smiling slightly, but without any real mirth in his eyes.

Liam’s feelings were so mixed. From one side, he was so relieved for Zayn saying those things about him. From the other, he didn’t feel happy, actually. It was like he spent so much time suffering because of it, that he simply couldn’t allow himself to be happy and then get disappointed. When he first saw the new imprints, he had such an emotional outburst, but now he couldn’t feel the happiness he thought he should feel. It felt tainted, like his hands were tainted by Zayn’s harsh words.

And Zayn could have lied too. What if he was talking to someone who liked Liam and he felt obligated to say those things? _Why would he feel obligated to say I’m a dream, though?_ He didn’t have the answer to that, but didn’t want to get his hopes up too high.

Anyway, Liam needed to show his parents. That wasn’t open to discussion, really, even though he wanted to hide it forever. So, when Ruth brought a makeup remover for him, he cleaned his hands in front of them.  

“Oh my god! The asshole stopped being an asshole!” Ruth hollered as soon as the first loving imprint appeared. Karen mumbled a half-hearted ‘Language’ for Ruth’s swearing, but it was without real intent. Ruth hugged Liam tight by the neck, and he smiled.

Liam looked up to see his mom covering her mouth, looking at his hands, crying silently. His dad’s eyes were brimming with tears too, the sappy old man.

“I’m so happy for you, baby,” his mom said, hugging him from the other side, overlapping Ruth’s arms.

“I’m happy too, son. It took them so long, but finally they figured it out,” his dad said, kissing his cheek and caressing his hair.

Liam nodded, looking down at his hands. He was still cleaning them.

“Oh, fuck, they decided to make up for the lost time, yeah?” Ruth giggled, looking at all the complimenting words on Liam’s hands.

“I― I think so,” Liam stuttered, feeling shy.

“I’m so happy for you, mate,” Ruth kissed Liam’s cheek, leaning back to give him room to breathe.

“Thanks, Roo,” Liam said, finishing with the remover.

“Are you happy, baby?” his mom asked, looking emotional and bemused with his reaction.

“I am, yeah,” Liam said, but without much enthusiasm. “I’m still processing everything, you know… It was so sudden,” he amended.

“I understand, baby,” Karen said, and Liam wanted to say _No, you don’t_ , but he didn’t. Liam just nodded.

“Will you tell us who they are?” his dad asked, but didn't really push.

“Not now, dad. I mean… I think we need to solve everything between us first.” Liam tried to put all his conviction into his words.

“Don’t worry about it, son,” Geoff said. “It will be alright soon.”

“It will,” Ruth said, smiling kindly.

“I think you should talk with them, baby,” Karen said. “Your soulmate is ready for you, now.”

 _The question is, am I ready for him?_ Liam thought.

“I’ll talk with my soulmate, mom. Don’t worry,” Liam said, even though he knew it was impossible for her not to worry.

“When will you talk to them?” she pressed. “You shouldn’t wait for too long, baby.”

“I know, mom. Don’t worry,” he said, but he wanted to add _I know, he can change his mind again._

“But now you have to tell me everything about these imprints!” Ruth said, excited. “When they appeared, how was it?” Liam smiled and started to tell them about how it happened all throughout the day and he only saw them at night.

It was too late for dinner, but his mom gave him food anyway and they chatted until he had to go.

He didn’t plan on looking for Zayn. He just couldn’t be the one to reach out. Not right now ― maybe never. Liam went to bed planning to not talk to Zayn anytime soon.

 

\--

 

The next day, Liam kept up his routine of covering his imprints with makeup. That night, he was at college when he felt the same warmth from the other day, but on his right hand. His breath caught in his throat and he excused himself, leaving the classroom.

When he told Ruth about his last soulmate imprints, and spoke about it not hurting, his parents were bemused. They said their imprints never hurt, they only felt warm in a comforting way. Liam never told anybody that when his imprints appeared they burned in a painful way. He just assumed it was the same way for everyone. So, now Liam was sure that the feeling of warmth in his hands the other day was because of the new imprints.

He got into the restroom and pulled a makeup wipe from his pocked, cleaning his right hand quickly. He breathed out a trembling gush of air when he saw what was new: _‘Jaan._ ’

Liam had to hold himself up on the sink again. He knew what that word meant. He learnt about Zayn’s culture throughout the years, understanding his roots and appreciating them. Jaan was something you only said to someone you care deeply about. It was then that Liam’s excitement died. Zayn could be his soulmate, but he couldn’t care for Liam enough to call him Jaan. They didn’t even know each other. At least Liam had his answer now: it was all a lie. But the reason why, he couldn’t tell.

Liam covered everything up again and went back to his class, feeling sad and exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was based on this prompt:  
> "Soulmate AU, where things your soulmate says about you appear on your skin.
> 
> While Zayn’s hands are covered with “beautiful”, “perfect”, “angel” & “i love you”, Liam’s hands are full of “loser”, “pathetic”, “stupid” & “i hate you”.  
> Somehow, Liam forgives Zayn after every harmful word. Somehow, deep in his heart, Zayn knows he doesn’t want to treat this boy with beautiful mind and soul like this. But society, social status, like in every clichéd highschool story, pushes him to it and he doesn’t even realize the boy is his soulmate.  
> And stories like this? They don’t have a happy ending."  
> You can find the source of the prompt here: http://right-next-to-u.tumblr.com/post/155446829857/


	2. I've been doing it wrong for too long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought I would finish the fic in two chapters, but I was wrong. Sorry!!! At least I have a long chapter for you guys today. :)  
> Here's the second chapter. Next Friday I'll post the third, and hopefully, the last one.  
> Thanks, Sabie, for editing! Thanks Mayne Girl for your prompt!  
> Thank you all for reading, for your kind words and kudos! They made my week! x

Liam left his classes that night with a ghost weight on his hand. He had covered all his imprints up with makeup again, but it felt like the word ‘Jaan’ was glaring at him through the layer of foundation and concealer. He was so very tired and upset. He just wanted to get home already. He entered his beat up - but neat - car and drove home silently. He didn’t even put on some music, like he always did. He drove safely, but he wished he could just apparate home, like Harry Potter. He snorted at himself because of that thought.

When he got home, he threw his keys in the bowl close to the door, dropped his backpack on the floor and put his coat on the rack. When he turned towards the living room, he freezed.

Zayn was there.

He was sat on his old couch, with Niall on an armchair by his side, throwing daggers at him with his eyes. Liam felt a cold shiver spread through his body and he swallowed hard. _What is he doing here?_ He thought desperately, looking at Niall for answers.

Zayn got up when he heard Liam coming inside. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Um…” Liam cleared his throat. “Hi,” he said, thickly. He looked at Niall again, but his friend’s face didn’t give him any information besides the fact that he was angry. “Excuse me.” Liam tried to go to his bedroom, pretending he didn’t know Zayn was there to talk to him.

“Liam,” Zayn said and he sounded a bit choked. “Can I talk to you? Please?”

“You want to talk to me?” Liam asked, a bit defensive, but not enough to be impolite. “What about?”

“Hm.” Zayn looked at Niall awkwardly. “It’s private.”

Niall got up from the armchair with a hard set on his brows. Liam got scared of being alone with Zayn, and blurted: “Niall can hear anything you want to say.”

Zayn looked at Niall, his eyes wide.

“I think it’s better if you talk alone, Li,” Niall said. It was clear he didn’t want to leave, but was forcing himself to. “I’ll be in my bedroom if you need me,” he said with a warning tone, and left the living room.

Liam sighed and gestured for Zayn to sit again. He sat down, as suggested, and held his hands between his knees. One of Zayn’s legs was jiggling in a nervous manner and he looked a bit scared too.

Zayn’s nervousness didn’t help calm Liam down, though. He went to the armchair Niall vacated and sat down rigidly. Zayn was looking down, his inky hair covering part of his beautiful face.

“Well, what did you want to talk to me about?” Liam asked, after some moments in a heavy silence. Zayn licked his lips and raised his head. He looked so uncomfortable, that Liam wanted to soothe his nerves, but he didn’t know how to act. He was too surprised and upset to process what was happening with a clear head.

“I…” Zayn said, looking to the side like he couldn’t hold Liam’s gaze. “I want to see your hands, please,” he whispered, straight to the point, and looked at Liam to see if he had heard what he said.

Liam had heard it okay. He just felt all his blood drain from his body and his head was heavy.

“What?” Liam asked, to be sure.

“I want-- I _need_ to see your hands,” Zayn corrected himself, looking at Liam in an earnest way.

“Why?” Liam asked, protecting his hands instinctively between his legs.

Zayn licked his lips again and ran his hand through his hair nervously. “It’s just… Did you find your soulmate yet?”

“Why do you want to know that?” Liam knew he was being difficult, but he couldn’t help but feel defensive.

“I-- Please, Liam, show me your hands,” Zayn pleaded.

“I won’t show you anything if you don’t tell me why,” Liam said, firmly, but starting to tremble inside.

Zayn bowed his head, looking at his own hands, in a defeated manner. He took a deep breath and started to talk, without looking at Liam.

“This afternoon, Ruth called Doniya,” he started to say. Liam frowned, but kept silent. “Doniya was painting her nails and turned on the speakerphone. Her bedroom is in front of mine, and the door was open. I didn’t mean to snoop in on their conversation, but then I heard your sister talking about you.” Zayn stopped talking to swallow, still not looking at Liam. “She said you had just got new soulmate imprints…”

“I can’t believe Ruth was talking about this with everybody!” Liam said, feeling betrayed.

“She wasn’t talking with everyone, it was just Doniya,” Zayn said, quickly. “And as soon as she realized what the conversation was about, she turned off the speakerphone and closed the door.”

“It doesn’t make it any better. She was talking about my private life with someone that I hardly know,” Liam said. He was trying to stall what Zayn was trying to say, and he knew that.

“Doniya wouldn’t tell anyone,” Zayn was quick to defend his sister.

“It’s not about her saying anything, it’s about the principle of the act, Zayn,” Liam said, curtly. “I’ll talk to Ruth about this,” he mumbled, upset.

“Sorry,” Zayn mumbled. “Doniya doesn’t know I heard it, though.”

“Doesn’t make it much better, to be honest,” Liam said, disheartened.

“I guess it doesn’t,” Zayn conceded that. “Hm. So. I heard her talking which was one of the new imprints before Doniya turned it off, though.”

“I see.” Liam was cold all over. He knew what would happen next. Zayn would confront him to see his hands and he would have to show them.

“Yeah. So. That’s why I want to see them,” Zayn said.

“‘Cause there’s something new and you want to see?” Liam asked, bitterly. He knew it wasn’t that, but he was feeling petty.

“No!” Zayn said, sounding offended, but Liam didn’t let him continue.

“You could only ask about them. I don’t need to show them, do I?” Liam said.

“Liam…” Zayn breathed the name, sounding desperate. “Liam, please. I _need_ to see them.”

“What you want to know exactly, Zayn?” Liam said, instead of showing his hands. “You understand that what you’re asking for is private, don’t you?”

Zayn ran his hands through his hair again, frustrated. Liam was looking at a vague point on his cheek, trying not to focus too much on his face.

“Liam, you know what I’m asking you,” he whispered. “You're going to make me say it all, aren’t you?”

Liam sighed, curling his body a bit more over his hands between his legs, in a protective way.

“No, I won’t, Zayn. You want to know if you’re my soulmate,” Liam said, looking at his own hands. “Do you think you are?” He made the mistake to look at Zayn’s eyes and saw they were brimming with unshed tears.

“Please, don’t be mean to me,” Zayn whispered.

“Don’t worry, Zayn. You’re not my soulmate,” Liam said, his face straight, and got up, feeling his heart tear from the inside.

“You’re lying!” Zayn blurted, getting up as well. “You’re lying! Why are you lying to me?” He was trembling and Liam wanted to hug him so much, but he held himself back.

“Now you call me a liar?” Liam shot back, fisting his hands.

“No!” Zayn almost shouted, a look of terror crossing his face. “No, no, no… I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry, Liam. Forgive me, please,” Zayn said, taking a step towards Liam, with a hand raised.

Liam stepped back so quickly, he bumped on the armchair and fell backwards, sitting on it again.

“I’m so sorry, Liam,” Zayn said again, the tears spilling from his eyes. “You are _not_ a liar. You’re not a liar. I’m so sorry for everything, please.”

Liam was so surprised by Zayn’s outburst he was speechless. His hands were knitted together close to his body in a protective way. Zayn knelt down in front of him and raised his hands, like he was going to touch Liam’s knees, but stopped himself.

“I’m so sorry, Liam. So, so incredibly sorry. Please...” Zayn croaked, biting his lips roughly, his trembling hands still raised close to Liam, but not touching.

Liam was trembling as well, his heart in his throat. “What are you sorry for?” he whispered, looking at Zayn’s hands. He couldn’t look at his tear-streaked face.

“For being a stupid asshole, for letting the social status rule what I should do and say, for making you suffer...” he sobbed suddenly, cutting himself off to wipe at his eyes. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“You’re not my soulmate, Zayn,” Liam whispered, again.

“Stop fucking lying to me!” Zayn shouted, covering his face, frustrated. “You are not a liar, why are you trying to lie to me?”

“You don’t know me, Zayn,” Liam said, his voice empty.

“I know you! I do!” Zayn got up from the floor, pulling his hair in frustration.

“How can you know me? We were never friends, you never talked to me,” Liam said, fiercely.

“I know you here!” Zayn punched his chest, over his heart. “I know you in my soul! You _are_ my soulmate!”

Liam felt another shiver take his body and bowed his head.

“How can you know that, Zayn?” he asked, sounding sad.

“I understand that you don’t trust me. I wouldn’t either, but please, Liam…” Zayn pleaded.

“If you’re so sure, you wouldn’t need to see my imprints,” Liam said, still holding onto his bitterness. He didn’t plan to make it easy on Zayn.

“I won’t ask to see your imprints anymore, then,” Zayn said.

“What will you ask for, then?” Liam knew there was a catch, he was averting Zayn’s gaze at all costs.

“I’m asking you to look at me. Let me try to make up for all the shit I did and said about you. Let me do everything in my power to deserve your love. Let me be near you, love you. Please, Liam,” Zayn said, softly, but with his voice choked up by his tears.

Liam had dreamed for this to happen ever since the first imprint appeared on his hand, but now he just couldn’t. He wasn’t expecting Zayn to confront him that way; he didn’t know how to react. His instincts were telling him to run. But he didn’t know if it was to run to or from Zayn.

“Zayn…” Liam sighed, tiredly. “You might be wrong.”

“Prove me wrong, then,” Zayn challenged him. Liam just bowed his head. “You can’t prove me wrong, because I’m right.” Liam kept silent and Zayn knelt again, close to him, but not too close. “Look at me, Liam, please.” Liam didn’t look up, just squeezed his hands together. Zayn sighed, sadly. “Will you show me your hands, then?”

Liam shook his head. “You don’t need to see them. I don’t have to prove you anything.”

Zayn sat on his haunches, wiping the tears that were still on his face.

“I can’t make you show me,” Zayn said, sadly.

“Yeah, you can’t,” Liam said, fiercely, looking up.

Zayn had his pretty eyes wide open and looking so sad. Liam felt a tug on his heart.

“I’m so ashamed, though,” Zayn whispered, and Liam watched another tear slide down his cheek. His lips trembled and he pressed them together. “I never thought I could do something so awful to someone so beautiful.” Zayn’s face contorted and he covered it with his hands. “I’m so sorry, Liam.” He sobbed into his palms.

Liam felt a warmth spread on his left hand and he closed his eyes, feeling his own tears wetting his face.

“It’s all my fault,” Zayn whispered, uncovering his face and sniffing.

Liam swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. He looked at Zayn, sat on the floor, still crying. He got up and picked up some tissues. He got some for himself and pushed the pack in Zayn’s direction.

“Here,” Liam said, offering the tissues.

Zayn took some, but didn’t clean himself up. He was looking at the floor, tears sliding down his face and wetting his t-shirt.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Zayn asked, not looking at Liam.

Liam sighed and sat again. He decided to answer truthfully:  “Because I was ashamed,” he said. Zayn flinched like he was hit.

“Fuck…” Zayn whispered. “I’m so sorry,” he said again. It looked like he wouldn’t stop saying that.

“I’m sorry too,” Liam said, sadly.

“You should have told me, though.” Zayn sniffed.

“I guess I should've, but I didn’t want to impose myself on you,” Liam said. It was the truth.

“It wouldn’t be imposing, Liam. You’re my soulmate!” Zayn said, looking at Liam. His eyes were puffy and red, his nose was red too and his lips were bitten raw.

“I couldn’t,” Liam wanted to explain his shame, his insecurities, but, at the same time, he thought he didn’t owe Zayn anything.

“Why?” Zayn asked, and he looked so earnest, that Liam caved.

“First, because you wouldn’t believe me,” Liam started to say.

“I would!” Zayn argued.

“You wouldn’t,” Liam pressed. “And if you did, you would ignore me.”

“I wouldn’t, damn it!”

“Do you know what the first soulmate imprint I got was, Zayn?” Liam asked, bitingly. “It was the word ‘stupid’, in capitals, that you called me because I _bumped into you._ In my place, what would you think?” He got up, angry, and went to the bathroom to pick up the makeup remover and a sponge. He came back and spilled remover on the sponge, rubbing it roughly on his right hand. Some of the remover dripped onto the floor, but Liam didn’t care. “Look.” He showed his right hand to Zayn, pointing to the word ‘STUPID’. “See this?” Zayn was static, looking at Liam’s hand. “See this, too?” He showed the word ‘Dumb’.  “And this.” He showed the word ‘Pathetic’. “In less than three days I got these. What did you expect me to do? What would _you_ do?” Zayn was speechless. Liam put more remover on the sponge and rubbed his left hand, his tears burning down his face. “And this,” he pointed at the ‘Loser’, his voice cracking, “was what you called me after I was humiliated in front of the whole school when Percy found out. Would you tell, Zayn, if you were in my place? Would you?”

Liam was looking at his hands, still trembling, trying to breathe through his clogged nostrils. And there was the newest addition too, on his left hand: ‘Beautiful.’

Zayn was trembling like a leaf on the floor too, looking at Liam’s hands. He remembered the imprints he had saw the last time, at the rugby game. He noticed the newer and nicer ones too, but his mind was so set on the pain that he ignored them, focusing only on the bad ones. When he saw the ‘I hate you’, his heart broke.

“Oh my god,” Zayn wailed, curling in on himself to hide his face on the floor, sobs rocking his body. _What did I do? Oh my god._

Liam regretted what he did as soon as he finished doing it. He looked at Zayn, on the floor, and his heart called for his instincts to protect him. He knelt on the floor too, tossing the remover and the sponge to the side. He raised his hand, debating with himself if he should touch Zayn. He was sobbing convulsively on the floor and all the pettiness Liam felt earlier dissolved in regret for making him suffer that way. Hadn’t he already suffered enough? Why make Zayn suffer too? It wasn’t healthy and he didn’t want that for them.

Liam lowered his hand very slowly, inch by slow inch, until he was almost touching Zayn’s trembling shoulder. He breathed deeply and let his hand touch him. Zayn jumped a bit, surprised by the touch. Liam felt a shiver went through Zayn, and all the hair on his own body stood on end, starting from the contact point and spreading to his arm, neck, face and body.

One of Zayn’s hand covered Liam’s, squeezing his fingers tightly. He was still crying, but his sobs had died down a bit, only the occasional shiver racking his body from time to time.

Liam sat on his haunches and put his other hand on Zayn’s hair, this time without hesitation. He felt Zayn’s body relax some with the touch. His hair was really soft, the locks sliding between Liam’s fingers in a comforting way. Liam sighed and sat on the floor, leaning his back against the armchair. Liam pulled Zayn’s head onto his lap and the other lad went with it without protest. One of Zayn’s arms went around Liam’s back and the other went over his legs, clinging onto him in a strange kind of comforting hug.

Liam leaned his head back on the armchair and breathed out. Since his first soulmate imprint, it was the first puff of air that didn’t felt like he was being crushed from the inside out.

One of Liam’s hands was on Zayn’s hair, petting him softly, and the other was on Zayn’s back, rubbing gentle circles. Zayn sniffed from once in a while and tightened his grip on Liam.

It took a while for Zayn to stop crying. When he calmed down, Liam’s trousers were wet from his tears. Liam’s t-shirt was wet too, from his own tears that streaked slowly down his face while he looked at the ceiling, basking in Zayn’s company for the first time ever.

Liam felt Zayn get quiet and he looked down. His eyes were closed and he was breathing softly through his mouth. His eyelashes were wet and clumped together, his eyelids were puffy and red from the crying, and his nose was red as well.

“Are you sleeping?” Liam whispered.

“No,” Zayn whispered back, not sounding sleepy. He licked his lips and opened his eyes, looking at Liam’s feet. “Do you think--” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?” he asked, squeezing Liam between his arms instinctively.

Liam’s hand stopped moving and he closed his eyes. “I’ve already forgiven you,” he said.

“No, you didn’t,” Zayn said, not in an accusatory tone, but his body tensed. “But I get you. I just… I’m just asking for a chance.”

“Look at your hands, Zayn,” Liam said. “Do you really think I would do that if I hadn’t forgiven you?”

“What I did to you was unforgivable,” was Zayn’s answer.

“Get up, please,” Liam said.

“No, I’ll shut up. Just. Don’t push me away, please,” Zayn turned his face to Liam’s thigh, hiding it.

“I won’t push you away,” Liam said. “I just want to have a conversation with you.”

“Can’t we have a conversation where we are?” Zayn mumbled, not giving a fuck if he sounded like a child.

“I want to look at your face while doing it,” Liam said. “I won’t push you away, don’t worry.”

“You were doing just that not five minutes ago,” Zayn said.

“It was way more than five minutes,” Liam argued, but not really upset.

“Details,” Zayn bantered back.

Liam chuckled and Zayn smiled at that, happy for making Liam laugh even if it was just for a moment.

“No, get up, let’s talk,” Liam said, pushing Zayn up gently.

Zayn got up and sat by Liam’s side, with his ankles crossed. He looked at Liam’s face, who had red-rimmed eyes. Liam changed his position to be in front of Zayn, looking at his face too.

“Niall knows about me,” Zayn said. Liam nodded. “Who knows besides him?”

“Only he knows,” Liam answered.

“Only he knows it’s me?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah. I didn’t tell anyone. He discovered it was you on his own,” Liam said, a bit shy.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I didn’t want to. It wouldn’t bring anything good saying it was you,” Liam answered.

“You didn’t even tell your family?”

“Especially them.” Liam looked away.

“But--?” Zayn didn’t understand.

“They would want to confront you and I didn’t want that.” Liam said.

“Maybe it would be better…” Zayn looked down. “That way I wouldn’t have said a lot of those things.”

“I was a boy. I was trying to protecting myself, and _you_ , the best way I could,” Liam said, defensively.

“Yeah, I know.” Zayn nodded, sadly. “But I still think you should have told me.”

“But I didn’t, and it’s done,” Liam said, curtly. He didn’t want to justify himself to Zayn. He didn’t have to. “Look, Zayn, let’s not discuss the past, yeah? I don’t like to talk about it.”

“But we need to,” Zayn said, sensing Liam closing on himself. “We need to talk to work it out. You were the one who wanted to talk.” He was frustrated.

“Don’t talk to me in that tone,” Liam said sharply. “I don’t owe you anything, so stop it right there.”

Zayn flinched like he was slapped. “I know you don’t owe me anything. It’s just… You’re being so difficult,” he said, sadly. “But I understand why,” he added, quickly.

Liam pressed his lips together, rubbing his forehead tiredly. He was feeling so conflicted.

“I was wrong, we can’t talk right now. I’m not okay and I’m being unfair to you,” Liam confessed.

“You’re pushing me away,” Zayn mumbled, sounding defeated.

“I’m not,” Liam said, firmly. “I’m trying to be mature. We’re not in the best frame of mind to talk right now.”

“When can we talk, then?” Zayn pressed.

“I don’t know, Zayn. I need some time to think,” Liam said, trying to reassure Zayn and himself.

“I still think we should talk. Work it out together. We’re soulmates, we need to talk,” Zayn argued.

Liam knew Zayn was being reasonable, but he wasn’t in the shape to have a conversation.

“I don’t wanna fight with you, Zayn, and that’s what will happen if we keep pushing it,” Liam said.

“Okay. But… Let me--” Zayn cut himself, licking his lips. He was going to ask Liam to stay close to him, to cuddle him. He had felt so good on Liam’s lap, holding him. Even when he was crying, he felt like he was in the place he should be. But he cut himself off, because Liam was defensive. He didn’t want to impose ― he didn’t have the right.

“Let you what?” Liam asked, curious.

“Hm. Gimme your phone number, at least?” Zayn said, instead of what he was thinking.

“Sure.” Liam nodded. “Gimme your phone.”

Zayn unlocked and handed him the phone. Liam put his number in quickly and gave it back. Zayn looked at it, nodding.

“Thanks,” he said, locking it and putting in his pocket.

“Here, gimme yours too,” Liam said, handing him his phone.

“‘Kay.” Zayn smiled a bit, while he put his number on Liam’s phone. He thought Liam wouldn’t ask him for it, and was happy for being wrong.

“‘Kay,” Liam said, leaving his phone on the armchair.

Zayn looked at him, his eyes wide and so expressive. He wanted to hug him tight, to sit on his lap and hide his face on his neck. How could he spend so much time without realizing Liam was his soulmate? How could he not notice something that was so glaringly obvious? All the times he felt bad for saying bad things about Liam. The feeling was stronger than simple guilt, it was an acute discomfort that he learnt to ignore. And because of that he made his soulmate suffer all these years.

Liam saw Zayn’s eye refilling with tears and got up abruptly. “I have to take a shower and go to bed. I have work and classes tomorrow,” he said.

Zayn blinked, looking Liam up and down, clearly checking him out from the floor, where he was. It was impossible not to imagine Liam in the shower after he said that, and he swallowed hard, looking away. Liam noticed the way Zayn looked at him and he felt shy all of a sudden.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Zayn said, getting up from the floor. He stood in front of Liam, looking at him expectantly.

“Hm. Yeah,” Liam said, going to the door to open it for Zayn.

Zayn checked Liam out from the back too, shaking his head slightly at himself for being a pervert in such a serious situation. He walked to the door and stopped in front of Liam. He licked his lips, glancing to the corridor outside the flat’s door, looking shy. He didn’t know if he could hug Liam, or if he should just say his goodbye. Liam was holding the door with one hand, waiting for Zayn to leave.

 _Fuck it. He’s my soulmate._ Zayn thought, and stepped close to Liam. Liam’s breath caught, but he didn’t stop, and hugged him tight. He sighed when he felt Liam’s strong arms surrounding him and pressing them together tightly. Zayn tucked his face into Liam’s neck, breathing in his scent deeply. He had to hold himself back from kissing him - or worse, like licking him -, and he trembled slightly. Liam rubbed his back softly, his eyes closed and his nose pressed to Zayn’s shoulder, breathing him in, too.

They stood there, clinging to each other for an inordinate amount of time. They only separated when they heard someone coming up the stairs. Liam put his hands in his pockets quickly. Zayn noticed that, looking down sadly, before Liam’s neighbour stepped into the corridor and smiled at them.

“Hi, Liam!” she said, brightly.

“Hi, Sophia,” Liam answered, smiling slightly.

“And hi yourself,” she said, looking at Zayn flirtily.

“Hi,” Zayn said, with a forced, uncomfortable smile.

“I’m Sophia, Liam’s neighbour. Nice to meet you,” she came close to them, with a big smile.

“He’s Zayn,” Liam started saying.

“Liam’s soulmate,” Zayn completed for him, not knowing nor caring what Liam would have added after his name.

“Oh, really?” Sophia said, sounding surprised. “Wow. That’s great!” She didn’t look too happy, though.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too,” Zayn said, his smile still forced. He glanced at Liam and noticed that his brows were furrowed while looking at him. “Night, Liam,” he said, stepping close to Liam again and kissing his cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered close to his ear and leaned back. He nodded at Sophia and left.

Liam shook his head, a bit annoyed by Zayn’s kiss, but feeling a strange sense of belonging as well.

“So…” Sophia said, smirking. “Your soulmate, huh? I saw his hands…” She looked at his hands that were still firmly inside his pockets.

Liam smiled tightly. “Yeah. Nice seeing you, Sophia, but I gotta go, now. Good night!” He closed the door quickly.

When he turned to the living room, Niall was there, enveloping him in a hug. “Hey, mate. How are you feeling?”

“I dunno, really,” Liam said, squeezing Niall tightly. “He told Sophia he’s my soulmate, though.”

“What? Why?” Niall asked, leaning back with a puzzled face.

“Dunno. Sophia was getting ready to hit on him. I think he got nervous,” Liam shrugged.

“Oh, I would get nervous too.” Niall laughed.

“Well, yeah. I’m gonna take a shower,” Liam said, turning to the bathroom.

Niall stopped him. “Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

Liam thought about it a bit and shook his head. “I think I’m fine to sleep alone,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Niall asked and he nodded.

“Thanks, though,” Liam smiled slightly.

“If you change your mind, you can go to my bed in the middle of the night,” Niall said, letting Liam go.

“‘Kay.”

Before he went to the bathroom, the door opened and Harry entered the flat, using the emergency key the boys gave him once.

“I think I just saw the hottest man in the world walk out from the building,” was Harry’s greeting.

“That’s Liam’s soulmate,” Niall said.

Harry stopped in his tracks, looking at Liam.

“Shit, it’s true,” he concluded by looking at Liam’s face. He went towards Liam and hugged him. Liam accepted the hug, sighing. When Harry leaned back, he looked Liam in the eye. “Did you guys talk?”

“A bit, yeah… But I was in no condition to do that now. I asked him for some time to process everything,” Liam answered.

“He knelt on the ground asking for his forgiveness,” Niall said and Liam turned back to him, annoyed.

“If you were going to snoop in, you could have stayed,” he grumbled.

“I left for him to feel more comfortable to talk to you, but I wouldn’t left you all alone. If he did any shit I would jump his neck,” Niall said, fiercely.

Liam shook his head. “I’m going to take my shower now,” he said, going straight to the bathroom, leaving Niall and Harry whispering in the living room.

Liam locked himself in the bathroom and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t know how he would process everything that happened that day. His body and mind were numb, the defensiveness running strong through his system now that Zayn wasn’t touching him.

He spent too much time just looking at himself, until he spanned off his stupor and took off his clothes. He put the shower the hottest he could take. He stepped under the water and closed his eyes tightly.

Everything had spiralled out of control so quickly… After he talked to his parents, he wasn’t planning to talk to Zayn anytime soon, things could have happened in a smoother way. He would take his time to calm down, to process everything. Then he would observe Zayn for some time, to see if he would change his mind. And only then would he contact him. Not as his soulmate, he would plan to just casually meeting him. Maybe use Ruth’s friendship with Doniya to create a way to be in the same place as Zayn. He could chat with him and try to be his friend. The last thing on the list would be telling Zayn the truth.

But then ‘ _Jaan_ ’ happened and everything went to hell - no, it was already in hell.

Liam stood there, motionless under the spray of the too hot water, when he felt a glowing warmth on his left hand. How could he feel that warmth over the scalding water, he didn’t know. He pressed his eyes together more tightly, starting to tremble with the expectation of what Zayn had said just now.

Deciding he wouldn’t gain a thing postponing it, he opened his eyes and looked at his hand:

‘I love you.’

And then, he crumbled.

He cried so much his legs went weak, making him support himself with his back on the wall. He kept crying even when the water had gone cold, shivering and sobbing. When the sobs stopped rocking his body, he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. He went to his bedroom feeling exhausted, and sank on his bed. He was feeling relieved after crying, his mind more quiet.

Liam looked at his hand, where the new imprint was. He smiled, happily, and whispered almost falling asleep: “I love you too.”

 

\--

 

When Zayn left Liam’s flat, his feelings were all over the place. He was insecure about how they would work everything out between them, but he was sure they would get there. He was still walking to his bus stop, when he pulled out his phone to send a message to Liam.

“sorry for telling your neighbour about us. i guess you didn’t want me to tell yet?” Zayn sent it and pocketed his phone.

The bus stop was empty, and he sat down to wait. Liam hadn’t answered his message, but he understood. He was probably processing everything. He got a bit worried if his message bothered Liam and he bit his lip. He decided to get his phone out again.

“if u dont want me sending messages pls tell me,” he pressed the send button and waited for a bit.

“did u kno u gave me the best hug of my life?” Zayn couldn’t help himself sending another message.

“and u smell so good”

“i mean not in a perv way but like comforting u know” _But in a perv way too._ Zayn thought, after sending the message.

“im gonna stop bothering you babe”

“goodnight”

He pocketed his phone back and soon his bus arrived. When he got home, he went to his bedroom and asked to follow or add Liam in all his social medias.

“stalked u a bit. hope u dont mind” he sent to Liam’s phone after he turned his laptop off and went to bed.

“will u add me?”

After that, Zayn locked his phone and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. _I’ll make this work._ He promised himself. He rolled onto his stomach, and looked at his hand. He remembered Liam’s hands, so big, strong and beautiful, tainted by his stupidity. He decided he would use the time he and Liam would be working everything up to fill his hands with good things. Maybe it could hide the ugly words in the midst of the beautiful ones.

“I love you,” he said, without much thought and closed his eyes.

Zayn didn’t sleep quickly, though; his mind was too agitated for that. He stood there, with his eyes closed and his mind wandering through all the possible scenarios of his relationship with Liam.

He was distracted, reliving his conversation with Liam in his mind, when he felt the known warmth on his hand. He looked down to see what it was. What he saw was that where there was only an ‘I love you’ before, appeared the word ‘too’, forming an “I love you too.”

It wasn’t his first imprint by far, but it was so special that it felt like it was the first one. Zayn smiled, giddy, and picked his phone again.

“shit liam. i love you so fucking much. damn” he sent with trembling hands.

“sorry.. i just felt happy with you saying you love me back” he explained.

“i wanna kiss you so bad” he added.

“sorry again” he sent and turned off his phone, deciding not to touch it until morning.

 

\--

 

The next morning, Liam woke up with Niall shoving his phone on his face, the alarm blaring annoyingly.

“You forgot it in the living room,” Niall said grumpily, and left the bedroom.

Liam turned off the alarm and sat on his bed, rubbing his face tiredly. He was feeling a bit rough all around. The fact that he didn’t hear his alarm, even if it was in the living room, was very telling about his state of mind. He was exhausted. His eyes felt too puffy and his body was hurting. His thoughts were all over the place, but his feelings were settled, which was a very weird sensation. He breathed deeply and looked at his phone, noticing all the notifications. There were a lot of texts and social media alerts. He frowned and unlocked his phone to look at what that was about.

He checked his messages first. He frowned more deeply when he read Zayn’s apology for telling Sophia about them.

“tbh i didnt like u telling were soulmates w/o asking me first. i kno it shouldnt be a secret exactly but we have 2 discuss bout telling other people 1st. n u can txt me all u want” Liam sent and went to the other messages.

“tnx bout the hug it was lovely. i totes get u bout the comforting smell dont worry” Liam smiled and added “not that a perv way would be bad tho ;)”

“ofc ill add you” he sent, chuckling when Zayn said he had stalked him. _You don’t even know what stalking is._ Liam thought about how much he stalked Zayn, while he added him back on his social medias.

Liam stared at his phone for a while, smiling, shaking his head fondly and reading the ‘i wanna kiss you so bad’ repeatedly. He was debating with himself if he should answer that. He sighed and decided not to. He needed to talk with his counsellor, put it all out and work on getting his head on track.

He went to get ready for work, but his mind was caught up in Zayn’s messages. He was eating his breakfast when he caved.

“i wanna kiss you 2”

“so so bad”

“i love you”

He locked his phone and dropped it on the table, feeling exposed, but relieved for saying it.

 

\--

 

When Zayn woke up, he was late for his classes and left home in a rush. He only looked at his phone once he was inside the train, and smiled when he saw Liam’s messages.

“morning babe. how r u? im on my way to uni” he sent, giggling with Liam saying he could be a perv. _Ooh, good to know, baby, good to know!_ He tapped his finger on the phone repeatedly, deciding if he should send a cheeky message. “will u let me kiss u next time we c each other??” He bit his lip, doubtful after sending it, but it was too late.

He waited for Liam’s answer, but none came before his class started, so he pocketed his phone and paid attention to his professor. He couldn’t risk letting his score go down, because he needed to keep his scholarship. He worked so hard to get it in the first place, he would never risk it. Even though he knew Liam was more important, his studies were important too.

On his lunch break, he picked up his phone to browse through Liam’s social media. He liked all the pictures, going back until his very first post, not caring if he was a bit creepy. _He’s my soulmate; I’m allowed to be creepy._

Zayn was still waiting for Liam to answer his messages. He was anxious, doubting his texts, the way he acted the previous night, the conversation they had and the partial agreement they had reached.

“r u mad at me? did i cross the line?” he sent. He couldn’t help being anxious. “sorry”

Later that day, Zayn was going back home in the train, staring at the message thread with Liam. He was a bit disappointed because Liam didn’t answer, but he tried not worrying too much. Liam could have been busy at his work.

“i just left my last class of the day” he sent and tapped another text immediately. “when can i c u again?”

He knew he was pushing Liam, but he couldn’t help it. He spent five years waiting for him to show up, it was stronger than him. Zayn sighed and locked his phone, deciding to try to talk to Liam again when he went to bed.

When Zayn got home, he went to his bedroom and put some music. He sat on his desk and stared blankly at his laptop. He should study, but he couldn’t concentrate. This unresolved situation with Liam was bothering him too much. He needed to think about how to make this work. He wasn’t sure if Liam was avoiding him, but he hadn’t answered his messages yet. He didn’t know if Liam could use his phone in the Fire Department, but he imagined Liam would be able to send a message in his lunch break, at least.

He sighed, too upset to be reasonable. He was with his head bowed, trying to find a way to woo Liam, when he heard his father getting home. His parents didn’t know yet. _I need to tell them._ He thought, sadly. It would be such a disappointment to his parents. _Damn… I fucked up big time._ He banged his head on the desk, angry with himself.

He breathed deeply and raised his head, decided to face the consequences of his fuck up. _Liam suffered enough. I can't let my shame stop me. I won’t let other people's opinions stop me anymore._

He left his room and went to the kitchen, where his dad was greeting his mom.

“Dad, mom, I need to talk to you,” he said, sitting at the table.

“Yeah, sunshine? What about?” Trisha asked, noticing his serious expression and sitting in front of him.

His dad sat by his mom’s side, looking at him with his brows slightly furrowed. Zayn didn’t use ask to talk to his parents that way, and they got worried by his tone.

He decided to cut the crap and go straight to the point: “I found my soulmate.”

“Oh, love! Really?” His mom got up to hug him and kiss his cheek. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, mom,” Zayn answered, smiling slightly, hugging his mom back.

“Who is it?” his father asked, after hugging him as well.

“That’s what I wanted to talk about. Please, let’s sit again,” Zayn said, gesturing for them to go back to their chairs. When his parents were sat, he took a deep breath. “My soulmate is Liam Payne.”

Yaser frowned a bit. “Do I know him? I think I know that name,” he said, trying to remember where he knew a Liam Payne.

“You knew him in a rugby game at school when I was studying there yet. Remember when Percy was suspended from the team for bullying a player from another school?” Zayn tried to make his father remember without talking directly about Liam’s imprints.

His father frowned a bit more. He remembered suspending Percy once, but it was a long time ago. He didn’t even remember the reason, because Percy used to bully a lot of kids when he was at school.

“Liam Payne…” Yaser mumbled, trying to remember.

“He’s Ruth’s little brother, isn’t he?” Trisha asked, smiling softly. She hadn’t seen the boy a lot, only once in a while, when Ruth was there and he picked her up for some reason. He was very polite every time they met. _Poor baby, with those ugly imprints on his hands_. And then she blinked, her smile dying and being replaced with a frown. She looked at Zayn, waiting for him to deny, because it wasn’t possible it was that Liam Payne. _Payne is a common surname, and Liam is a common name_. She tried to reassure herself.

Yaser looked like had made the connections too. “You mean, the boy that had those godawful soulmate imprints?” he asked, waiting for Zayn to deny.

“Yeah, him,” Zayn said, bowing his head, ashamed.

“Zain?” his mom called, sounding distraught. “Are you sure? It can’t be him, surely? You wouldn’t say those things about your soulmate.”

Zayn swallowed, trying to answer, but the words didn’t come. How can he tell his mom that he _did_ say those words? His silence was answer enough.

“Why? Zain! How?” she was so shocked, she couldn’t articulate more words.

“I fucked up,” Zayn choked out, not facing his parents, tears welling up in his eyes.

“That’s not an answer,” his father said, sounding angry. “How and why did those words appeared on the hands of your soulmate?”

“I was an asshole,” Zayn said, simply.

“That’s not good enough!” His father punched the table, making Zayn and Trisha jump. “What made you say those things about such a nice kid? What did he do to you?”

“Calm down, love,” Trisha said, touching Yaser’s shoulder.

“Answer me, Zain,” he demanded.

“My friends used to talk shit about him. Not all the time, but like, when he did something awkward or was bullied. They didn’t bully him, really, but we talked between ourselves,” he said, not telling all the truth.

“Why did _you_ say those things? I’m not asking about your friends,” his father said, curtly.

Zayn swallowed hard. “They talked shit and I was expected to join the conversation.”

“And you said those things about him, because your friends expected you to,” It wasn't a question, but Zayn answered anyway.

“Yeah.” Zayn’s head was still bowed, ashamed.

“Look at me, Zain,” his father said, firmly, and Zayn raised his head. His mom was crying silently and he felt like he was being punched. “So he never did anything to you,” Yaser concluded.

“No, he didn’t,” Zayn confirmed, whispering.

“So, you’re telling me you said those awful things about your soulmate, because a bunch of kids _expected_ you to do that. I thought I had raised you better,” his father said, sounding disappointed. “I never thought my son would engage in such shameful behaviour towards anyone, even less his soulmate. What did you achieve doing that? Besides hurting your soulmate, I mean.”

“I was a part of the popular group at school and was respected by my classmates,” Zayn answered, truthfully, but ashamedly.

“How many people did you say such disgusting things about?” His father asked, angrily.

“Yaser, it’s not worth it,” Trisha said. “It’s in the past. We need to focus on the present.”

“The present consists of his soulmate who has his hands tainted by Zain’s cruel words,” Yaser said, undeterred. “And I want to know what I did wrong for my son to feel that it was something he could do.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Zayn said, biting his lip. “It was me who fucked everything up.” And then a tear slid down his face.

“At least you’re aware of your flaws,” his father said, his expression relentless. “What I want to know is, would you realize your wrong ways if you hadn’t ruined one of the most wonderful experiences of your soulmate’s life?”

Zayn couldn’t answer. He was crying silently, looking at the anger etched on his father’s face and the sadness in his mother’s watery eyes.

“I’m very disappointed in you,” his father said, with a hard set on his jaw.

“‘S nothing new,” Zayn mumbled, bitterly.

“What?” Yaser asked, sounding surprised.

“I was always a disappointment,” Zayn said.

“Where did that come from?” Yaser asked.

“I never was who you wanted me to be,” Zayn answered, sadly.

“What made you think that?” Yaser sounded shocked.

“Babe, your father is so proud of you!” Trisha said, surprised by Zayn’s thoughts as well. “You got a scholarship and you always were on top of your classes.”

“I _was_ proud of you. Now, I’m not so sure,” Yaser said, and Zayn flinched. “Did you talk with him already?

“I did, yesterday,” Zayn answered.

“What did he tell you?” Trisha asked.

“Not much, really. He didn’t want to talk about any of it. He even tried to lie to me and say he wasn’t my soulmate,” Zayn answered, his words choked on his throat.

“I can’t fault him for that,” Yaser said.

“Yaser!” Trisha said, upset.

“No, Trisha! What he did could damage his bond severely with his soulmate, if it’s not damaged already. All because he couldn’t deal with the bullying attached to our inheritage!” Yaser said to her and turned to Zayn. “If I were him, I would have lied too. I would try to keep you away from me with all my might. Consider yourself lucky if he lets you come close to him ever again,” he said and got up, storming out of the kitchen.

Zayn was sniffing quietly, his face red, trembling all over again.

“My boy, why did you do that?” Trisha asked, going to the other side to hug Zayn again.

“‘Cause I was stupid, mom,” Zayn croaked, trying to break away from her hug. He didn’t deserve her comfort.

“Stop it,” she said, noticing what he was doing. “You were stupid, yeah. Do you regret it?”

“Of course!” he said, scandalised, and tried to break her hug again, but she didn’t let him, squeezing him between her arms.

“Did you tell him that?”

“I did,” he mumbled, stopping the fight against her hug.

“So what did he say?” she asked, petting his head.

“He said he had already forgiven me,” his voice cracked and he sobbed.

Trisha nodded. “Now you have to make it up to him.”

“I do. But I don’t know how. He’s pushing me away,” he complained.

“You have to respect his space, love,” she said, softly.

“I know… But I wanted to work things out. We can’t do that with him keeping me away.”

“I believe you sprang this on him suddenly, yeah?” Trisha asked. “You never talked about him before.”

“Yeah, it was suddenly. He wasn’t expecting me at his flat yesterday,” Zayn admitted.

“So you went to his flat without warning him. He would never welcome you with open arms, love. He’s just trying to protect himself.”

“I know…” Zayn mumbled.

“You know, but you didn’t accept it yet. That’s what you have to work on first: accepting your soulmate is wary about you and giving him time. Don’t let him think you forgot him, but let him know you’ll give him all the time he needs.”

“Yeah… But it’s so hard, though.” He hid his face on his mom’s bosom.

“It is, love. But it’ll get better.” She rocked him slightly.

“And now dad hates me,” Zayn mumbled.

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s just disappointed and angry. Give him some time and he’ll come around.” She sighed. “What made you realize it was Liam? You knew him for so long…”

“I heard Doniya talking with Ruth on the phone,” he said.

“You snooped in on your sister’s conversation?” Trisha asked.

“I didn’t! She turned on the speakerphone and was with the door open. I was in my bedroom, it wasn’t my fault,” Zayn defended himself. “And she closed the door once she realized what Ruth was talking about, but I had listened to enough.”

“Right… And when was that?”

“Yesterday,” Zayn answered.

Trisha gasped. “And you went to talk with him straight away?” she asked, surprised.

“I-- Yeah, I-- I couldn’t wait anymore. I needed to be sure if it was him.”

Trisha sighed and petted his head again. “And what exactly did you hear?”

“Ruth said that Liam had got new imprints, good ones this time,” Zayn whispered. “And the day before yesterday I had talked about him.” He swallowed hard. “With Lou. And I said some nice things about him.”

“Oh, love…” Trisha squeezed him in her arms. “And?”

“I called his parents’ house to ask where he lived. They know us, because of Doniya, so his mom gave me his address easily. I went there and waited for him to get home…” He took a deep, trembling breath. “But before that, I thought about his imprints and about how I felt about them…” He sniffed. “And I realized that after the first time I said shit about him, I felt so bad… Now, looking back, I can see that I forced myself to ignore what I was feeling, but, every time someone talked about him, I felt like they would notice how bothered I was, so I talked shit too. To hide my feelings. And then-- Fuck, mom… I was so stupid… And Liam…” An ugly sob cut his words off.

Trisha leaned her head on his, holding him tight. “You made a mistake, love. A big one. But you can make it better,” she said, rocking him back and forth. When Zayn was calmer, she asked, “And Liam? How was it, yesterday?”

“It was awful, mom,” Zayn whispered. “I’m so ashamed and he said I’m not his soulmate to my face.”

“And he kept saying that?”

“No, after I insisted, he admitted, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He asked me to leave, and here I am.” He sighed, defeated.

“He said he didn’t want to talk about it yesterday or ever?”

“I think he meant ever. But we have to talk about it, mom,” Zayn said, raising his head to look at his mom’s face. “We need to work it out.”

“How about you try to be his friend first, baby?” his mom suggested. “If Liam doesn’t want to talk about it, forcing him to do it will make him more upset. Don’t put him under more pressure. He will talk when he’s ready.”

Zayn nodded, sadly, but knowing his mother was right. “You’re right. It’s just-- It’s so hard not being able to be close to him, you know? After so much time waiting for him to show up… He should have told me as soon as the first imprint showed up on him.” He was still frustrated about that.

“Don’t go down this path, love. He was at his most vulnerable, don’t judge him,” she said, kindly, but to Zayn it was like his mom had said _you don’t have the right to judge him._

“Okay,” he mumbled. “But what do I do now?”

“Give him his space, but showing that you’re available for him. Try to be his friend,” Trisha suggested. Zayn nodded, disheartened, but he knew it was the best course of action. “Now I understand why you always draw him,” she added, giggling.

“What?” Zayn frowned. “I've never drawn him.”

“Yes, you have,” Trisha said, still giggling. “Not him as a whole, but you had always drawn his eyes and his mouth. Your sketchbooks are filled with them. I thought it was a crush, because he is an attractive boy. But it was probably your subconscious trying to tell you something.”

Later, Zayn was browsing through his sketchbook and that was true. There was a lot of eyes and mouths that looked like Liam’s. And they were always the sketches he made when he let his mind run free. _Shit._  

 

\--

 

Liam saw the notifications of Zayn’s messages, but didn’t read them. He didn’t know exactly why. He was still feeling insecure, too overwhelmed with everything. He need to take each step through this relationship cautiously. He didn’t want to demonstrate how anxious and eager he was for any drop of Zayn’s attention. Which he knew was silly, because Zayn was his soulmate, he knew how much Liam wanted him. Okay, Liam was just being petty.

He scheduled a meet with his counsellor the next day. He hoped she could help him clear his thoughts. He was leaving the Fire Department, when his phone rung. His heartbeat speed up as he looked at it, thinking it could be Zayn.

It was his mom.

“Hey, mom,” he said.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you, babe?” Karen asked him, kindly.

“I’m good. And you?”

“I’m good too. Did Zayn find your flat?” she asked and Liam stopped in his tracks.

“How do you know that?” he asked, frowning.

“He called asking for your address,” she said. “What did he want?”

“Oh.” _Of course, he got my address somewhere. I’m so fucked up I hadn’t thought about that._ “Hm. He wanted to talk about--” He racked his brain, trying to find an excuse. “Actually, it was about something from our school days,” he answered. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Yeah? How come?” she sounded worried.

“Calm down, mom,” Liam said, trying to sound lightly. “We-- I mean, he-- He made an interview with me when I played with his school’s team.”

“And he wanted to talk about that?” she didn’t sound convinced.

“Look, mom, I have to drive now, to go to college. How about we talk later?” he said.

“Hm, okay,” she said, letting him go for now, but clearly planning to talk about it later, when he couldn’t run from the conversation.

“‘Kay, mom. Bye.” Liam didn’t wait for his mom to say bye to hang up. _Shit. I have to tell them_. Liam thought, worried. He still had to think about how he wanted that to go down. _It’s best if I go alone first and talk to them._ He sighed tiredly and entered his car.

He arrived at his college early and had to wait twenty minutes for his first class. While he waited, he decided to read Zayn’s messages.

He got a bunch of mixed feelings with Zayn asking if he could kiss him the next time they meet. Was he mad with him? The answer was _no_. But, at the same time, he was still upset and confused. Of course, he wanted Zayn to kiss him, only they need to figure things out first.

“im not mad at u” was the only answer he sent.

Liam spent his classes in a state of constant restlessness. He felt guilty for being so cold towards Zayn, but he was feeling too raw to talk.

When he got home, he felt his phone vibrate with a new message. He turned off all notifications and went to take a shower. After that, he laid down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling, willing his body to relax and go to sleep, but he couldn’t. He was in that ugly state in which he was exhausted but his mind was too preoccupied to let him sleep.

Niall knocked on his bedroom door and peeked inside.

“You arrived so silently. Are you okay, mate?” he asked, entering Liam’s bedroom and laying down with him.

“I’m so not okay,” Liam whispered.

“How was today?”

“Rough.”

“Did he contact you?”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

“He just sent some messages,” Liam mumbled. “I think I was too cold towards him.”

“Mate, I’m no professional here, so I can’t tell you the best thing to do, but I think you should do what you heart says is best,” Niall said.

“You’re so philosophical today,” Liam teased, not wanting to talk too long about that.

“Fuck off,” Niall poked him and cuddled closer.

“Love you, Ni.”

“Love you too, asshole. Do you want some medicine to sleep?” he asked, cautiously.

“No. I’ll talk to my counsellor tomorrow. She’ll probably tell me to go back onto medication if I don’t sleep two days in a row,” Liam answered. He hated to take medicine to sleep.

“I think you should talk to him,” Niall started to say and felt Liam tense. “I mean, not talk about shit, just talk to him. Yesterday you slept after you two cuddled on the floor.”

“Niall!” Liam punched his shoulder.

“Oi! Why the punch? I’ve already told you I was spying. Cut the crap, I’m trying to comfort you, you cunt,” Niall said, without any venom.

They cuddled for some time silently, until Liam felt his left hand get warm. He closed his eyes tightly, his breath caught in his throat.

“Are you okay, Li?” Niall asked, worried when he felt Liam start to tremble.

Liam sniffed and raised his left hand. Together, they saw the last letter of ‘Good’ appear on Liam’s hand. The warmth hadn’t stopped, and they saw the word ‘Bright’ forming close to his wrist.

“Well, at least the fucker is doing something to amend all the crap,” Niall mumbled.

Liam nodded and closed his eyes again. He fell asleep not a moment later.

 

\--

 

The next day, Liam went to his parent’s house as soon as he left his counsellor. They had talked a lot about how he was approaching the situation at the time - or not approaching, in this case - and how he would feel comfortable to deal with everything. The counsellor advised him to look for couple therapy. Liam didn’t know what Zayn thought about therapy in general, but it was a very good idea. He hoped Zayn went with it.

But now he had another mission: tell his parents about Zayn. He was nervous. He feared how his parents would deal with the truth. They had met Zayn a few times, because of Doniya. His mom actually quite liked him, but Liam always changed the subject when she talked about Zayn or tried to suggest that they should be friends.

His mom was watching a TV show when he got there.

“Hey, mom,” Liam kissed her cheek, seating by her side. “Is dad home?”

“Not yet, baby,” she said, not turning her eyes from the show. “How was your day?”

“It was good,” he answered, staring blankly at the TV.

Not much time later, his dad arrived from work. He kissed Karen and Liam’s cheek, and went upstairs to take a shower.

“Let’s go get dinner,” Karen called Liam and they went to the kitchen.

She started to heat the dinner up while Liam set the table. When Geoff got back, they sat at the table and ate the dinner chatting casually about their days.

“I need to tell you something,” Liam said, finally, after they finished eating.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” his mom asked, looking eager. His father was curious, but clearly cautious.

“My soulmate figured out who I am,” he said, looking at the tablecloth.

“Oh, really?” his mom said, delighted.

“Did they?” Geoff said, frowning. “When did this happen?”

“The day before yesterday.”

“And why did you wait so long to tell us, son?” his father asked, bemused.

“I was-- I am, insecure about this,” Liam admitted, quietly.

“Insecure about what exactly?” his mom asked, softly.

“About everything?” Liam answered, doubtful. “My feelings are all over the place, to be honest. I wanted to talk with my counsellor first. I needed to figure out how to deal with this situation.”

“Were they mean to you?” his dad asked, his face darkening. “When you talked. Were they mean to you?” he clarified.

“Oh, no, dad! He wasn’t, really! He was so ashamed and said sorry a lot of times,” Liam defended Zayn instinctively. “He cried so much, too.”

“So it’s a he,” his dad said, picking up the information quickly, his voice rough with protectiveness. “And he should be ashamed and cry because of it, alright. He should kneel at your feet asking for forgiveness.”

“He did that too, actually,” Liam whispered.

“He knelt?” Karen asked, covering her mouth.

“Something like that, yeah,” Liam mumbled, uncomfortable.

“Who is he?” Geoff asked.

Liam sighed. He knew it wasn’t worth it trying to stall, so he said, “Zayn Malik.”

“Doniya’s brother?” his dad asked, looking for a confirmation and Liam nodded. “That kid?” Geoff was shocked. “Why--? Why did he--? He looks like such a nice kid.”

“He _is_ a nice kid, Geoff,” Karen said, softly.

“No! He’s not! He hurt our boy!” Geoff said, resentful, and Liam flinched. It was the truth, though, but they didn’t know Zayn’s side of the story to judge him.

“Geoff, he’s Liam’s soulmate,” Karen intervened. “There’s nothing we can do about that. He made Liam suffer, but it looks like he changed his mind. You did see Liam’s new imprints.”

“I’m sorry, but I can't look at it with an open mind. Not right now. If he was any other person, someone that didn’t know our Liam…” Geoff was undeterred.

“But he didn’t know me, dad,” Liam mumbled. “He knew that I existed, but we were never friends, and I prevented it from happening ever since,” he admitted.

“It doesn’t make it any better. How can one person say those things about their soulmate and not feel that something was wrong?” Geoff asked.

“I don’t know,” was Liam whispered answer, looking down.

“Geoff, acting that way you make it more difficult for Liam,” Karen said, kindly.

“I know. I’m just.” Geoff released an aggravated breath. “I’m sorry, son.”

“It’s okay, dad. I get you,” Liam said, sadly, plucking up a thread of the tablecloth.

“You didn’t sound surprised, though,” Geoff said, frowning and turning towards Karen.

“I wasn’t,” she said, simply, making Liam snap his head up.

“Why weren’t you surprised?” Liam asked, confused.

“I knew it was him from some time now,” she answered.

“How--?” Liam was shocked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Geoff asked, upset for being kept in the dark.

“Liam didn’t want to tell anyone, I respected his wishes,” Karen defended herself.

“You should have told me,” Geoff grumbled.

“Why should I? For you to go and hunt down the kid?” She shook her head. “I was waiting for him to figure out how incredible Liam is,” she said, proudly. “And it looks like he did.”

Liam was speechless.

“How did you find out?” Geoff asked what Liam wanted to know, but wasn’t able to say.

“It was just a matter of observation. I started to suspect when Liam went to college and always changed the subject when I talked about Zayn. Doniya and Ruth are good friends, but he and Zayn never were, even though they studied at the same school for some time. And I always saw you looking at his social media.”

“You spied on me?” Liam was offended.

“It wasn’t spying. I used to walk by the corridor and, when you were with the door open, I looked in quickly, just to check if you were okay, mainly after--” She cut herself, but Liam knew she was talking about the time they found him out of it on the floor. “Well, first I thought you were friends. I didn’t know you were looking at his social media secretly, because every time I walked by, you never batted an eye. Now I know it’s because you were so engrossed into looking at him, you didn’t realize I was there.” She smiled faintly. “Then, he came here to pick Doniya up once, and I talked to you about him. You went pale and changed the subject so fast that I almost had whiplash. I tried to talk about him on other occasions, but you always changed the topic. I thought he was one of your bullies, but then, you told us who used to bully you at school and I never forgot those names, so I rejected that option. And then, the day before yesterday he called asking for your address after the last imprints appearing.” She shrugged. “I could say I was sure after his call, but honestly, I was sure way before.”

“I can’t believe you,” Liam mumbled, still too shocked.

“And I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Geoff said.

“I wouldn’t betray Liam’s secret,” she said. Liam shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, annoyed. “What do you plan to do now, baby?” Karen asked.

“I have to talk with him,” Liam answered. “Like, have a proper conversation with him.”

“You didn’t talk when he went to your flat?” his dad asked.

“We talked, but I wasn’t ready to talk about things properly, and we agreed to meet another time.” Liam shrugged.

“And now do you feel ready, sweetheart?” Karen asked.

“I dunno. But I have to try.” Liam sighed. “And I want to see him, too,” he mumbled.

“Of course, you want to see him, baby,” his mom said, patting his hand.

Liam nodded.

“When will you bring him here?” Geoff asked.

“It’s too soon to think about that, Geoff,” Karen said. “Don’t worry about it, baby,” she said, turning to Liam. “You’ll bring him here when you are _both_ ready.”

“‘kay. Thank you,” Liam smiled slightly. He was relieved about telling his parents, but he didn’t want to go through this again to tell his sisters. “Mom, could you tell Nic and Roo?” he asked.

“Of course, baby.” She smiled at him.

“Thank you.” Liam squeezed Karen’s hand, so thankful for her help.

“It’s my job, baby,” she said, and got up to hug him.


	3. Where I wanna be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I underestimated the fic (again). I thought I would finish it today, but I didn't. I'm sorry! I didn't want to leave you guys without an update, though. So, here's a third chapter.  
> The chapter is edited now. Thanks to my sweet Sabirah!  
> xx

It was Friday afternoon, and Zayn hadn’t heard from Liam since the previous day. He was frustrated about it, but he should learn to live with it. Liam needed time to process everything, and Zayn didn’t have the right to pressure him. Maybe, if he hadn’t been so anxious and hadn’t sprung everything onto Liam immediately, it would be better. Now it was too late to think of the ‘what ifs’.

Plus, Zayn hadn't told Louis, Ant and Danny about _anything_ yet. First, he would deal with Louis. He was prone to be the most difficult one, but once Zayn lets him know, the others would be easier.

That afternoon, he met with Louis at their favourite coffee place. Louis had drunk two cups of tea and Zayn still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell him. It wasn’t that he doubted their friendship, not now, after so many years. It was his shame that was preventing him from telling. But, Liam was his soulmate, and he would have to tell his friends sooner or later. And sooner was better than later. If Louis didn’t like it, he will damn well learn to accept it. Although, he’s not the asshole everyone think he is.

“So, Lou, I wanna tell you something,” Zayn said, ripping a paper napkin into small pieces.

“Finally! I thought you’d never tell me what was bothering you,” Louis said, giving Zayn his undivided attention.

If it was any other situation, Zayn would have kicked Louis under the table, but now wasn’t the time for jokes. Louis noticed the change in Zayn’s pattern and frowned.

“Yeah.” Zayn shrugged, hunching his shoulders a bit. “I found my soulmate,” he said, quietly, but with a small smile.

“No shit! Really?” Louis smiled and leaned over the table to squeeze Zayn’s arm. “I’m glad, lad. How is he?”

Zayn smile grew a bit more. “He’s awesome.” He swallowed hard, with a dreamy expression on his face.

“Oh, my god! Stop the gross thoughts you're thinking in front of me!” Louis kicked him under the table, making Zayn jump and kick him back. “When am I meeting the lad?”

“Well, ‘bout that…” Zayn cleared his throat. “You already know him. It’s Liam,” he said, looking at his hands.

“Liam? As in, Liam Payne?” Louis asked, bemused.

“Yeah.” Zayn nodded, still not looking at Louis.

“You mean, the same Liam that studied with us?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“The fireman?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.”

Zayn kept quiet. He couldn’t agree with that sentiment. If he was completely honest with himself, he wasn’t disappointed about it. His only disappointment was with himself, because when it came to Liam… He was ecstatic. Liam was gorgeous, brave, hot, cute… He was complete. Perfect.

“I fucked up, yeah,” Zayn said, his voice low, still not looking at Louis.

“Fuck, mate,” Louis said, sounding overwhelmed. “You’re not kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“Wow. This is… This is a lot,” Louis mumbled. “Shit, man. Like, Liam seems like a nice guy and everything, but…”

“He is a great guy,” Zayn defended him fiercely, snapping his head up and looking at Louis.

“Oi, calm the fuck down. I was trying to talk about his imprints in a nice way, okay?” Louis said, sharply.

“We’re still working on that,” Zayn mumbled, looking down.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Fuck off, Lou. The situation is shitty enough without you being an asshole,” Zayn grumbled.

“Did he try punching you when he found out?” Louis asked, teasing, but slightly worried. “Or does he not know yet?”

“He already knew. Since school,” Zayn said, picking another napkin to rip into tiny pieces.

“He what?” Louis blanched. “No shit! Why didn’t he tell you? Is he insane or something? Fuck!” Louis was shocked.

“He thought I wouldn’t believe him,” Zayn said, sadly.

“And would you? Believe him, I mean.”

“Of course I would! I had a crush on him through all of Sixth Form. I just forced myself not to think about him,” Zayn said, rolling the small pieces of paper between his fingers.

“But he didn’t tell you anyway,” Louis said. He sounded bemused still.

“Yeah. He was going through a rough time at school too, with Percy and his friends. And then, I didn’t do anything to help the situation, on the contrary.” Zayn shrugged. “But I still think he should have told me. I would have believed him.”

“How can you be so sure?” Louis asked. “He was pretty lame at the time.”

“He wasn’t lame. He was an easy target.” Zayn understood that now, but, at the time, he was too scared to be seen as a target to do anything different.

“Well, probably.” Louis shrugged. “But I think he should have told you too. We would have protected him, you know.”

“Would you?” Zayn asked, surprised.

“What? You think we’d let your soulmate get bullied the way he was if we knew?” Louis snorted. “Oh, yeah, now I can see you two are soulmates, alright. You’re as insane as him.” Louis kicked him under the table again and Zayn smiled, feeling too grateful for words.

 

\--

 

If it was up to Zayn, he would spend all day sending messages to Liam. But, he didn’t sound too enthusiastic in his answers, and it made Zayn insecure and anxious. He didn’t know if Liam was busy or if he just didn’t want to answer him. Or even if he didn’t like texting. _It’s a possibility._ Zayn just missed him so much…

It was such a weird feeling. He missed his soulmate since his first imprint appeared. He spent nights thinking about who he could be ― because he was always sure it was a he. He was so caught up in hiding his soft spot for Liam, that he forced himself not to pay attention to him. Besides saying shit about him, that was his biggest mistake. He was sure that, if he had paid attention to Liam, he would have noticed. Now he had to deal with the consequences.

The last message Liam sent him was a short ‘im not mad at u’ that did nothing to calm his anxiety. Zayn sent an ‘i miss you so much. when can i c u?’ that Liam didn’t even read. Zayn was frustrated and, on top of that, his father wasn’t talking to him. _Shit._

Zayn had just arrived home after his classes. He was debating with himself if he should send Liam another message. _I will send him as many messages as I want. He said I could, so I will._ He thought, annoyed at himself.

“i just got home from my classes. how r u babe?” He sent and turned his laptop on.

Zayn started to browse through Liam’s social media. He wished he could like his pictures again and maybe catch his attention with it. _Maybe I should comment on his pics?_ He thought, but didn't have the courage to do that. _What would I comment? ‘You look hot’? Too forward. ‘Looking sharp’? Ugh, no. ‘I wanna lick your face’? That would be true, but inappropriate, though._ It was too hard to comment on a picture from someone that you’re not too familiar with. Which was awful, because Liam was his soulmate and he felt like he knew him already. _But I don’t._ And wasn’t that disheartening.

He decided to post something on his social media to pass the time. He picked up one of his sketchbooks and opened it up to a drawing of Liam’s eye. He put a good light over it and snapped a picture. He put a filter and added the caption “I saw your eyes in my soul even before I knew who you are. I love you. xx”. He wanted to tag Liam, but didn’t dare. After publishing it, he sent the link to Liam through a text message.

“i realized today that i used to draw u before i knew it was u”. He sent with the link of the picture attached. “tbh it was my mom that told me i use to drawn the same eyes and lips”.

After he sent the message, a lot of notifications started to pop up on his phone’s screen. He looked at them, smiling with all the likes the drawing was receiving. There were some complimenting comments, some jokes lamenting he finding his soulmate. And, to his surprise, one of the comments was Niall’s: “take good care of him or i’ll beat you to death >:P”.

Zayn didn’t know how to react to that comment. The emoji made him think that maybe Niall was being friendly, but he doubted he was bluffing. Zayn liked the comment and answered it: “don’t worry. i’ll do best than my best’. As soon as he answered, Niall liked his comment, but didn’t answered back.

Zayn went to Niall’s profile and followed him. Niall followed him back, and it was as good as any approval he could get.

He spent some time saving his favourites pictures from Liam’s profile - all of them, really - waiting for him to answer. Every time his phone vibrated, he looked at it, hoping it was Liam. It wasn’t.

It was almost 9pm, when he turned off his laptop. He picked up his phone to read in bed, but he couldn’t concentrate. He was thinking, pondering if he should tell Liam that his parents knew about him. He sighed and decided to tell him.

“i told my parents bout u today. it went okay i guess. my dad is disappointed w me but i get him. i would b 2”. He sighed after he pushed the send button. “i told louis today too,” he added.

Zayn was looking at the thread of unread messages. He was trying to keep his hopes up, but he was sad. He started to type another message when the notification that Liam just read his messages came. He stopped, looking at it, waiting to see if the icon of Liam typing a message would appear. It didn’t. He sighed, ready to turn his phone off for the night, when it went off in his hand. He jumped with the sound and his heartbeat sped up when he saw who was calling him: Liam.

Zayn answered his phone quickly, a huge smile on his face.

“‘Lo,” he said, softly.

“Hey, Zayn. How are you?” Liam asked, with his voice a bit insecure.

Zayn sighed, closing his eyes to concentrate in Liam’s voice.

“I’m better now. How are you?” Zayn asked, the fond showing in his voice.

“I’m good,” Liam said. He kept quiet after that. Zayn didn’t know if he had something specific to say or if he called just to chat. He wanted to say so many things to Liam, but he decided it was better not to touch sensitive topics over the phone.

“I was looking at your pictures. You’re really photogenic,” Zayn said.

“Thanks,” Liam said, and Zayn could sense him smiling.

“I wanted to leave some comments, but I opted not to. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” And there was the ‘not touch sensitive topics over the phone’ going to hell.

“You can leave comments on my pics, Zayn,” Liam said, bemused.

“Not the way I want to, I think,” Zayn said, chuckling.

“How―? What did you want to comment?” Liam asked, laughing a bit too.

“Well, there was some pictures that I was too tempted to comment that you’re fucking hot.” He heard Liam huff a breath after that and went quiet. “And in others I wanted to say that you’re too cute for your sake. But I thought it would be too sudden for the people who follow you.”

“You didn’t think about that when you told Sophia about us,” Liam said, his voice reprimanding, but Zayn could sense he was just bantering.

“Yeah, I didn’t. My bad. I was scared she would hit on me,” Zayn said, laughing. He wasn’t scared, he was just uncomfortable under her attention and he wanted to keep her away.

“You could’ve just said no,” Liam said.

“Okay, I wanted her to know that you’re out of her reach too,” Zayn admitted.

“I can’t believe you,” Liam chuckled.

Zayn smiled, sighing. “I love the sound of your laugh,” he said. Liam stopped chuckling, but Zayn felt he was still smiling. He heard Liam take a deep intake of breath. “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” Liam started to said and stopped.

“What?” Zayn asked, worried.

“It’s just… I’m not used to the feeling of those imprints. Since we started to talk my hand felt warm twice, and a new one appeared just now,” Liam admitted.

“Oh…” Zayn bit his lip, not knowing what to say to keep the tone light. “Did you see the link I sent you?” he asked instead.

“Not yet,” Liam answered. “I called because I wanted to know if you’re free tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Zayn repeated, his heart fluttering in his chest. “I’m free, yeah. Why?”

“I wanna know if you want to go out with me. Have lunch or summat,” Liam said, clearly nervous.

“You mean, like a date?” Zayn asked, and his smile was huge.

“Well― Yeah, like a date,” Liam confirmed.

“I would love to have lunch with you, babe,” Zayn said. “Or anything, really. Just hang out with you,” he felt the need to add.

“Okay,” Liam said, sounding relieved.

Zayn wanted to ask if Liam doubted he would go with him on a date, and if so, why, but he stopped himself. His mom told him to not pressure Liam, so he would try his best.

“Where will we meet?” Zayn asked.

“Oh. I was thinking of picking you up at your home? After all, I asked you out,” Liam answered. “Is that okay?”

“‘Course babe. What time?” Zayn asked.

“How about at noon?”

“Perfect,” Zayn said.

“Dress casual, I’m taking you on a picnic,” Liam said.

“Oh, really? Sounds like fun!” Zayn said, giddy.

“Yeah,” Liam agreed and went quiet again.

“Will you let me kiss you?” Zayn asked, flirty.

“You’re impossible,” Liam said, chuckling. Zayn felt his hand warm and smiled.

“That’s not a no,” Zayn teased.

“You can try,” Liam teased back.

“Ooh, you’re such a tease,” Zayn joked.

“See you tomorrow?” Liam averted the question and Zayn laughed.

“Sure, babe. I can’t wait to see you again,” Zayn said.

“Me neither,” Liam whispered. “Bye.”

“Bye. I love you!” Zayn said, when Liam was hanging up. He hoped he had heard it. He felt his hand warm over the ‘I love you too’ imprint and giggled.

Zayn sent the message “u’ll be the death of me”.

“and u’ll love every second of it :P”, was Liam’s quick answer.

“i will”, Zayn sent back.

He was the happiest he remembered being in all his life.

 

\--

 

“what should i wear???” Zayn sent a message to Louis the next day, with four pictures attached. Two pairs of dark skinny pants and two shirts.

“where are you going?” Louis sent, without answering.

“a picnic date with Liam”, Zayn sent the answer with two more pictures, another pair of skinny pants and a t-shirt.

“none of them. you’re going to a park or something like that you need smth comfortable. put that batman tshirt you cut the sleeves off and turned into a tank top and put some not too tight pants with ripped knees”, Louis answered.

“k”, Zayn sent and put the clothes. He chose a pair of light wash jean pants. “boots?”

“sneakers. dont u know what comfortable means”, Louis answered.

“fuck you”, Zayn sent and picked up a pair of dark grey sneakers.

“u dont need 2 b edgy w him u need 2 b u”, Louis sent back.

“so insightful”, Zayn answered, smiling. He took a picture of himself in the mirror and sent Louis. “what bout the hair?” he asked, touching his undercut, thinking in maybe a top knot.

“let it loose to the side of ur face”, Louis answered.

“k im ready then”, Zayn sent after putting some rings on his fingers and a nose ring.

“did u put eyeliner?” Louis asked.

“werent u the one talking bout comfortable????” Zayn asked, laughing.

“i never said such thing”, Louis answered and proceeded to distract Zayn until the doorbell rang.

“hes here bye”, Zayn locked his phone and pocketed it, running down the stairs. He hoped to get there before his mom, or worse, one of his sisters.

He wasn’t so lucky. When he got there, his mom had already opened the door and was inviting Liam in.

“There’s no need for him to enter, mom. We’re leaving,” Zayn said, smiling when he saw Liam. _Fuck, he looks good._

Liam was wearing a tank top too, but a white one, showing the hair on his chiselled chest. His pants were a light wash jean, hanging low on his hips. He was wearing red sneakers and a red and black snapback.

“Yeah, thank you, Mrs. Malik,” Liam said, politely, but he was blushing a little with his hands inside his pockets.

“Call me Tricia, love,” Zayn’s mom said, smiling kindly.

“Bye, mom,” Zayn said, kissing her cheek and pulling Liam by his arm. “Don’t look back. If you show fear they’ll eat you alive,” he mumbled like he was talking about wild dogs. Liam laughed aloud at that, making Zayn giggle.

“You look good,” Liam said, opening the passenger door for Zayn. He had covered his imprints with makeup, and Zayn planned to ask about that when they arrived at the park.

“You look good too, babe,” Zayn flirted. “Such a gentleman,” he said, entering the car.

Liam closed the door and entered the car from the driver’s side.

“I’m taking you to a park close to my old school,” Liam said, starting the car. “It’s a nice place with huge trees and a pond.”

“Sounds lovely, babe,” Zayn said, smiling.

“I want to ask you something first,” Liam said, leaving the front of Zayn’s house carefully.

“Anything, babe,” Zayn assured him, noticing how he tensed a bit.

“Let’s focus on knowing each other today, yeah?” Liam said, forcing a smile. “I mean, I don’t wanna talk about my imprints, if that’s okay.”

Zayn sighed, but nodded. “Sure, babe.”

“And I loved your shirt,” Liam said, smiling, and jumping to the next subject.

“So, you like Batman, huh?” Zayn joked, poking his bulging arm, just an excuse to touch him, really.

“You know that already. You stalked me!” Liam said, giggling.

“Yeah, I did. Sorry, not sorry. But I like Batman too. I love comic books, so.” Zayn shrugged.

Of course, Liam knew that, but he wasn’t ready to admit his own stalking yet.

“You can put some music on,” Liam said, pointing to the glove compartment.

Zayn opened it and picked up a disc case from there. He smiled when he noticed that they had similar tastes in music. _He’s really perfect._ He chose a Drake album and started to bop his head to the rhythm of the music.

“Good choice,” Liam said, smiling. “What’s your favourite comic book character?” he asked, and they engaged in a conversation about that.

They made the rest of the way listening to the songs and talking about comic books and superhero movies. When they arrived at the park, Liam picked up a basket from the trunk and went with Zayn to a tree close to the pond. He spread a picnic blanket, took off his shoes and sat down. Zayn took off his shoes as well and sat by Liam’s side, looking at the pond. There were some families around, but not too close to them. The groups of families were closer to the dock on the other side of the pond.

“This place is really nice,” Zayn said, smiling.

“Yeah, it is,” Liam agreed.

“It’s a shame I can’t swim,” Zayn said, looking at the kids jumping in the water at the other side.

“I can teach you,” Liam offered, while he opened the basket and put the contents on the blanket.

“Maybe another day,” Zayn said, a bit worried that Liam would push the subject.

“Okay. I hope you drink beer,” Liam said, changing the subject. He knew Zayn drank beer, he had actually bought his favourite brand, but Zayn didn’t need to know that.

“I drink beer, yeah,” Zayn said, nodding. Liam opened a small cooler he had brought, and handed a beer to Zayn, getting another one for himself. “Thanks.” Zayn smiled at him, taking the beer.

“I made some chicken sandwiches. Nothing too fancy, though. I just wanted a chill time, you know?” Liam sounded nervous and Zayn caressed his shoulder.

“It’s perfect, babe. Don’t worry,” Zayn assured him, and smiled when Liam leaned into his touch. It was difficult to hold himself back and not touch Liam all the time. Zayn was happy Liam was allowing his touches at all, though.

“Are you hungry yet?” Liam asked, after taking a sip of his beer.

“Not yet. You?” Zayn asked, sipping his beer.

Liam smiled shyly, shaking his head, and took another sip of his beer. Zayn touched his hand, caressing it softly. Liam tensed for a second, and then relaxed.

“Does it bother you?” Zayn asked, entwining their fingers.

“Not at all. It was just unexpected,” Liam said, smiling. He had thought Zayn would rub the makeup on his hands, that’s why he tensed. When he realized it was only a caress, he relaxed.

“‘Kay.” Zayn smiled. From time to time, he glanced at Liam’s chest. The smattering of hair over chiselled muscle was too enticing for him to keep his eyes away for too long.

“If you do anything that bothers me, I’ll tell you immediately,” Liam said.

“Good. I like that,” Zayn said, nodding and leaning on Liam’s side.

They sipped their beers quietly, until Liam broke the silence.

“What are you studying at Uni?” he already knew, but he wanted to talk to Zayn, and get to know the real Zayn, not the one from social media.

“I’m majoring in English,” he answered.

“Why am I not surprised?” Liam said, and Zayn giggled. It was a very cute sound and he looked amazing doing it. “Do you like it?”

“I do. I prefer art, but I love English too. And it’s easier to get a job, so.” Zayn shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Liam nodded.

“Yeah. Fortunately, I got a scholarship, so I can focus solely on my studies. I wanna take my Masters after my graduation, so I’m building my academic resume since now,” Zayn said.

“That’s really smart of you,” Liam said, rubbing Zayn’s fingers with his thumb.

“It has its disadvantages.” Zayn shrugged.

“Yeah? How come?”

“I mean, basically, I have to build a good reputation with the professors. So, I’m tutoring in some disciplines, I have an internship at the Lit Department and I joined the Lit Club. And those are besides the classes.”

“Wow. That’s a lot,” Liam said, impressed. He knew Zayn spent a lot of time at Uni, but didn’t know he was involved in so many things.

“Yeah. I can’t have a job ‘cause of it. So, I spend the summers working two or three part time jobs to raise money for transportation and other small things. Fortunately, my dad said he would support me until I finish my studies. At least I won’t be homeless or hungry,” Zayn said. “On the downside, I’m still living at my parents’ house.”

“But anyway, it’s nice your dad helping you,” Liam said and Zayn nodded. “And it’s pretty impressive what you do. I mean, all those things at Uni…”

“It’s impressive because I’m poor. If you only knew how many rich kids at Uni have the time of their lives doing nothing, while I burn my ass off.” Zayn laughed.

“I can imagine,” Liam said, smiling. “But you’re still lucky, ‘cause your parents support you. A lot of people out there don’t have something like that.”

“Yeah, that’s true. It’s not the most ideal situation, but it’s better than most, isn’t it?” Zayn said.

Liam nodded, finishing his beer. “I’m getting hungry,” he said.

“Let’s eat,” Zayn put the rest of his beer to the side and helped Liam to serve their food. “This is really good,” he said, his mouth full, after the first bite of his sandwich.

“It’s just a sandwich.” Liam chuckled.

“A really good sandwich,” Zayn said. And it was true. “Who made these, again?”

“I made them,” Liam said.

“Hmm, so you can cook…” Zayn said, winking.

“I suppose I can.”

“You’re truly a dream.”

Liam smiled, feeling his cheeks get hot while his hand got warm. He swallowed the piece of sandwich that was in his mouth and took a sip from a bottle of water he had opened.

“Hm, does it always feel warm when the soulmate says something that you already has imprinted? I mean… You just said I’m a dream, and I felt my hand get warm,” Liam said that with his cheeks dusted in pink.

“Oh.” Zayn looked at Liam’s hands. “It does, yeah.” He smiled.

“Okay,” Liam ducked his head, eating his sandwich silently.

After they ate the sandwiches and put everything back in the basket, Liam held Zayn’s hand. Zayn smiled at him and leaned his head on Liam’s shoulder. He sighed happily. Liam turned his head a bit and breathed in Zayn’s hair. It smelled really nice and clean.

After a few minutes, Liam noticed that Zayn was very relaxed.

“Do you wanna lay down, babe?” Liam asked, softly.

Zayn nodded and raised his head. Liam put the basket to the side and helped Zayn to lie down. Liam laid down by Zayn’s side, and Zayn cuddled close to him, nestling his head on his shoulder. Zayn was smiling softly, his face close to Liam’s neck, breathing him in. He bit his lips and rolled to his side, putting his head over Liam’s chest and his arm around Liam’s waist.

He heard Liam’s heart beating fast and closed his eyes, feeling Liam’s hair and skin on his face. After a moment, Liam’s arms enveloped him tentatively, and Zayn melted. He stole a quick kiss on Liam’s chest and sighed. Soon he was asleep in Liam’s arms.

Liam stayed wide-awake through all of Zayn’s power nap. His mind was running in circles, trying to reconcile the awareness it was feeling towards Zayn with the need his body felt for him. _It’s not just my body. Is my soul too._ He closed his eyes, caressing Zayn’s hair and back lovingly, feeling his breath puff on his chest.

He was surprised by Zayn’s kiss on his chest, to say the least. But it was a good surprise, if he was being honest. Zayn’s cheek was terribly endearing. He hadn’t stopped thinking of Zayn asking if he could kiss him. His mind had run wild, creating scenarios in which that could happen. Of one thing he was sure, if Zayn didn’t kiss him today, _he_ would.

Liam watched Zayn’s eyelashes fluttering when he was close to waking up. He saw a small smile stretching Zayn’s pretty lips, and he tightened his arms around Liam just before he opened his eyes and looked up at him.

“Hey,” Zayn said, softly.

“Hey, yourself. How do you like your pillow?” Liam asked, scratching Zayn’s scalp.

“Hmm…” Zayn closed his eyes, delighted. “Best pillow ever. Can I take it home with me?” he flirted, opening his eyes and looking at Liam through his eyelashes.

Liam chuckled, but didn’t answer, just squeezed Zayn in his arms. Zayn bit his lip and hid his face on Liam’s chest - only an excuse to rub his face on Liam, really. Liam didn’t complain, though, so Zayn left another kiss on his chest. He turned his head to the side, closing his eyes again.

“Are you capable of sleeping on me again?” Liam asked, chuckling. His voice rumbled in his chest sounding even deeper that close.

“Don’t doubt my sleeping skills,” Zayn joked, poking Liam’s abs. “Christ, is your belly made of steel?” he asked, poking it again.

“No, it tickles!” Liam laughed, holding Zayn’s hand.

“Oooh, so you’re ticklish,” Zayn said, raising his head and wiggling his eyebrows comically.

“Ticklish _and_ stronger than you. Do you wanna fight me, Malik?” Liam challenged in a deep voice, joking.

Zayn blinked and swallowed hard with the deepness of Liam voice. _Not now, Zayn._ He reprimanded himself, changing the focus of his mind. He squinted at Liam in a mock-offended way.

“How dare you doubt my strength?” Zayn said, raising his upper body to take matters into his own hands.

Liam prevented his action, holding his arms and rolling them, inverting the positions. He attacked Zayn’s ribs, poking and tickling, making him squirm and laugh hysterically. With some effort, Zayn held one of Liam’s hands. Liam was holding Zayn’s other hand, preventing him from any tickling. Both were giggling, like silly kids.

“Surrender!” Liam demanded, his arms bulging to keep Zayn down. Zayn was stronger than he looked, and Liam had to use more strength than he expected to hold him down.

“Never!” Zayn said, using his feet as a support to push his hips up and dislodge Liam.

Liam held his ground grunting slightly. His snapback had rolled off somewhere in the middle of the fight, but he didn’t look like he cared. Zayn looked at him with a mischievous face and leaned up, biting Liam’s chest. Liam whelped, jumping back a bit. Zayn took the opportunity to free his arms, clutching at Liam’s waist, making him bend backwards from laughter.

Liam was almost breathless, but he held Zayn’s wrists firmly, raising his hands and pinning them over his head. He didn’t thought, just acted on instinct, and bit Zayn’s neck, hard enough to leave a bruise.

Zayn went completely still under him, a shiver running through his body.

“You won,” he whispered and Liam raised his head, an eyebrow lifted.

“Oh, yeah?” Liam asked, cocky.

“Hell yeah,” Zayn breathed and Liam raised his upper body to get off of Zayn, when he felt why exactly he won.

“Oh.” Liam looked at Zayn, feeling his face warm.

“I regret nothing, babe.” Zayn winked.

Liam picked up a corner of the blanket and covered Zayn’s face with it.

“Pervert!” he said, giggling and jumping off Zayn’s body.

“You bit my neck and I’m the perverted one?” Zayn said, laughing and pushing the blanked off his face.

“You bit my chest!” Liam pointed to the bruise that formed where Zayn had bit him.

“It’s not my fault if you didn’t get the memo when I bit you.” Zayn stuck his tongue out, not even a little ashamed.

“And it’s not my fault you’re a pervert and I’m not,” Liam bantered back, throwing pieces of grass at Zayn.

They laughed and bantered back and forth for some time, until Zayn pulled Liam down and cuddled him again. They laid on their sides, chests pressed together and Zayn’s face in Liam’s neck. Liam caressed Zayn’s back and neck softly, his hand pressing slightly over his fantail tattoo.

“I love this tattoo. It’s pretty,” Liam said, softly.

Zayn raised his head to look at his eyes, smiling. “That was one of the things I was curious about you. I didn’t know if you liked tattoos, but then I couldn’t stop getting them.” He shrugged.

“I like the ones I saw until now,” Liam said, touching his cheekbones softly. Zayn fluttered his eyes closed with the touch, leaning on it.

“I like yours too,” Zayn whispered, his eyes still closed, feeling Liam’s touch soothe his soul.

Zayn was so pretty. Even more that way, with his eyes closed and his eyelashes created blurred shadows on his golden skin, his lips wet from his tongue licking them from time to time, his breath soft and comforting. Liam leaned down instinctively, kissing his lips gently.

Liam felt Zayn jump in his arms, but he kept his lips over Zayn’s, just touching softly, feeling the texture of his skin. Zayn released a trembling breath, kissing Liam back just as softly. They didn’t rush into anything, just exchanged small, slow pecks, loaded with care and affection. Their hands touched their faces lovingly, recognizing each other by touch. Liam rubbed Zayn’s stubble, thicker than his own at the time, feeling Zayn do the same at his five o’clock shadow.

When Liam leaned back, Zayn followed him, kissing his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, covering every inch of his face with kisses. When he turned back to his mouth, Zayn covered Liam’s lips with his own, sucking softly, making the kiss wetter than before, but just as slow and sweet. Liam stayed there, enjoying Zayn’s attention on him, feeling his heart explode and reconstruct itself back together again inside his chest.

Before the kiss could get more heated, they heard a dog barking and remembered where they were. Zayn smiled against Liam’s lips, leaving a last, soft peck, before leaning back.

“You have the prettiest lips, you know that?” Zayn whispered, touching Liam’s lips. Liam felt his right hand warm, and smiled with a slight blush. “Hmm, was that another imprint appearing?” Zayn asked, teasing.

“I think it was,” Liam admitted.

Zayn’s expression changed, turning from teasing to endearing. “You’re too cute for _my_ sake,” he said, making Liam giggle when his hand heated again.

“Stop it!” he complained, but he was loving it.

“Did I tell you your chest is fucking hot?” Zayn said, ignoring what Liam had said. “I love your chest hair,” he added, rubbing it with his fingers.

“Shut up!” Liam said, holding Zayn’s face and kissing him.

“I loved the way you shut me up,” Zayn mumbled in the middle of the kiss, making Liam laugh.

“Oh my god, you’re impossible!” Liam said, with Zayn trying to keep kissing him.

“You love me!” Zayn said, biting Liam’s chin.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Liam giggled, pinching Zayn’s waist.

“Hey, I’m delicate, stop it,” Zayn said, poking Liam’s waist.

“Are you looking for another tickle fight?” Liam asked, clamping his hands on Zayn’s waist.

“Nah, I just want another bite on my neck,” Zayn teased, and they rolled around again, tickling and laughing like fools.

Some time later, they had calmed down and were cuddling again on the blanket.

“I’m hungry,” Zayn said.

“Is it dinnertime already?” Liam asked, looking at his watch. “Oh, wow. It’s past dinnertime. I should get you home.”

“You could stay for dinner,” Zayn said, eager to spend more time with Liam.

“No, I couldn’t intrude,” Liam said, shaking his head.

“You won’t intrude. My mom will love to have you there,” he said, and it was true.

“No, I can’t,” Liam said. He would feel too impolite to intrude that way.

“I just want to be with you a bit more,” Zayn admitted, with his eyes downcast, caressing Liam’s arm slowly.

“Oh.” Liam smiled when he heard that. “I can take you to dinner, then.”

“But then, I’d be the one imposing on you. You’ve already made all this stuff for me,” Zayn said.

“No, I’d love to, Zayn. Really,” Liam assured him. “And it’s no problem at all. It’s less scary than meeting the in laws on our first date, don’t you think?”

“You’ve already met my parents.” Zayn huffed a breath.

“So, let’s go get dinner at _my_ parents’, then,” Liam suggested, raising an eyebrow.

Zayn opened his mouth to reply, but stopped. “Okay, you have a point. Let’s go get dinner somewhere else,” he accepted.

Liam kissed his nose and got up to collect the basket, the blanket and his snapback.

“Do you have any suggestions of a place?” Liam asked, once they were inside the car.

“How about some pizza?” Zayn suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” Liam said, going to a pizzeria close to the park.

When they entered, they were greeted by a pleasant waiter who guided them to a table for two. The waiter handed them menus and sent a friendly smile at Liam - _too friendly_. He left them to pick up their drinks while they chose what they would eat.

When he came back, his smile was even sweeter. He poured Liam’s drink leaning a bit too much in his direction. He asked what they would eat and Zayn chose the first pizza with a chicken topping. Liam chose his and handed the menu back to the waiter. Zayn noticed that the waiter touched Liam’s hand subtly when he pick the menu up. Zayn handed his menu, frowning. The waiter left them and Zayn held Liam’s hand over the table, possessively.

The waiter noticed their hands from afar and, when he came back with the garlic bread, he had changed his behaviour to a more professional one. Zayn wanted to kiss Liam right there, but decided that it would be too petty and childish.

“We talked earlier about my studies, but you didn’t tell me what you’re studying,” Zayn said, once the waiter left them.

“Oh, it’s a Fire & Rescue degree,” Liam answered, eating a piece of the garlic bread.

“Do you like it?” Zayn asked the same thing Liam asked when they were talking about his studies. He wanted to know if Liam was happy with his studies, too.

“To be honest, I like the job better. But it’ll help me do better at my job, that’s why I’m taking it,” Liam answered.

“Do you like being a fireman? Isn’t it too dangerous?”

“It has its dangerous moments, yeah, but it’s not every day. Like, the most dangerous are big fires. Fortunately, they don’t happen too often,” Liam said.

“You think a medium fire isn’t too dangerous?” Zayn chuckled.

“I mean, they can be, yeah? But we’re trained to deal with it. We have equipment to be safe and such,” Liam said. “It’s good work. It makes me feel useful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Zayn smiled.

“Yeah, thanks.” Liam smiled back. “It’s the job I chose. I’m happy about it. It wasn’t ‘cause of any pressure or anything. I just always liked firemen and thought they were awesome.”

“And now you’re awesome like all the other firemen,” Zayn said, caressing Liam’s hand softly.

Liam felt his hand warm and ducked his head. “You’re doing it again!”

“Oooh, am I?” Zayn winked and Liam pinched his arm. “Ouch,” Zayn pretended to be hurt, but Liam only pinched him again, making him laugh.

They kept chatting, but Zayn noticed that the waiter sent lingering gazes towards Liam from time to time. He didn’t like that, but he wouldn’t make an ass of himself because of it. When the waiter brought their pizza, still clad with a _too friendly_ smile for Liam, Zayn swallowed his jealousy and decided to keep Liam’s attention solely on himself.

To achieve that, he used all the tools he had: his face, basically. Zayn wasn’t conceited, far from that, but he had a mirror at home and he knew the power of his facial expressions. So, he used them. From time to time, he blinked slowly at Liam, half-closing his eyes and fluttering his eyelashes while pouting softly. His plan was working, because every time he did that, he noticed Liam’s breathing change pattern.

“You’re a witch,” Liam said, out of nowhere, making Zayn laugh out loud.

“Why would you say that?” he asked, pressing his pulse to his forehead, sensing that he was caught.

“You’re bewitching me,” Liam said, shaking his head like he was annoyed.

“Is it working, babe?” Zayn flirted, waiting for Liam’s laugh.

“It’s worked quite a few years ago,” Liam said, seriously, making Zayn’s breath catch in his throat and his face warm some more. Liam picked Zayn’s hand up from the table and kissed it, winking at him.

“You idiot,” Zayn said, giggling and kicking him underneath the table. Liam felt his hand warm and he stopped with the fork in the air, blinking at Zayn. “What?” Zayn asked, noticing Liam’s face. And then, he understood, feeling a cold hand squeeze his heart. “Oh, babe… I’m so sorry,” he rushed to say. “I didn’t mean to―”

“Stop, Zayn,” Liam cut him off, shaking his head. “No, babe. Seriously. It was different, don’t worry.” And what a revelation it was, to feel the difference between an offence and some bantering on his skin.

“How can I not worry, Liam?” Zayn said, anxious, leaning over the table to get closer to him. “Babe, I… Shit.”

“Zayn.” Liam put his cutlery on the plate and held Zayn’s both hands. “Babe, seriously. _It was different_. You weren’t trying to offend me, we’re bantering. It was like…” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about that, but let me say this. The other ones,” he said and Zayn understood he was talking about the bad ones. “They burned my skin like I was being tattooed for real. These more recent ones felt warm and comfortable. That last one felt that way. You didn’t mean to offend me, and I’m not offended. I was just surprised.”

Zayn had his pretty eyes wide open and shining, looking at Liam while he explained that.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Zayn said, squeezing Liam’s hands. He was happy Liam realized that too.

“My best mate calls me a cunt on a daily basis,” Liam said, making Zayn chuckle a bit, but he still looked worried. Liam sighed, wanting to change that. “I called you impossible, witch, pervert…” he said, looking at Zayn’s hands and finding those words in the midst of the others. “Did you feel them appearing?”

“Yeah, I did.” Zayn nodded.

“And they didn’t bother you.”

“They didn’t,” Zayn admitted.

“It’s the same for me,” Liam assured him.

“‘Kay,” Zayn said, with a smile so beautiful that Liam wanted to kiss it off his face. “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry about that, love.” Liam kissed his hand again and let them go gently. “Now let’s eat, yeah?”

Zayn swallowed hard and nodded, turning back to his food. They kept quiet for some time, until Liam asked Zayn about his art and they engaged in easy conversation again.

When they left the pizzeria, the waiter said goodbye with a smile, telling them to come back soon. Zayn frowned and held Liam’s hand. After they left the parking lot, Zayn mumbled:

“He was hitting on you. I didn’t like that.”

“He wasn’t hitting on me,” Liam said, knowing Zayn was talking about the waiter. “He was getting ready to, before he realized we were on a date. It wasn’t in a malicious way.” He was finding Zayn’s jealousy very amusing.

“How didn’t he realize it as soon as we got in? I mean, we arrived together, asked for a table for two. Is he dumb?” Zayn said, annoyed, while Liam chuckled.

“He would never guess. Not with your hands covered in soulmate imprints and mine apparently clear,” Liam said, biting his lip, losing some of the humour.

Zayn hadn’t thought about that. It made sense, which was disheartening.

“Still. He shouldn’t assume anything. He should act like a professional. It’s what he was supposed to do, it’s what we’re paying him to do,” Zayn said, his annoyance blended with a bit of sadness. “And after he realized we were on a date, he kept staring at you.”

“Well, yeah. I guess you’re right,” Liam said, quietly.

Zayn licked his lips and took a deep breath. Since he first saw Liam at his home earlier, he wanted to ask why he was covering his imprints again. It was something that bothered him, because now he had good imprints on his hands. Zayn would dare say that, as of now, he had more cute imprints than ugly ones.

“I know you asked me not to talk about your imprints,” Zayn started to ask, and Liam’s grip on the wheel tensed. “I just― I won’t ask about the past, exactly. I just wanna know why you covered them again.”

Liam sighed tiredly and wetted his lips. He glanced briefly at Zayn and turned his attention back to the road.

“I can’t show them because of my work,” he answered.

“But― You showed them before, at your school and…” Zayn was confused.

“To be a part of the Fire Department, I needed to prove I was emotionally stable. Going there with a soulmate imprint saying ‘I hate you’ would be a guarantee of emotional instability,” Liam explained.

Zayn nodded, understanding. “But wouldn’t you be in trouble if they find out? I mean, they could find out from your teenage pictures, or from your mates? Or, dunno, the makeup could wear off…” he didn’t say ‘like it happened at school’, but Liam knew why he was saying that.

“Yeah, I would, but I’m always careful with the makeup. I perfected it with the years,” he said, sadly. “And my mates wouldn’t betray me. To be honest, they don’t even know I hide them because of my work. They think it’s just because I got ashamed and they pretend the imprints don’t exist,” Liam said.

Zayn nodded again, and kept quiet the rest of the way back home.

When they arrived at Zayn’s house, Liam got out of the car to walk Zayn to the door. Zayn smiled and held Liam’s hand.

“You’re such a gentleman…” he said and kissed Liam’s shoulder.

Liam giggled and let go of Zayn’s hand to put his arm over his shoulders. Zayn wrapped Liam’s waist with both his arms and they tumbled to the door, giggling. When they got there, Zayn hugged Liam, hiding his face on his neck. He kissed it softly and raised his head.

“Thanks for today,” he said, smiling.

“You’re welcome,” Liam said, smiling too. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” Zayn said, leaning in and kissing Liam’s lips softly. “I don’t want you to go,” he said. He had this feeling in his chest that Liam would be cold towards him once they were apart.

“I don’t wanna leave you too, babe,” Liam said, kissing his forehead.

“You could come in,” Zayn said. “We could watch something in my bedroom and chill.”

Liam smiled. “Sounds lovely. How about another day?” he suggested, instead.

Zayn sighed. “Okay,” he said, ducking his head, a bit sad.

“Don’t be like that,” Liam said, touching Zayn’s chin and raising his face. “It’s not like I’m leaving town.”

Zayn wanted to say that when they weren’t together, he missed Liam so much, but that would sound too clingy. He touched Liam’s jaw and caressed it softly, feeling the prickle of his five o’clock shadow, looking at his mouth.

“You’re doing that again,” Liam whispered, and Zayn looked up at his eyes. “Bewitching me.”  

Zayn licked his lips, holding Liam’s gaze. “Is it working?”

Liam huffed a breath and covered Zayn’s mouth with his, in a heated kiss. Zayn held Liam’s head with both his hands, pushing Liam’s snapback onto the ground, forgetting where he was, lost in the kiss. Liam licked his bottom lip and Zayn parted them, sucking Liam’s tongue into his mouth hungrily, a soft moan leaving his throat. Liam pulled his tongue out from Zayn’s mouth slowly, making him whine quietly and close his fists in Liam’s hair to keep him close. Liam gasped at the unexpected - and delicious - pain, his body catching fire with the gesture. His arm around his waist pressed them together tightly, and one of his hands fisted Zayn’s hair while he devoured his mouth. He coaxed Zayn’s tongue into his mouth and tugged his hair, making his neck bend backwards a bit. Zayn moaned inside the kiss, a shiver coursing through his body. He felt weak in the knees, and his cock twitched inside his pants. When Liam noticed that, he leaned back, breaking the kiss.

“Fuck…” Zayn mumbled, his chest heaving, gasping breaths leaving his mouth. Liam tucked his head in Zayn’s neck, his breath heavy as well.

“We shouldn’t do that out here,” Liam mumbled, chuckling against Zayn’s skin.

“Yeah, you’re right. Come inside with me,” Zayn said, his breath still laboured.

Liam raised his head, chuckling. His lips were pinker than before, a soft blush dusting his face and chest. Zayn licked his lips instinctively.

“Stop doing that!” Liam said, laughing and let go of Zayn, taking a step back.

“Nooo, don’t!” Zayn complained, clinging onto Liam. “I’m not doing anything!”

“You are! You’re looking at me like you were taking my clothes off in your mind!” Liam giggled, but let Zayn hug him.

“Was not!” Zayn said, joking, but he was actually _ripping_ Liam’s clothes off in his head. “It’s not my fault you’re this hot.” He bit Liam’s shoulder softly.

“Hey!” Liam reprimanded him, pulling his hair again to raise his head.

“See, it’s your fault! _You’re_ the one doing things!” Zayn said, pretending he would bite Liam again. Liam held his hair firmly, but not enough to hurt. If Zayn wanted, he could free his head easily.

“You’re impossible,” Liam said, clicking his tongue.

“I love you,” Zayn said, his eyes softening.

“I love you too,” Liam said, caressing his scalp. He kissed Zayn’s lips softly, smiling when he leaned back. “It’s my time to go.”

“Okay.” Zayn sighed and stepped back.

“Goodnight, Zayn,” Liam smiled, picking his snapback up from the ground and turning to go.

“Wait!” Zayn said, holding his hand. “We didn’t take a picture.” He pulled his phone from his pocket.

Liam shook his head, exasperated but endeared at the same time. He let Zayn take some pictures of them in a lot of angles and poses.

“Great. Love them,” Zayn said, looking at the pictures fondly before pocketing his phone again. “Night, love,” he said and hugged Liam by the neck, kissing him slow and hot.

When they broke the kiss, Liam smiled, pecked his lips once more and turned to leave again. But he stopped and came back close to Zayn.

“I would prefer if you didn’t publish any of our pictures,” he said to Zayn.

Zayn frowned. “Why?”

“I prefer that we keep our relationship private for now,” he answered.

Zayn nodded, he wasn’t happy with that, but he accepted Liam’s decision. “Okay, babe. Anything you want.”

Liam waved and turned back, this time going home.

Zayn went to his bedroom and fell onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling, smiling like a loon.

“I guess it went well,” his mom said from the door, making him jump.

“You scared me, mom,” he said, frowning a bit, but smiling again quickly. “And yeah, it went pretty awesome, to be honest.”

“I'm glad for you, baby,” she said, entering and closing the door. She sat on Zayn’s bed, close to him, and touched his hair. “Even though I prefer if you two don’t make out in front of our door, I understand the sentiment.”

“Sorry about that,” Zayn said, feeling his face heat.

“That’s okay, love. Just try not to do that again. You might scandalize our neighbours. Such good and pure people, you know,” she said, sarcastically.

Zayn snorted a laugh, nodding. Their neighbours were the worst kind of gossips.

“It was so great, mom. I’m blissed out,” Zayn said, sighing.

“I can see it on your face, my love,” Trisha said, smiling.

“He didn’t want me to post our picture on social media, though,” he said.

“It’s understandable. He’s still working on trusting you.”

“Yeah. I guess I have to wait,” Zayn mumbled.

“Yeah.”

Zayn looked at the ceiling, thinking about his imprints. For the first time he was questioning why they were still on their hands. _Weren’t they supposed to disappear once we found each other?_ He asked himself.

“Mom,” he called.

“Yeah?”

“Why do we still have the imprints? Weren’t they supposed to disappear once we met each other?” he asked.

“Not really, babe,” she said. “They’ll disappear once you two get together.”

“But… Aren’t we together already?”

“I don’t know, babe. Are you?” she asked.

“I am with him,” he said. “But he probably isn’t with me yet.”

 

When Liam got home, he took off the makeup from his hands, finding the new additions: ‘Prettiest lips’, ‘Hot chest’, ‘I love your chest hair’, ‘Gentleman’, ‘I love the way you shut me up’ and the ‘Idiot’. He smiled at the ‘Idiot’. Even the type of the letters were different from his initial imprints. While the older ones were in bold capitals, this one was a soft cursive.

Liam smiled, wanting to take a picture of his new imprints and send to Zayn. He even picked up his phone, but decided not to. He would end up sending the bad ones too, and he didn’t know how Zayn would react. They needed to have that conversation face to face, yet.

He scrolled up the conversation and saw the link Zayn sent the other day. He could see it was a picture of a drawing of an eye, and, by the caption, he realized it was his eye. He hadn’t clicked on it before because he wasn’t feeling ready to see the comments. But now he thought he would be okay seeing it.

He clicked on the link and felt a bit shy staring at his own eye on the screen. _He had drawn that before knowing it was me?_ He was impressed. He looked the comments and snorted when he saw Niall’s. He smiled when he saw Zayn’s answer to Niall’s comment. He debated with himself if he should leave a comment, and decided he could.

“it’s truly beautiful x” _There._ He thought. Nothing much, but he acknowledged the drawing.

Not even two seconds later, Zayn liked his comment and answered: “the real one is way more beautiful ;) xx”

Liam smiled and refreshed the page, and a new picture was posted. He clicked on it and there was a picture of Zayn’s hand with his new imprints.

“Today was our 1st date and he called me a pervert and a witch. I think it went really well. I’m blissed out. Miss you already. xx”

Under it, Liam saw a comment made by Louis and liked by Zayn: “aww aren’t you two disgusting”.

Liam giggled and liked the picture. He decided it would be best not leave any comments.

He was getting ready for bed, when his phone vibrated with an incoming message.

“can i c u tomorrow?” attached was a picture of Zayn, with his lower lip stuck out, pouting.

Liam decided to play with him a bit, and snapped a selfie laying on his bed, shirtless, with his head on the pillow.

“sure babe. what time?” He put the caption on the picture and sent it.

“shiiiiiiit” Zayn sent as soon as he got the message. “fucking hell liam! u almost made me cum earlier with that kiss now u wanna kill me” Liam giggled with that message. “that’s not right” came quickly after.

“u love it ;P” he sent. “how about i pick you up at 3ish?”

“thats tru i love it. i love you” Zayn sent. “3ish is good”.

“see you 2morrow. gnight. xx” Liam sent and turned his phone off.

 

\--

 

The next day, it was Zayn who opened the door when Liam arrived at his house. He had a big smile on his face, looking even prettier, if that was possible.

“Hey, babe,” Zayn said, closing the door and leaning close to kiss his lips softly. “Where are we going?” he asked, holding Liam’s hand while they walked to the car.

“I was thinking of taking you to my place. We can watch some movies and chill. What do you think?” Liam asked.

“It sounds great.” Zayn smiled. He loved to stay at home and chill. It was his anti-social side speaking.

Liam nodded, smiling, and took Zayn to his flat.

When they got there, Niall was on the couch with a longhaired man, watching the British Bake Off. They raised their heads when they noticed them at the door. Zayn tensed a bit, because he didn’t expect that there would be anyone beside Liam and Niall.

“Zayn, this is my mate Harry. Harry, this is Zayn,” Liam introduced them.

Harry got up from the couch to shake Zayn’s hand firmly.

“Nice to finally meet you, Zayn,” he said in a deep, slow draw. He looked friendly enough, and Zayn smiled a bit.

“Nice to meet you too,” he said, nodding. “And hi, Niall.” he greeted.

“Hey, Zayn.” Niall nodded at him, and turned back to the TV.

Harry went back to the couch with a last smile in Zayn’s direction.

Liam pulled Zayn to his bedroom, smiling. When he closed the door, Niall shouted: “Remember the walls are thin!”

“Fuck off, Nialler!” Liam said, laughing, with his face dusted in pink.

“And be safe, boys!” Harry shouted.

“Shut up, you two!” Liam shouted, shaking his head.

Zayn chuckled and hugged him. “You don’t need to be safe with me. I’m clean because I’m a virgin,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Liam rolled his eyes. “Don’t be silly,” he said, kissing Zayn’s nose.

Zayn giggled, but didn’t insist on the subject. It was true that he was a virgin. He waited for Liam since his first imprint appeared, not interested in a meaningless fuck. But that wasn’t the best moment to talk about it. And he had to prepare himself for the possibility of Liam not being a virgin, too.

“What do you prefer, queueing something up on Netflix or a DVD?” Liam asked, guiding Zayn to his double bed.

“I’m fine with anything, babe. Really. I just wanna cuddle you, I doubt I’ll pay attention to anything besides you,” Zayn said, honestly, taking off his shoes and sitting on the bed.

“I’ll put some music on, then,” Liam said, smiling. He wasn’t interested in anything besides being close to Zayn too. He turned his laptop on and put the player on shuffle. “Let me just take these off. I’ll be right back,” he said raising his hands, and left the room.

Zayn understood what he was talking about immediately, and bit his lips. It would be the first time after the rugby game that Liam would show his imprints freely.

A few minutes later, Liam entered the room with his hands clean. He laid down on his bed and pulled Zayn to cuddle with him. Zayn breathed on Liam’s scent, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Liam wasn’t relaxed. He had spent a good part of the previous night thinking about talking with Zayn. He wasn’t ready to talk about the most traumatic phase of his life, but he wasn’t sure he would ever feel ready. His counsellor asked him to access his feelings and decide how he would deal with everything, but advised him to not rush.

He accepted her advice, but, at the same time, he wanted to stay close to Zayn. Only the ‘get to know you without talking about my imprints’ deal wasn’t working for him, really. He wanted to know why Zayn had said those things in the first place, even though it would hurt. Even more, he wanted to know if Zayn had really changed his mind, or if he was acting that way because he was his soulmate and had accepted his fate.

“Zayn,” he called, softly.

“Yeah?” Zayn’s voice was sleepy.

“Do you wanna take a nap?” he asked instead, stalling.

“I’m comfortable, so, wanting or not, I’ll probably fall asleep,” he said, chuckling. “Unless you have something better in mind?” He raised his head, smirking.

“What I have in mind isn’t better exactly, but it’s necessary,” Liam said, his tone uncertain.

“Oh.” Zayn got one hundred percent alert when he heard that. “What do you wanna do, babe?”

“I―” Liam started to say, but cut himself off. He looked at Zayn and sighed. “Let’s sit?”

Zayn frowned, but went with it, sitting in front of Liam with his ankles crossed. He felt anxious with the sudden distance Liam was putting between them. So, he leaned close to Liam and held his hands. He wanted to say he was sorry, but Liam hadn’t said anything yet, so he waited.

“I wished I didn’t care about any of this, but…” Liam started to say, and ducked his head. “The truth is that I care and, even though I forgave you, I still think about it a lot and… I just want to know why.” He finally looked at Zayn’s face. “I mean, I never did anything to you, like, ever. I didn’t even talk to you. And in our first interaction you…” he shrugged, looking down again. “And like, you didn’t use to treat people bad. For some time I questioned myself if I ever did anything to you without noticing. So, why?”

Zayn listened him speak, his heart breaking for the way Liam was. He was slightly hunched in on himself, looking down, seeming ashamed, when the one who should be ashamed was Zayn. When he finished, Zayn took a deep breath.

“I was stupid and fucked up. I always saw the way you were treated, and feared to be treated the same way if I defended you. But then, I started to like you,” Liam frowned at that, but Zayn kept going on. “But I didn’t realize it at the time. I thought I just had a soft spot for you, because you were really cute. And when I noticed that, I got scared Percy would notice too and start to bully me as well. I feared to put myself in a position in which I could lose the support of my friends and―” Zayn cut himself.

“Be one of the losers,” Liam completed for him.

Zayn was ashamed, but nodded. “I was stupid. I shouldn’t do that. Even if you weren’t my soulmate. You didn’t deserve that. I should have grown a pair and told them it was stupid to say shit about someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“So, you said those things because you didn’t want to get bullied?” Liam asked.

“At the start, yeah.”

“Even when we bumped?” Liam frowned.

“That time I was angry about a lot of things going wrong that day, and Ant and Danny were teasing me. I reacted in the worst way possible. I didn’t think clearly, just blurted the first thing that came to my mouth. I wish I could say I had any reason to snap at you, but I didn’t. I was just plain stupid and awful. Just like any bully.” Zayn’s head was bowed. “At least I realized that when people started to laugh. I felt awful, but Ant and Danny spurred me on into being a bigger ass.”

Liam let go a long huff of air after that. “So, you were just an ass?”

“Yeah. And not only with you. With anyone my friends thought was a good laugh. But I felt awful every time I said anything bad about you. That’s what shows how stupid I was, because I felt like shit, but didn’t realize I felt that way because you are my soulmate.” Zayn sniffed, still not looking at Liam.

“That’s…” Liam didn’t know how to finish. “Fuck. You were only a stupid kid thinking it was okay being a brat to get rid of bad attention,” he concluded.

“I didn’t think it was okay, I just went with the flow. I knew it was wrong and kept doing it because everyone was doing the same. Which makes my behaviour even worse.”

“Yeah, it does, indeed,” Liam said, gruffly.

Zayn raised his head and squeezed Liam’s hands, not allowing him to let go.

“But I changed, Liam,” he said, earnestly. “I changed. Even before we met at that fire. I changed and stopped being stupid that way. And I’m so sorry that my stupidity made you suffer so much.”

Liam sighed and bowed his head.

“It’s just― It’s so hard for me to believe you said you hated me because you wanted to make your friends think you were cool,” Liam admitted, sounding defeated.

“That time wasn’t about that,” Zayn whispered, ashamed. He wished he never needed to expose that part of himself, but Liam deserved the truth.

Liam raised his head, frowning. “What was it about, then?”

Zayn swallowed hard. “I was angry at you,” he whispered.

“What did I do to you that day? It was the day of the rugby game at your school. I was polite to you, even though I wanted to run in the opposite direction,” Liam didn’t understand.

“That day I tried to find your social media. I wanted to stalk you a bit, because you were hot. I got frustrated, because I didn’t find any. And then, my dad came into my bedroom to ask if I knew you, saying you were a great kid… You are everything my father wanted in a son, and I’m the opposite. You like sports and do well on them; you even had a try-out to the Olympics…” Liam tensed more at that and Zayn looked at him. He hadn’t passed the try-outs. “Sorry for touching the subject,” he said, thinking Liam tensed because he didn’t like to talk about it. Then, he remembered that that was one of the occasions he said something bad about him. He felt a cold shiver run through his body while he looked at Liam’s stony face. He didn’t want to ask, but he needed to know. He had to know the extent of the consequences of his actions in Liam’s life. “It was because of me? You didn’t pass the try-outs because of me?” he whispered, anguished.

Liam pressed his lips together, trembling slightly. Zayn was looking at him expectantly, his pretty eyes shiny with unshed tears. Liam licked his lips, not knowing how to tell him.

“I― It was― I had an anxiety crisis that day. It was my first real anxiety crisis and I was in no condition to pass the try-outs the next day,” Liam said.

“You had an anxiety crisis that day,” Zayn whispered, horrified. “Your first. Was it because I said shit about you?” There was a knot in his throat, his heart beating fast.

Liam sniffed and shrugged. “I had spent a whole year without seeing you and without any imprints showing up. I thought you had forgot me. And then, I appeared on TV and you remembered me, I guess. I was shocked.” He didn’t want to say he was hoping Zayn would like seeing him on TV, but what had happened was the contrary. “I think it was the shock and the stress that made me react that way.”

“The shock?” Zayn gasped, letting Liam’s hands go. “It wasn’t any shock, Liam. You’re a fireman. You know how to deal with shocking situations,” Zayn said.

“I wasn’t a fireman at the time,” Liam mumbled.

“It doesn’t matter! You had it in you, the ability to deal with stressing situations. You had an anxiety crisis because it was me. Shit. I ruined one of the most important days of your life. Fucking hell.” Zayn put his elbows on his thighs and held his head with both hands. “Fuck… I’m so sorry. Sorry doesn’t even come close to how guilty I feel right now. And it doesn’t come even close to how bad you felt. Shit, shit, shit!”

Liam kept quiet, silent tears sliding down his face. Zayn was crying too, wiping his eyes from time to time, cursing in whispers.

“And then, the next year I said I hated you,” Zayn whispered, his head bowed in his hands, his eyes closed, ashamed. “Fucking hell. How did you deal with all this crap without going insane?” he asked, but wasn’t expecting an answer.

“I go to a counsellor since I changed schools,” Liam said.

Zayn nodded. _It makes sense._ He thought. _I made my soulmate go into an anxiety crisis._ ”Fuck… I dunno how you can look at my face,” he mumbled.

“Because you’re my soulmate,” Liam whispered.

“In other words, you don’t have a choice,” Zayn said, sniffing.

“You don’t have any choice either,” Liam said, sadly.

“I don’t need to have any choice. You’re perfect,” Zayn said, raising his head.

“I’m not. You’re just feeling guilty,” Liam said, sadly. They weren’t perfect, but while Zayn felt that way, they wouldn’t be able to work things out. Liam had already noticed that Zayn tended to do anything he wanted to compensate for his mistakes, and that wasn’t good in the long run.

“I _am_ guilty, Liam. That’s why I’m feeling guilty,” Zayn said, wiping the tears on his face roughly. “Did you keep having an anxiety crisis after that?” he asked, noticing Liam had said that it was his first anxiety crisis.

“Not frequently, no,” Liam answered.

“You had them in which frequency?”

“I had only one more,” Liam said.

“And when was that?” Zayn asked, with a dark suspicion in his mind.

Liam sighed quietly. He rubbed his face with his hands, his mind troubled. He knew Zayn was suspecting correctly. Zayn was waiting for Liam’s answer with bated breath.

“It was the day you said you hate me, yeah,” Liam said, sounding terribly sad, without looking up.

“You should have a choice to pick someone better than me,” Zayn blurted, with his voice trembling.

“You’re the right person for me, Zayn. That’s why we’re soulmates,” Liam said, touching his arms. Zayn was shaking his head, not accepting that he could be considered any good for Liam. “You have changed, you said it yourself. Even though you hurt me so much, I don’t want anyone but you.” Liam pulled Zayn to his lap, breathing a relieved puff of air when he went willingly. “We’re gonna work this out, babe. Me and you, together.”

It took some time for Zayn to calm down, but eventually he napped in Liam’s arms. He still felt guilty, but Liam knew they were taking the steps in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy with the response this fic is getting! You guys can't imagine how every comment and kudo makes me happy! Thank you. xx


	4. My love and devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter! This was a roller coaster, wow!  
> Thank you, Mayne Girl, for letting me play with your prompt!  
> I owe this little monster to my sweet Sabirah, who edited the fic and was awesome all around; and to Ella and Lud, two goddesses who cheered me up all the way!  
> I'm sorry for making you guys wait a month. Your comments and kudos made all the work I had writing this fic worth it. Thank you!  
> See you! xx

Zayn was feeling awful when he woke up from his nap. Not even Liam’s arms around him made him feel good, because he felt like he didn’t deserve his love. When he realized how much damage he did without noticing, he wished he had the strength to flinch away from Liam’s touch, but he collapsed over him. Now he couldn’t let him go. His hand was clutching Liam’s t-shirt in a vice-like grip, trembling with the force of it.

“Babe,” Liam said, softly, noticing Zayn tense in his arms, a clear sign he was awake. “Are you okay?” he asked, but he knew Zayn wasn’t well.

“Not really, no,” he answered, hiding his face on Liam’s chest. “I’ve almost ruined your life,” he whispered, anguished with guilt.

“No,” Liam said, firmly. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“Not because of me,” he mumbled bitterly. “If there’s nothing completely ruined, that's solely because of you. You’re brave enough to fight for yourself, for your sanity.” Zayn’s voice was cracking.

Liam sighed, tightening his hold around Zayn, but he didn’t deny it.

“I didn’t want to have this conversation with you, because I feared what you would tell me. At first, I believed you thought I was lame―.”

“You weren’t lame,” Zayn cut him off, fiercely. “You were a target, because you were alone and vulnerable. You weren’t lame. And I never thought you were. Never.” Zayn had to make sure Liam knew that and believed it.

“Okay,” Liam conceded. “But, even if you thought it, I’d understand you. Like, I was bullied, I didn’t look good―”

“You looked good!” Zayn interfered, again. “You were always cute.”

“Well, I didn’t have any reason to think I was cute,” Liam said. He was calm about that now. He had overcome it a few years ago. It wasn’t something that hurt him anymore. Now he knew that even if he was lame or ugly, he didn’t deserve to be bullied. No one deserves to be bullied. Ever. “Well. The fact is that I believed that every imprint was what you thought about me. I decided I would change the way you saw me after the first imprint. I started to work out, I tried the cross country team… But then, Percy discovered it. I couldn’t stand that place anymore, so I quit trying to make you like me and begged my parents to get me out of there. That was the best thing I could have done, to be honest. At the new school I met Niall and he was my friend since the start. He helped me a lot.” Liam smiled softly, remembering.

“When the try-outs for the Olympics came and the ‘try-hard’ imprint appeared,” Zayn flinched when he heard that. “I still thought you saw me as some pathetic kid.” Zayn could sense the hurt in Liam’s voice - hurt _he_ put there, and it was killing him. “And then, when we saw each other after two years, you said you hated me. And I didn’t even know what I did for you to hate me.” Liam swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. Zayn was motionless, dreading what Liam would tell him next. “Like, how did the despise turn into hate in one day? Was it a building thing that you only expressed that day? Or was it because we won the game? Did I say something that pissed you off at that interview? And now, you tell me you never thought I was lame…” He shook his head, trying to picture everything in his mind. “But I get why you did all of that. You were trying to protect yourself. I don’t think you were right, far from that, but I get you.”

Zayn closed his eyes, ashamed. Liam was so kind. He was hurt, but was saying that he understood Zayn.

“I wasn’t trying to protect myself that day when―” Zayn stopped his whisper, he simply couldn’t finish the sentence with what he had said that day. But Liam had the right to know the truth. Liam was frowning, but he kept cuddling Zayn, thinking he needed the support. “That day, my dad came to talk to me at night, after the game. He was so impressed with you, you know? And I was trying to find your social medias… I got frustrated when I couldn’t find anything, I thought you had all the people from my school blocked, and I was pissed. So. My dad said a lot of good things about you. He said you were a strong soul, and that’s what you are, you turned something awful that happened to you into your strength and-. I got jealous. So jealous… It’s so ridiculous, but it’s the truth.

“I always wanted to make my dad proud, but I never could accompany him in anything he likes to do. I’m no good at sports, I watch some soccer, but I never felt the same passion that he feels… I prefer to stay reading than watching sports. I’m even worse at practicing them. After he went to work at the school, he could see my failure at sports everyday. He was a sports coach, and I was the artsy, skinny kid who never could be good at sports. He never said  anything about it, but his friends used to make jokes about it.” Zayn took a deep breath. He was victimizing himself, when the victim in this situation was Liam. _I’m really awful_.

“I’m no strong soul,” Zayn mumbled. Liam was completely quiet, listening to him, not moving a muscle. “I accepted Louis, Ant and Danny being dicks wherever, just so they would let me be their friend. I said those things about you and about other people for the same reason. And, that day, I got angry, because you were so hot and I thought you blocked me… And you were so good at sports, and so strong, showing proudly the crap I said about you, making people notice how stupid your soulmate was for telling those things about you. My dad was proud of you, in a way I could never make him proud. I was such a brat, _jesus_.” Zayn sniffed, swallowing hard. It was so rough to confess his mistakes to Liam. Strong, brave, sweet Liam.

“So you said you hated me?” Liam asked stiffly.

“It was like…” Zayn licked his lips. He felt so bad. _God._ “You know when something happens that you don’t want to and you say you hate it just because, but you don’t hate it for real?” he said, instead.

“You said you hated me because you were annoyed with me?” Liam asked, sounding incredulous, his arms were lax around Zayn.

“No. I said that because you always were better than me and I was angry because I was jealous and couldn’t compete. In other words, I was plain stupid,” Zayn confessed.

“I can’t believe it…” Liam mumbled in a rush of air, clearly deflating.

“It’s the truth. I’m so sorry, Liam. Please. Forgive me,” Zayn clutched Liam’s t-shirt more tightly, pushing his face on Liam’s chest, ashamed. He couldn’t look Liam in the eyes. “I’ve changed. I promise.” He trembled.

“Fuck,” Liam ruffed.

“I understand if you can’t forgive me now. Just. Please, Liam, don’t push me away. I love you so much. I need you so much,” Zayn begged.

“You can’t imagine―” Liam started to speak, but stopped, his chest heaving.

“Tell me,” Zayn whispered, forcing himself to raise his head to look at Liam. He was ashamed, he feared the answer, but he had to know. It was his responsibility. It was his mistakes that hurt his soulmate.

Liam couldn’t believe that Zayn had said all of those awful things that got imprinted on his skin without really meaning any of them. It would be bad to know that Zayn really thought those things about him, but knowing that he did that out of weakness was disappointing all the same. And shocking.

Now he was looking at Liam with his pretty eyes wide open and eager, wet with unshed tears and still red from the previous ones. He didn’t want to rub it in, but he was _so_ frustrated. Liam was conflicted with his instincts to protect his soulmate, and his hurt that wanted to make him know exactly how much damage he did.

“When we saw each other at that fire last month, I went to sleep with my parents,” Liam started to say. His voice was empty. He had to distance himself from what he was telling, because it was too painful. It was _still_ too painful. “And when I say that I went to sleep with them, I mean that I went to sleep _with them_ , on their bed. All because I saw you that night.” Zayn pressed his trembling lips together, his eyes brimming with tears. “Because, when I had last seen you at the rugby game, you were polite enough, but when I got home you said you hated me.” Zayn flinched, but kept looking at Liam, staring at his eyes that were usually so full of life and now were empty. “I was expecting something like that again.” A tear slipped from Zayn’s eye. “And I went back to my parents’, because when you said you hated me I had an anxiety crisis so violent that my parents had to pick me up from the floor in the morning, because I went into a catatonic state and couldn’t call for help.”

Zayn’s mouth was ajar, in shock. He couldn’t pull air into his lungs, and his eyes bulged slightly.

“Zayn?” Liam called, worried by Zayn’s reaction, touching his neck to feel his pulse.

When Liam’s hand touched his skin, Zayn snapped out of his shock, pulling a ragged, gasping breath of air. He pushed Liam’s hands off and rolled from the bed, falling on the floor. _No. No no no no no._ He scrambled up putting his shoes awkwardly with trembling limbs.

“Zayn, stop,” Liam said, jumping from the bed and holding his wrist.

“No. Let me.” Zayn sniffed, pulling his wrist from Liam’s hand.

“Where are you going?” Liam asked, trying to hold him again.

Zayn just shook his head, tears sliding down his face. “I just have to―” He sobbed, wiping at his face. “Shit. I’ll see you later.”  And he turned to the door.

“No, I won’t let you go in this state,” Liam said, holding Zayn’s arms firmly.

“Liam, please,” Zayn said, trying to get free, but not wanting to be rude to Liam.

“No way. Look at me,” Liam demanded, and Zayn looked at his eyes instinctively. “I’m _not_ letting you go,” his tone was sure, and he pulled Zayn into his arms.

Zayn let Liam hug him rigidly, his arms lax by his sides, trembling, feeling like everything he knew about himself was a lie. _Dad was right. That’s why we still have our imprints. That’s why they’re still appearing, even after we found each other. It’s because I damaged our bond._

An ugly sob ripped Zayn’s chest, making him bend forwards, but Liam was there, holding him up. _I did this to my soulmate. I made him believe I thought he was lame, ugly, pathetic… That I hated him. All because I was a stupid, coward person._ “Oh, god. What have I done?”

Liam pulled Zayn’s head, tucking his face in his neck. “You fucked up, love. Fucked up big time. Now, we’re gonna make it better.”

“How can you look at my face? God,” Zayn choked out, his voice sounding wrong to his own ears.

Liam looked at the wall, his eyes unfocused, blurred by tears. He blinked and the tears fell. Zayn was sobbing in his arms, taking gasping breaths that did little to relieve the pain in his chest.

“I can look at your face not because I love you,” Liam said, his voice raspy with emotion. “I loved you since the first time I saw you, but I chose to spend five years apart from you. I kept my distance, because you were hurting me and I didn’t know how to make it stop. I can look at you now, because you changed. When the nice imprints appeared, I was shocked, but I would look for you once the shock faded. I’d find a way to contact you again, to approach you… I wouldn’t allow you close to me if I thought you had bad intentions, believe me.” Zayn was listening to him quietly, sobbing softly with his face tucked in Liam’s neck. “I was just― Surprised, I guess, when you showed up here out of the blue.”

“How could you― How could you say those things about me” Zayn raised his hands “when I was so awful to you?”

“I didn’t want to make it worse, Zayn. I was hurting, but I loved you all the same. I’ve learnt ways to cope…” Liam sighed. “It wasn’t easy. And it won’t _be_ easy. But it’s possible to make it better. Don’t stop believing. And don’t run away when it gets hard.”

It took awhile for Zayn to calm down, but once his body stopped jerking with his sobs, Liam leaned back to look at his face.

“My counsellor suggested for us to do couple therapy,” he said.

Zayn sniffed, his face blotched, his pretty eyes red and swollen from crying so much. “I’ll do anything you want,” he said.

“It can’t be that way, Zayn. You have to want to do it for it to work,” Liam said, softly. He had stopped crying, but was feeling raw with emotions. Although, that didn’t make him less reasonable. “That thing of ‘anything I want’ is no good. It has to be what _we both_ want.”

“I’ll try,” Zayn whispered, nodding.

Liam was right, obviously, but Zayn couldn’t see how he would not want to do anything and everything in his powers to satisfy him and make him happy. He felt a deep need to compensate for everything he did wrong, and the only way he knew how to do that was accepting what Liam wanted.

“Do you wanna do couple therapy?” Liam asked.

Zayn’s first instinct was to say yes, but he stopped himself to actually think about it. He probably would have to talk about what was bothering - and hurting - him to a complete stranger. It would be too exposing for someone who liked to keep to himself like him. But then, Liam goes to a counsellor as well, and it helped him to deal with all the crap that Zayn threw his way.

“I do,” he said, finally. “I wanna make this work.”

Liam smiled, happy because it seemed like Zayn had thought a bit about it before accepting this time. “Good. I’ll ask my counsellor to recommend one for us.”

 

\--

 

When Liam left him at his home, Zayn was feeling more collected. Liam’s company did wonders to keep his mind from spiraling into a darker place. His mom went to check up on him and got worried when she saw his puffy eyes and saddened behavior. He was so different from the previous day, when he came home glowing.

“What happened, baby?” she asked, sitting by his side on his bed.

Zayn looked at her, his eyes filling with tears again, and he told her everything he and Liam had talked about.

“If it wasn’t for me, Liam could be an Olympic athlete. I ruined his chances of joining the Olympics just because I was a coward,” he said, head bowed with shame. “I ruined his first soulmate imprint, then kept ruining his life until I went so far that _I_ realized I shouldn’t say those kind of things about him. But it was too late.”

“It wasn’t too late, love. You did wrong, now you have to do it right,” she said, comfortingly.

“I can’t see how I’ll be able to deserve him,” Zayn said, sounding defeated.

“Oh, my love. You’re not a bad person, and you didn’t do anything with the purpose to hurt him. Even if you don’t believe you’re any good right now, you’re a lovely boy; kind, sweet and hard working. You were young and stupid when you said those things. I’m sure Liam can see that you’re not like that anymore,” Tricia said.

“Even if he doesn’t see that, he doesn’t have a choice, has he? I’m his soulmate, he can’t avoid that,” Zayn sounded bitter. “The worst part is this.” And he showed his hands to his mother. “This makes me even more ashamed, because while I showed off my imprints, he had to hide his to be accepted into the Fire Department.”

“Baby, you’re looking at it from the wrong angle,” she said, softly. “You think you have to deserve him, that to have him in your life, you must have been as great to him as he was to you. It doesn’t work that way. You have to accept that _he_ wants you in his life. And while you beat yourself up that way, you keep _him_ from being happy as well. Life’s not a task in which you have to take steps in a predetermined way for the final result to be good. Be humble, my love. Accept the blessing that’s been given to you, even if you think you don’t deserve him. Be thankful.”

\--

 

When Liam got home after leaving Zayn, Niall and Harry were awaiting his arrival.

“Well, that was intense,” Harry said, getting up from the couch and hugging him.

“You listened to it all?” Liam asked, less annoyed than he thought he would be.

“We did,” Niall said, hugging him from behind. “I’m glad he feels bad.”

“Niall!” Harry reprimanded, sounding scandalized.

“What? It’s the truth. If he was all fine and dandy I would hit his head on the wall because god knows Liam wouldn’t,” Niall mumbled.

“You two are awful,” Liam said, shaking his head, but grateful for his friends.

“At least we know he was less of a dick than he seemed,” Niall said.

“That’s true,” Harry agreed.

Liam shook his head, annoyed and unwillingly amused, and broke the hug to go to the kitchen. Niall and Harry followed him.

“I’m still processing everything he told me. Dunno what to think about a lot of things yet,” Liam admitted, starting to make some coffee.

“You sounded very reassuring, anyway,” Harry said.

“Yeah, I― I don’t like to see him hurting,” Liam said, looking at the coffee machine.

“By what we heard, he doesn’t like to see you suffer either,” Harry added.

“Yeah. Just.” Liam rubbed his nose, frustrated. “I mean, I was fucked up for such a long time, and he didn’t mean any of that. It’s so…”

“What? Would you prefer that he did mean all of that shit?” Niall said, pointing to Liam’s hands. “C’mon, Payno. I get that you’re feeling kinda like you suffered in vain, but let’s agree that him hating you for real would be way worse, yeah?”

And yeah. Niall was right.

 

\--

 

The next day, when Zayn came back from Uni, Doniya greeted him at home with a hard punch to his shoulder.

“What the fuck?! What was _that_ for?” he asked, rubbing his shoulder.

“That was for all the crap you did to Roo’s brother, you little shit,” she said sharply, and he flinched.

“I’m so s―” he was cut off by her, pulling him into a hug.

“And this is my congratulations,” she said, squeezing him. “Now fix it.” She kissed his cheek and stormed into her bedroom.

Zayn shook his head, looking at the space she vacated when she left.

“Okay, then,” he mumbled, and went to his bedroom.

 

\--

 

The first meeting with the couple therapist happened the next week. It was rough. Zayn didn’t open up initially, and he left with a sour taste in his mouth. He felt like he had disappointed Liam - _again_ . At least Liam looked like he was satisfied with the meeting. Zayn didn’t understand why, but he was practicing his mom’s advice: accept the blessing and be thankful. Fuck, he _was_ thankful. _So_ thankful for having Liam with him.

On his side, Liam was happy that Zayn accepted the couple therapy. It was difficult to open up at the first meeting, and he knew that. Zayn did really well, and he told him so after noticing he didn’t realize that. Zayn smiled such a pretty, relieved smile, that Liam had to smother it with a kiss.

After the talk when they shared their sides of the story, things seemed to clear between them. It wasn’t perfect, of course it wasn’t, but Liam was more open towards Zayn, more relaxed and trusting. That translated in him being more affectionate and attentive, meeting in the middle when Zayn reached for him - which was constantly. Zayn couldn’t believe his luck.

The weeks passed fast, every couple therapy meeting getting easier than the previous one. They addressed the issue of their bond being damaged, and the therapist told them that there was degrees of damage in a soulmate’s bond. Their bond was bruised, but not severely damaged, which made Zayn feel deeply relieved. The fact that they looked for help in the early stages of their relationship made a big difference. A lot of couples only looked for help when the bond was already severely damaged, almost breaking.

Zayn still thought he didn’t deserve Liam, but he was learning to forgive himself too. He realized that it was more difficult than forgiving other people.

That day, they were in another picnic at the same park of their first date, after seven weeks of couple therapy. Liam was laid down with Zayn by his side, his head on his chest.

“Babe,” Zayn mumbled. “Can I post a picture of you on my social media?” he asked, softly. it was the first time he touched on the subject after Liam asked him not to post their picture. They had accumulated a lot of pictures on both of their phones since then, but they were kept private.

Liam frowned a bit and Zayn deflated. When Liam didn’t say no straight away, Zayn perked up again.

“Which picture?” Liam asked, cautiously.

“Any, really. I just to want show off my hot soulmate.” Zayn grinned, squeezing Liam in his arms and kissing his chest.

“Don’t be silly.” Liam pinched him, giggling.

“It’s the truth!” Zayn laughed, leaning back and away from Liam’s pinching fingers.

“Okay, then. Go ahead,” Liam agreed, still sounding cautious.

“Great!” Zayn pulled his phone and started to browse through his pictures of Liam.

“You’re not thinking of posting one of me alone, are you?” Liam asked.

“Actually, I was,” Zayn said, pausing his search to look at Liam, and frowning a bit.

“No, babe. Post one of us together,” Liam asked.

“Okay.” Zayn shrugged, and looked for a picture of them both. “How about this one?” he showed the picture to Liam. It was a picture taken by Harry, a spontaneous snap, and a very telling one: Zayn looking at Liam, smiling fondly, while Liam chatted with Niall.

“Hm. I guess this is good,” Liam said, nodding. He was a bit nervous, wondering what the reaction of Zayn’s followers would be.

Zayn had told Ant and Danny about Liam two weeks after they started dating. Liam did the same with Andy and Maz, but a week later. He was worried about the other people that followed Zayn that weren’t his friends. Zayn had a lot of followers and his social media wasn’t locked on private, so anyone could jump in. Even though he had blocked Percy a long time ago, Liam knew he followed Zayn. He wasn’t sure how many more people from their school days followed him as well. Liam had learnt how to deal with the bullying, but he didn’t know how Zayn would deal with it if someone left a nasty comment.

“I won’t tag your profile, ‘cause I don’t want people bothering you asking to follow you,” Zayn said, tapping on his phone.

“Thanks, babe,” Liam said. He was sure a lot of people would ask to follow him, interested in knowing who Zayn’s soulmate is.

Zayn posted the picture with the caption ”I couldn’t stop looking at the sun. Love you. xx” and sent the link to Liam.

“Done,” Zayn smiled, looking at his phone with a soft smile, the notifications popping on the screen. He locked it and put in his pocket again. “Thanks, babe.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” Liam said, kissing Zayn’s forehead.

They stayed at the park for some time, chatting and kissing softly. Zayn was enjoying Liam’s company and the park was really nice, but he wanted to climb on Liam’s lap to kiss him deep and passionately, and this wasn’t the best place for that.

“Babe,” Zayn said, softly, brushing his lips on Liam’s. “Is Niall at home?”

“No, he isn’t,” Liam said, rubbing Zayn’s face softly.

“Let’s go to yours, then?”

“Let’s go.” Liam smiled and kissed him, already knowing why Zayn wanted to go to his flat.

He wouldn’t deny that he wanted to go to a private place too. They hadn’t had sex yet, and it was Liam’s fault, really. He hadn’t wanted to take that step while their relationship was still taking form. He was so cautious about everything, and he thought Zayn was getting impatient.

The truth was that Zayn wasn’t getting impatient, exactly. He just wanted Liam so much, it was impossible to hide. Of course he understood him. He knew they should take it slow, but two months was enough, wasn’t it? But, even if he was climbing the walls with desire, he would never force Liam into anything.

It was a progressive thing, though. Their make out sessions were getting hotter and hotter as the time passed. Zayn touched almost all of Liam’s body, but with a layer of clothes between them. He wanted to feel Liam’s skin, to taste him, bite him and scratch him and fuck until he got weak in the knees. But he had to settle for sucking lovebites on his birthmark - which was a permanent shade of purple these days.

The thing was, every time his hands slipped closer to Liam’s dick, he felt him tense under his fingertips, so Zayn changed the course of his touch. They hadn’t spoken about it yet, and Zayn didn’t know if they should talk about it at _all_ , but he was determined to touch the subject today. At least, Zayn knew Liam wanted him. He couldn’t mistake the bulge in his pants when they were making out for anything else.

As soon as Liam closed his flat’s door, Zayn was all over him. He held Liam’s head with both hands and clashed their lips together in a hungry kiss, his tongue pushing inside Liam’s mouth as soon as his plush lips parted. Liam sucked on his tongue hungrily, pulling Zayn up by his waist, raising him from the floor and walking to the bedroom. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s hips, a shock of desire burning him from his toes to his head in a rush.

“Fuck, you’re so strong,” Zayn gasped over Liam’s mouth, biting his lower lip and pulling it, making Liam groan lowly in his throat. Liam licked inside his mouth, and Zayn wrapped his lips around his tongue, swirling his own tongue over it, sucking in soft pulls that increased in strength until he felt Liam’s cock twitch.

Liam took them to his bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him. He sat on his bed with Zayn on his lap, not breaking the desperate kiss. Zayn fisted a handful of Liam’s t-shirt and moaned when their cocks pressed with the layers of cloth between them.

“Babe,” Zayn breathed, cupping Liam’s jaw. “Can I touch you?”

Liam took a gasping breath, because he wasn’t expecting Zayn to ask for it so bluntly.

“You mean― touch me, as in like, jerk me off?” he asked, feeling his face heat even more.

Zayn smirked, licking his lips. “Well, that too, yeah. But I was thinking more of you taking off your clothes and letting me touch you all over,” he said, approaching their faces and licking Liam’s lips slowly. He felt a trembling breath leave Liam’s lips and he bit his lower lip softly. “Let me, please?”

“How can I say no when you're asking so nicely?” Liam said, trying to joke, but the humour was lost on the breathless quality of his voice.

“Yeah?” Zayn actually sounded surprised by Liam’s answer, but he didn’t wait for a confirmation. He held the hem of Liam’s t-shirt and took it off, discarding it behind him, somewhere on the bed. “Fuck,” he mumbled, looking at Liam’s bare chest. _So hot._

Zayn put both his hands on Liam’s chest, his fingers digging into the hard muscle that he only saw completely in pictures before. He leaned down and licked his collarbone, biting his shoulder when he got there, sucking a mark on it. His nails were pressed on Liam’s skin where he was clawing at his chest. He let go of Liam’s chest to touch his abs, the muscle flexing under his fingers. He _had_ to lick that. Zayn got off of Liam’s lap to kneel on the floor, pulling his legs apart and fitting himself between them.

“Shit, babe,” Liam gasped, fisting Zayn’s hair when he licked his abs hungrly. Zayn moaned and latched onto a ridge of his muscle, sucking sharply, his teeth pressing onto the skin to leave a bruise.

Liam pulled Zayn’s t-shirt off hurriedly, throwing it away. He held Zayn’s face and kissed him roughly, biting his lips and wrapping his legs around him, pulling him closer. Zayn’s hands mapped Liam’s back and chest, digging his fingers in and making Liam gasp and groan into the kiss. Liam hands were roaming Zayn’s back too, digging his nails on soft golden skin and squeezing Zayn’s bum, pulling them even closer together. Zayn pinched Liam’s nipples, pulling at them and feeling his cock twitch, trapped in his pants.

Zayn broke the kiss and leaned back a bit, just enough to see Liam’s crotch, the bulge of his hard dick, big and thick, tucked to the left, begging for attention. The view made his own dick twitch in his pants, painfully hard. Zayn rubbed and squeezed the length of Liam’s cock firmly, the fabric of his pants doing nothing to hide how it spasmed with the touch. Zayn licked his lips and bit the lower one, looking up at Liam through his eyelashes while he kept rubbing his cock.

“Can I take your pants off, love?” he asked, his voice thick with arousal.

“Yes,” was the breathless answer, and Zayn didn’t waste any time. He pulled Liam’s shoes and socks off, going to his pants quickly after.

Zayn popped the button and lowered the zipper with his heart beating in his throat. He was going to see Liam naked, and his brain was short circuiting before he even had a glimpse of his cock. He licked his lips and pulled the pants down, Liam raising his hips to help. Once the pants were off, Zayn took a look at Liam’s legs, soft hair covering hard muscle. He touched Liam’s knees and slid his hands up his thighs, his eyes glued on the shift of toned muscle.

Zayn moaned softly when his eyes fell on Liam’s crotch. He was wearing white boxers, the fabric darker at the tip of his cock, wet with precum. Zayn didn’t think, he just leaned forward and covered Liam’s dick with his mouth, moaning when he felt the taste of his precum through his boxers.

“Fuck! Zayn…” Liam gasped, shocked by Zayn’s action. He fisted Zayn hair, to tether himself to something, his heart hammering in his chest and a wave of pleasure engulfing him.

Zayn moaned when Liam grabbed his hair, the gush of air over the wet fabric bringing new sensations over Liam’s hardened flesh. Zayn mouthed at his cock hungrily, rubbing his balls and thigh, lost in his haze of lust and desire. With a last lick over the head of Liam’s cock, he raised his head and grabbed the waistband of Liam’s boxers, pulling them down.

They both hissed when Liam’s cock slapped onto his belly. “Fuck,” Zayn breathed, reaching for it with both his hands. He circled Liam’s dick with a hand, the other cupped his balls, squeezing and pulling softly, making him choke a moan. Zayn looked up at the sound, facing Liam’s flushed face and wide eyes, his pupils dilated, leaving only thin rings of brown around them.

Liam touched Zayn mouth with trembling fingers, and Zayn wrapped his lips around his index and middle fingers, sucking with an obscene look in his eyes.

“Shit,” Liam took his fingers from Zayn’s mouth, held his chin and leaned down to give him a quick, hard kiss. “You look filthy, babe,” he mumbled against Zayn’s lips.

“Do I?” Zayn asked, sounding pleased with himself.

“You do. I love it.” He gave a last, biting kiss, and let Zayn’s face go.

Zayn licked his lips looking Liam up and down, his hands wrapped around his cock, squeezing and tugging slowly, getting used to the feeling of another cock in his hands that wasn’t his own. He pulled the foreskin down, and rubbed softly at the ridge of the head with his thumb. He closed his fist around the head and pulled at his cock quick and firm, squeezing at the tip, listening to the soft moans Liam breathed continuously.

Zayn moaned, biting his lower lip, when the sounds of his hand jerking Liam’s dick turned into wet slapping sounds. He leaned down and licked at the head, collecting all the precum that was pooling there with a groan. Liam’s back arched and he fell backwards, hitting the bed with a grunt.

Zayn held Liam’s dick by the base, and wrapped his mouth around the head, sucking hungrily. Liam’s cock was so thick in his mouth, twitching every time he hollowed his cheeks sucking hard. It tasted so good, it felt delicious, soft skin covering rigid muscle, the smell was so enticing... Zayn was so hard from pleasuring Liam, that he could come just with that.

He sucked Liam’s dick hard and slow, releasing it with a loud pop, and bended lower to lick his balls and suck at them. He was in a frenzy, wanting to taste everything.

“Babe…” Liam moaned, lost in pleasure, pulling Zayn’s hair softly and scratching at what he could reach, his shoulders, his nape, his arms… His cock was dribbling precum on his belly, close to coming. Zayn just needed to give it a bit more attention.

Noticing that, Zayn let go of Liam’s cock and turned to his thighs, teasing. He kissed and bit the inside of Liam’s thighs, rubbing his beard on them, feeling his legs tremble under his attention.

The teasing only intensified the overwhelming sensation burning Liam from the inside out, making him moan shamelessly. Zayn got crazy listening to Liam moaning that way. He bit and rubbed his beard roughly on his thighs once more and leaned up to ravish Liam’s mouth.

Only then Liam realized that Zayn was still in his pants.

“Take it off,” he demanded, pulling at the waistband, scrambling for the button. Zayn leaned back to get his pants off, and Liam followed him up. Zayn fought with the button and zipper until he opened it. Liam was there with him, his hands sliding to Zayn’s bum to help push his pants and boxers down. As soon as Liam felt the skin of Zayn’s bum, he squeezed and pulled him in, crashing their lips together. Zayn was still trying to push his pants down, but when he felt Liam’s cock on his, he lost the ability to care about anything that wasn’t Liam.

Liam rolled his hips and pulled Zayn by his bum, making their cocks rub in the best of ways, sending a jolt of pleasure through them both. When Liam rolled his hips again, Zayn rolled his too and broke the kiss, pulling a gasping breath. His hands were fisted in Liam’s hair, feeling so much pleasure that his body was tingling with it. On the next pull, Liam slid a hand between Zayn’s cheeks, sending a shiver through his body. He slid his hand lower, teasing a finger at Zayn’s rim, crushing their cocks together once more and pressing at it. The tingling in Zayn’s body turned into an explosion and he came hard, pulling Liam’s hair roughly and groaning in the waves of pleasure.

“Fuck, Zayn…” Liam gasped when he felt the hard pull at his hair and heard Zayn’s broken sound. While his body spasmed in his arms, wet and hot come spread on their cocks and bellies in a delicious mess. “Shit, babe.” An intense shiver rocked Liam’s body and he rolled his hips twice more, before he was blinded by his orgasm.

“Oh my god, that was so good,” Zayn gasped after some moments, still overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure. He was weirdly not bothered by his belly and chest sticky with come, happy to be there, kneeling on the floor, blissed out and wrapped around Liam.

Liam couldn’t talk yet, so he just nodded, kissing Zayn’s neck softly. He leaned back and picked his t-shirt up, cleaning them both with it. He pulled Zayn onto the bed, and helped him take his shoes and pants completely off, laying down on the bed bonelessly.

“Fuck…” Zayn was breathless. “Why didn’t we do that before, again?”

“Actually, it was because I was dumb.” Liam giggled, his chest heaving as much as Zayn’s.

Zayn giggled too and rolled over, putting his leg over Liam and his head on his chest. “Not dumb, babe. Cautious,” he said, smiling.

Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn, sighing happily. “I’m glad you asked for it, though. I doubt I would take the first step.”

Zayn raised his head to look at Liam, smirking. “So, I only had to ask?”

“Apparently, yeah.” Liam chuckled softly, caressing Zayn’s beard, remembering the feeling of it on his thighs. “Although, not that I’m complaining, but, weren’t you supposed to just touch me?” he joked.

“But I _did,_ babe. Touched you with my hands and my mouth,” Zayn said, licking his lips, looking at Liam’s mouth. “Can we do it again?” he asked, with a look that made Liam’s insides lurch from the amount of desire in his gaze. He had came a few minutes ago, but his cock twiched, already interested.

“No! No, you can’t!” Niall yelled from the living room. “Not until you learn to fuck in silence, you cunts!” He had arrived ten minutes ago, which was enough to hear way too much.

“Oh my god!” Liam covered his face, embarrassed, and Zayn rolled around on the bed from laughter, not even a bit ashamed.

 

\--

 

Later that day, Liam had woken up after a nap with Zayn wrapped around him. He wasn’t sleepy anymore, so he decided to pick up his phone and browse through his social medias. He was distracted when Zayn woke up from his nap and kissed his chest.

“Whatcha doin’, babe?” he asked, his voice deep with sleep.

“Just looking at some pictures,” Liam answered.

“Oh, about that, let me see the comments on our picture,” Zayn said, rolling to the side to pick up his phone.

After Zayn mentioned it, Liam got interested too and went there to take a look at it. There were a lot of comments, and Liam took a more close look at them. He was smiling a bit with some of the comments, when he saw one made by Niall:

“i’m gonna break all your fucking fingers so you cant say shit on people’s pics, you disgrace”. Liam frowned and looked at Zayn, noticing that he was frowning too, his lips pressed in a thin line, tapping at his phone.

“What was that about Niall’s comment, babe?” Liam asked.

“He was replying to another comment,” Zayn said.

“I realized that, thank you.” Liam poked him, trying for humor, because Zayn’s expression was worrying him. He flinched away from his fingers, but didn’t say anything. “Zayn?”

Zayn sighed and looked at Liam. “Percy decided that it wasn’t enough be a dick at school, and left a disgusting comment.” He wouldn’t tell Liam the content of the comment. It wasn’t the truth and didn’t deserve to be repeated. Fortunately, Liam didn’t ask.

“And you’re answering it?” Liam asked, instead, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah, of course I am,” Zayn confirmed.

“It’s not worth it, babe,” Liam said. “Delete his comment and block him. It'll be more effective.”

Zayn wanted to roast Percy’s ass, but Liam was right. He deleted the comment he was making and deleted Percy’s as well.

“Delete Niall’s comment too, or it will look like he’s yelling at you,” Liam said, chuckling.

“Okay. I’ll tell him later,” Zayn said, deleting Niall comment.

“Don’t worry about it, babe. It doesn’t affect me anymore. I kicked Percy’s ass when I left the school. That’s why he still holds a grudge,” Liam said.

“No shit! Really?” Zayn perked up at that.

“Yeah. I had started boxing at the time, and I got him alone. He wanted to beat me up, but I kicked his ass to the ground. He tried to beat me up at the rugby game, him and two more, looking for revenge, I guess. Fortunately, your dad came and stopped them.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s true,” Zayn said, carefully, not wanting to talk about that day anymore, the day he said he hated Liam. “I’m glad you don’t care anymore.”

“Yeah. It’s in the past.” Liam shrugged.

Zayn nodded, still angry at Percy, when he thought that he could make a fake profile to cyberbully them. “I’ll turn my account private too,” he said. “I don’t want these people bothering us.”

“It’s your decision, babe. I don’t mind,” Liam assured him, but Zayn didn’t want to take the risk. He picked his phone up again and turned all his social media accounts to private.

 

\--

 

The next weekend, they went out with their friends. That would be the first time they would hang out with Zayn’s and Liam’s friends together at the same place. At first, Andy and Niall were a bit reluctant to befriend Zayn’s friends. They knew they were part of the reason Zayn did what he did, but Harry and Maz pushed them to go.

“They’re not kids anymore,” Maz said. "It’s not like you never said shit about anyone. If they’re still dicks, we’ll go away and they can fuck themselves.” And it was enough to make them accept going to a pub with Zayn’s friends.

They chose an Irish pub that Niall was fond of and sat at a table in front of the TV. If they didn’t get along, they would have the TV to distract themselves.

After the introductions, Niall got up to pick up the first round of beers.

“I’ll help you, Nialler,” Harry said, getting up.

“No, thank you, mate. I don’t wanna pay for the glass you’re bound to break,” Niall said, laughing.

“Heey,” Harry complained, sitting back down. “No need to be mean.”

“I got it,” Louis said, getting up and going with Niall to the counter. They asked for their drinks and Louis turned to Niall when the bartender went to pour their beers.

“Look, mate, I understand your protectiveness with Liam, and I’m not here to give you guys a hard time. How about we just hang out, make them boys happy and try to be civil with each other?” Louis said, with a lifted eyebrow.

“Why are you saying this to me?” Niall asked. He was surprised by Louis touching the subject so bluntly, but he appreciated the gesture anyway. He was just curious.

“Because I noticed you’re the one that they look up to in the matter of welcoming anyone into the group,” Louis said, sounding unconcerned.

“How did you notice that in five minutes?” Niall frowned.

“I may or may not have been stalking you, Andy and Maz on social media. You know, getting ready to meet you guys and everything,” Louis didn’t sound even a bit ashamed. “I noticed they roast who you roast, and you’re always the first one to roast, and they cheer up who you cheer up too. It’s just a matter of observation.”

“Harry and Liam don’t roast anyone,” Niall felt the need to say, not denying exactly.

“Oh, yeah, I noticed that about Harry. Liam, unfortunately, has private accounts, but I guessed he was the non roasting type of guy.” Louis nodded.

The bartender lined their pints up on the counter and they started to pick them up, each hand with two jugs and Niall picking three in one.

“You’re weird,” Niall said, turning to walk to the table, laughing. “I think I’ll like you.”

“It will happen sooner or later, mate. It’s the Tommo charm.” Louis winked, making him laugh more.

They went back to the table and chatted amiably for the good part of an hour. That was when a very tall man entered the pub. He went alone to the counter and asked for a pint. Even when sitting down, he towered over the other patrons that were sitting at the counter.

Liam squinted in the low light of the pub, looking at the new comer.

“I think I know him,” he said to Zayn. “I’ll be right back.” He approached the man and tapped his shoulder. “Excuse me, mate.” The man turned around and Liam smiled at him. “I knew it was you! Nice to see you here!”

“Oh, hey, mate!” the man smiled at him, looking a bit relieved to see a familiar face.

“Are you alone?” Liam asked.

“Yeah.” He shrugged.

“Come to our table. I’ll introduce you to my mates,” Liam said, gesturing to the table with his head.

“Sure, will be nice to have some company.”

Liam turned back to the table, the man following him.

“Hey, everyone, this is Niall. He’s working with me at the Fire Department,” Liam introduced. “These are Ant, Danny, Louis, Zayn you’ve already met, Andy, Maz and that one is a Niall from Ireland too.”

“Bressie?” Niall said, bemused, while the other boys greeted the new comer.

Bressie looked at him, raising his eyebrows. “Do we know each other?” he asked, when Niall called him by his familiar nickname.

“Of course, man! I’m Niall Horan, son of Bobby Horan. You don’t remember me?” he said, laughing and getting up to shake Bressie’s hand.

“No, shit! It’s good to see you, Niall!” Bressie said, smiling.

“You two know each other?” Liam asked, amused.

“We’re from the same town, mate. I've known Bressie since I was born,” Niall said, making space for Bressie at the table.

“That’s true, but the last time I saw you, you had brown hair,” Bressie teased.

“Hey, mate, don’t spread lies, okay?” Niall joked, eliciting a loud laugh from Bressie.

Even though the boys were way younger than Bressie, he fit right in, chatting animatedly with them all. Niall was surprised to see Bressie in England, and working with Liam at that. But it was a good surprise, though. He always liked Bressie. He was always funny, even when he was a little kid in Mullingar.

“It’s my time to pick up the next round,” Niall said, getting up when he finished his beer. Louis went with him in a wordless agreement.

Liam turned towards Bressie when Niall left. “So you met Niall when he was a kid?”

“That’s right,” Bressie confirmed, nodding. “He’s all grown up now, though.”

“Yeah, and I need you to tell me something embarrassing from his childhood,” Liam said in a stage whisper, making Zayn laugh by his side.

Bressie laughed as well. “Let me think if I remember something…”

Bressie didn’t have time to say anything, because Niall was back, almost dropping the pints on the table and sitting rigidly. His face was beet red and he seemed nervous all of a sudden. He hadn’t drunk enough for that, but Liam thought that maybe the beers were kicking faster. He looked tense, though, so Liam leaned in his direction.

“You okay, mate?” he asked.

“Yeah, just. I’m okay, yeah,” Niall said, swallowing. He picked up a beer with his left hand and drank almost half of it in one pull.

Liam frowned. “You sure you okay?”

“Sure, yeah.” He nodded with a forced smile.

Liam looked at Louis, who was drinking his beer with a mischievous smile. Liam leaned closer to Niall, whispering in his ear: “Did Louis do something to upset you?”

“What? No, mate. He’s alright,” Niall said. “I’ll tell you later. Chill.”

“Okay, cheers!” Liam turned back to the conversation going on at the table.

Harry started to tell a story and Liam’s other friends tuned him out. Bressie was listening politely, Ant and Danny were fighting the boredom, and Louis was hanging onto his every word. _Hm, interesting…_ Liam thought and looked at Zayn, who was looking at Louis and coming to the same conclusion. He looked at Liam and smirked, gesturing towards Louis with his eyebrows. Liam nodded, smirking back.

They were getting to the stage in which they could communicate without words. That made Liam so happy. He always admired the way his parents could do that and he wanted it for them, but wasn’t sure they would ever achieve this level of intimacy. Fortunately, they were getting there.

It was being a rough journey, but they were together, meeting in the middle, supporting each other. It wasn’t perfect, it won’t ever be perfect, but what they were building was solid. Liam was really happy.

He liked to look at his hands sometimes, analyzing the imprints and noticing how Zayn was determined in covering them all with endearing words. Liam joked that he was using a thesaurus to come up with a lot of different words. Zayn just smirked and recited a litany of new words. The latest additions were ‘Beloved’ and ‘Dearest’.

“Hey, you two!” Louis shouted from the other side of the table. “Stop that. There’s people at the table, okay? Give us some respect.” Liam laughed and Zayn flipped Louis off. “Get a room,” Louis added, unfazed.

“No way, you don’t know how noisy they are!” Niall said, cackling.

“What, my baby Zayn lost his virginity and didn’t tell me?” Louis put a hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

Zayn kicked Louis under the table, making him laugh obnoxiously. “Shut up!” he demanded.

In that moment, they were distracted by a goal at the game that was playing on the TV. The pub went deafening, the patrons cheering and shouting.

Liam put his arm around Zayn’s shoulder, a bit worried. “You’re not a virgin, are you?” he whispered, using all the noise as a cover. Zayn went quiet, looking at his own hands. “You are?” Liam was shocked. “I thought you were joking.” He whispered, frowning a bit.

Zayn shrugged and turned his face to whisper close to his ear: “And you? You’re not, yeah?” Liam licked his lips and shook his head slightly. “‘Kay.” Zayn mumbled, biting his lips. He shrugged again, trying to seem like he didn’t mind.

He tried not to care about it, but the truth was that he did. Liam didn’t have any obligation with him at the time, but he knew who Zayn was. It was silly and unfair, but he was feeling a bit betrayed. He crushed that feeling down, because he didn’t want to ruin the night.

Zayn wasn’t so good at looking like he didn’t care while he was upset, though. Liam noticed, but didn’t touch the subject anymore. Not at the pub. That wasn’t the best place to talk about that. And, if Zayn was mad at him, he couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t regret the loss of his virginity. He was vulnerable and found a person who appreciated him and was willing to take care of him. They didn’t date, but they hooked up sometimes, while he was training to enter the Fire Department.

“You alright, mate?” his train of thought was broken by Niall.

“Yeah, just a bit of a headache,” he answered and yeah, there was a headache starting to throb in his temple.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked.

“No, not yet. You’re having fun.”

“You can go and leave us, mate. We won’t start a fire,” Niall joked.

“And if you start a fire, Bressie is here to put it down,” Liam said, winking.

“Well, yeah,” Niall said, sounding a bit nervous, and Liam noticed him putting his right hand between his thighs. He blinked and stared at Niall’s hand openly. “Stop that,” Niall mumbled, looking around the table, but no one was paying attention to them.

Liam looked at his face and leaned back. He sent a suspicious glance at Niall and pulled his phone out, tapping a quick message: “whats in ur hand???”

Niall felt his phone vibrating with the message in his pocket. He knew it was Liam’s, but pretended he didn’t feel anything. Liam frowned and kicked Niall’s leg under the table. He sighed and picked his phone up.

Liam put his phone on his thigh and pretended nothing was happening, while Niall tapped his answer. When the phone vibrated, he looked at Niall, who was pocketing his quickly. Liam unlocked the screen and read the answer to his message, in caps lock: “GROWN UP !!!!”

Liam snapped his head in Niall's direction, his eyes wide open. “No shit,” he mouthed, and Niall nodded, making a face that ended in a small smile.

“Whatcha doin’, babe?” Zayn asked, looking at Liam’s phone.

“I have a bit of a headache, actually,” Liam diverted the answer. “Do you wanna come home with me, babe?”

Zayn frowned a bit, but nodded. “Sure, let’s go.”

They paid their beers, said their goodbyes and left the pub.

“Is your headache so strong that you decided to leave?” Zayn asked, thinking Liam decided to go because of the ‘not virgin’ situation.

Of course Zayn wasn’t happy about it, but he decided he wouldn’t question Liam about him not being a virgin. Not now at least, because he was upset and he didn’t want to fight.

“Oh, no. Not really. I just want to leave Niall alone with Bressie,” Liam said, stopping close to his car and picking his phone up.

“Why?” Zayn asked, bemused, but interested.

“I can’t tell you right now, babe, but you’ll know soon enough,” Liam answered and sent a message to the group chat of his friends:

“guys, leave ni alone with bressie they need to talk”

“oooooh, really? what about?” Harry sent.

“ill tell u guys later”, Niall replied.

Andy and maz answered with a thumbs up and an okay emoji respectively. Harry sent an eggplant emoji and the tongue one.

“fuck off”, Niall sent back.

Liam smiled and locked his phone. “Do you think you can make your friends leave them alone too?”

“Sure.” Zayn nodded and sent a message to his friends. They answered quickly, agreeing.

“Now, let’s go,” Liam said, nodding, and they went to his flat.

 

\--

 

A couple of weeks had passed, when Zayn approached the subject of meeting Liam’s parents. Liam hadn’t talk about him meeting them, because he wanted Zayn to feel comfortable first. The thing was, Zayn would _never_ feel comfortable looking at Liam’s parents’ faces after everything he did. But he knew it was necessary. They were his soulmate’s family, he would have to get along with them sooner or later. At least, Liam told him how his parents reacted when they knew it was Zayn. That way, Zayn could prepare himself for the - well deserved - onslaught.

Besides, it was better happening sooner than later, because Zayn knew that waiting on it would be worse. If he was one of Liam’s parents, he would think Zayn didn't have the balls to admit his mistakes and face the consequences. And okay, he was terrified to face Liam’s family, but he had to. For them both, and mostly, for Liam.

He wasn’t sure that Liam’s father would ever forgive him, but he knew that, with time and patience, he could show how much he cared about Liam, and would be accepted by Geoff. He didn’t hope to be loved by him, but he knew Geoff was a good man, and would see his repentance.

“Are you sure?” Was the only thing Liam asked when Zayn said it was time for him to meet his parents as his soulmate.

“I’m sure,” Zayn answered, because he was sure it was time. It didn’t keep Zayn from being scared, although, he was learning to face his fears. The couple therapy was helping a lot in that matter, actually.

So, that was how Zayn ended up in the front of Liam’s parents’ house, his heart in his throat, but with his mind set on facing everything they had to tell him with humility. They chose to meet in the middle of the afternoon, all of them knowing that the conversation would be too distressing to happen at a meal. The disadvantage was that Zayn wouldn’t have any distractions from the conversation, and he was apprehensive.

Liam was nervous too, because his father was still getting used to the idea of Zayn being his soulmate. He was proud, too. Zayn had taken the initiative to talk with his parents, which showed how much he was investing in proving he was repentant.

Liam knocked and Karen opened the door with a nervous, but kind, smile. She hugged Liam tightly, kissing his cheek. She turned towards Zayn and hugged him as well, surprising him. He hugged her back a bit awkwardly, but he felt more confident after that gesture.

“Hey, boys, how are you?” she said, taking a step back.

“I’m good, mum,” Liam said, smiling slightly and holding Zayn’s hand.

“I’m good, ma’am. And yourself?” Zayn asked, shyly.

“Call me Karen, darling,” she said, smiling. “And I’m fine, thanks. Come in. Geoff is waiting in the living room,” she said and went inside the house.

Liam closed the door and guided Zayn to the living room. Zayn never went beyond two or three steps inside the door of Liam’s parents’ home before. But, even though he wanted to take a look at the pictures on the walls, he didn’t linger.

When they entered the living room, they saw Geoff sat in an armchair. His face was closed off, but he got up and offered a firm handshake to Zayn. _Now I know where Liam got his politeness from._ He thought, sitting in a love seat with Liam. Karen came back with a tray with tea.

“Do you want a cuppa, Zayn?” she offered, and he accepted. His throat was suddenly dry.

“Thank you,” Zayn said, while Karen poured some tea in a cup for him.

“How do you like it?” she asked.

“Two sugars, please. Thanks,” he said, picking up the cup Karen handed to him. He was feeling Geoff’s eyes on him, and his skin was crawling.

He knew Geoff wasn’t a mean person, but he was a father, and his son had been hurt by Zayn. He understood the hard feelings completely.

Zayn took a sip of the tea silently, trying to remember what he had rehearsed to say, but everything went away the moment he looked at Geoff’s unwelcoming face. Liam was spooning sugar into his tea quietly, but his jaw was set in a determined way.

After Zayn, Liam and Karen had their teas in hands, Geoff cleared his throat.

“I imagine you’re here to explain yourself,” he said, bluntly, looking at Zayn. His voice was filled by protectiveness.

Zayn swallowed hard and put the cup he was holding on the coffee table. “Yeah. That, and to say that I’m sorry and I’m doing everything in my power to make it up to Liam. And to you as well, because he didn’t suffer alone,” Zayn said, proud that his voice didn’t waver, even though his hands were starting to tremble.

“Go ahead, then. Explain yourself,” Geoff said, his expression closed off, gesturing with his hand for Zayn to continue.

“Geoff,” Karen said, in a tone slightly reprimanding, touching his arm.

“He said he would explain himself, and I want an explanation,” Geoff said, pinning Zayn with his eyes.

“Liam already told us, love,” she tried again.

“Yes, he did, but I want to hear Zayn’s version,” he replied, unmoved.

Karen sighed tiredly, but backed down.

Zayn took a deep breath, and felt Liam’s hand covering his. That small gesture did wonders for Zayn’s courage and he entwined their fingers.

“First, I want you to know that I never disliked Liam,” Zayn said, firmly. They had to know that he never had bad feelings towards Liam. “I couldn’t ever dislike him. But I was a scared kid who wanted to fit in. Just ‘cause I wasn’t actually bullying him, I was stupid enough to think I wasn’t hurting anyone. I was doing wrong, and I knew it. Not only with Liam, but with other people who happened to be bullied and I did nothing to help. All of that just so I wouldn’t be bullied in their place.” He took a deep breath and looked at his hand holding Liam’s. He wasn’t hiding his imprints anymore. The good ones had overcame the bad ones, so much that they went unnoticed by people who didn’t know they were there. “All the bad things I said about Liam weren’t what I thought. I was lying to be accepted by my friends. But I know it doesn’t make it any better.”

“It doesn’t, indeed,” Geoff said.

“Dad, Zayn changed,” Liam said, softly.

“Took him too long,” Geoff replied, undeterred.

“I agree with you, sir,” Zayn said, surprising Geoff with his confession. “It took me way too long to stop. I spent so much time saying awful things that I didn’t mean, and I was hurting him in the process. Unfortunately, I only realized it was hurting me as well when I’ve gone too far,” Zayn said, looking at Liam’s hand. He sniffed and looked at Geoff. “I wish I could change that, but I can’t. I’m terribly sorry and ashamed for everything I did,” he said that and looked at Karen. “I’ve learnt a lot from it, and I promise I’ll make it up to Liam.”

“You’re already making up for it, babe,” Liam said, rubbing his fingers with a small smile.

Zayn smiled slightly at him and nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered, because, for him, it was a compliment.

Geoff ruffed a breath, rubbing his forehead. “I honestly don’t know what to make of you, young man,” he said.

“You don’t have to, sir,” Zayn said. “I’m the one that has a lot to do.”

“Yes, you do,” Geoff agreed.

“Geoff…” Karen hissed.

“It’s okay,” Zayn said to her and turned to Geoff. “I understand you not trusting me, sir. I wouldn’t if I was in your place. I’m not asking for you to accept me with open arms. I’m here to let you know, face to face, that I’m owning up to my mistakes. I regret every single one of them, and I’ll do my best to deserve your trust from now on.”

Zayn heard Karen sniffing and he looked at her. She was smiling, but her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

“You’ve started all of this ruining your benefit of the doubt, young man,” Geoff said, but he sounded a bit more appeased. “But you’re Liam’s soulmate, I can’t simply kick you out of here because of the things you did. It will take some time for me to…” He gestured vaguely, and Zayn understood what he was trying to say. “Your father called us when you two started dating,” he said, and Zayn fowned. He didn’t know that. “He apologized for your behavior.”

Zayn bowed his head, ashamed. _Dad didn’t have to do that._

“He’s not speaking to me,” he whispered, and heard Karen gasp. “Since I told them about what I did to Liam, he doesn’t speak to me. I understand him.”

“Me too,” Liam’s dad said.

“That's enough, Geoff,” Karen said. “You’re being unfair.”

“Me? I’m being unfair? What he did to Liam was unfair,” Geoff said, pointing at Zayn, who flinched at the rash words.

“He didn’t mean to hurt him, he was young and stupid,” Karen said.

“And unfair!” Geoff pressed.

Liam got up abruptly. “We’re leaving,” he said, pulling Zayn to stand up and dragging him to the exit.

Geoff didn’t say anything, he crossed his arms over his chest, looking angry. Karen didn’t try to stop them either, she just looked sad.

Before leaving, Zayn held Liam and turned back, saying: “You’re right, sir. I was unfair. I’m so sorry.”

Liam tugged him away and they left the house. They entered Liam’s car and Liam slammed his door roughly. Zayn turned to him and touched his shoulder.

“Don’t be mad at him, babe,” he said, squeezing his shoulder softly. “He is hurt, just like you.”

“I’m not hurting anymore,” Liam said, looking at Zayn’s eyes. “I won’t lie and say that I’m okay with everything that happened, but I’m not hurting anymore.”

“Yeah?” Zayn eyes were shining, a huge smile on his face.

“Yeah, babe. And you did that too,” Liam said, pulling him into a hug.

Zayn tucked his head into Liam’s neck and hugged tight. “Thank you,” he whispered and kissed his neck.

Liam leaned back a bit and held Zayn’s chin, kissing his lips softly. “Let’s get out of here.”

Zayn nodded and they left. He put some music on and they went quiet. He looked out the window, his mind whirling. To be quite honest, he thought the visit would be worse. But then, Liam got upset and they left abruptly. That wasn’t in Zayn’s plans. Even though he would love if Geoff accepted him right away, he didn’t expect that, really.

Still, Zayn was sad. It was impossible to not be sad. He felt a new jolt of shame remembering that his dad called Liam’s parents. He was so disappointed he felt the urge to express it to them. At least Zayn could see that Karen was supportive.

Liam glanced at Zayn’s direction from time to time, noticing how crestfallen he was. When they arrived, Liam took Zayn to his bedroom and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“You okay, babe?” he asked, softly.

“I’m okay,” Zayn said, his face pressed on Liam’s neck. “It’s just… I was expecting that reaction, you know. But.”

“But it sucks anyway, I know.” Liam leaned back and touched his chin, raising his face. “You did great, though.”

“You mean, I didn’t make an ass of myself crying on your mom’s couch?” Zayn said, joking a bit to clear the air, but without much success.

“No. I mean you did great admitting your mistakes to two strangers, who happen to be your in laws,” Liam corrected him. “It’s scary, baby, and you stayed collected the whole time.”

Zayn smiled and kissed his lips softly. “Your hand on mine helped me.”

“You’re being cheesy, babe,” Liam teased, biting Zayn’s lower lip, making him hiss.

“And you love it,” Zayn mumbled with his lip caught between Liam’s teeth.

“I love you, yeah,” Liam said, letting go of his lip.

Zayn smirked, and cupped Liam’s head, pulling him in a deep kiss. He licked inside Liam’s mouth, moaning softly when his tongue was sucked on by that soft, wet heat. Liam broke the kiss and bit Zayn’s chin, his hands sliding down Zayn’s body to take his t-shirt off. Zayn pulled Liam’s t-shirt off too, dropping it on the floor and clawing at his chest. _Christ._ He loved Liam’s body so much.

Zayn pulled Liam by his back, pressing their chests together. He latched onto the birthmark on Liam’s neck, sucking over the lovebite that was already there, making it pulse and turn into a dark purple. He slid his tongue to Liam’s shoulder, sucking and biting at it. He wasn’t thinking anymore about what had happened at Liam’s parents’. Now that he was in Liam’s arms, only he existed in the world, and Zayn was lost in a haze of desire. Every sound he pulled from Liam was another wave of heat bathing his body.

Liam fisted Zayn’s hair and pulled his head back, biting his throat and squeezing his bum. Zayn moaned, letting Liam do as he pleased, ravishing his neck and sliding to his collarbones and chest. He wrapped his lips over Zayn’s nipple, sucking and pulling with his teeth, making him moan and his cock throb inside his pants.

Zayn pulled Liam’s hair, bringing his head up to kiss him again, their mouths open and their tongues circling one another obscenely. Liam broke the kiss and unfastened Zayn’s pants, pulling them down with his underwear. He pushed him onto the bed and knelt on the floor to help him take his shoes and pants off completely. Once Zayn was completely naked, Liam got up to take off his own pants, Zayn bending down to help him with his shoes as well.

As soon as Liam’s pants slid off his body, Zayn hugged him by his hips and sucked a lovebite onto his abs, close to his navel, just by the side of Liam’s hard dick.

“Shit, babe,” Liam moaned when Zayn’s teeth pressed onto his skin, his cock touching Zayn’s face, twitching with the feeling of his beard on it.

Zayn released Liam’s skin, leaving a dark bruise on it, and just turned his head to the side to suck the head of his cock hungrily. He held the base of Liam’s cock with a hand and clutched his thigh with the other, slurping around the hardened flesh. Zayn loved the feeling of Liam’s dick in his mouth. The taste, the girth making his jaw ache, the feeling of the head hitting the back of his throat, everything.

“Fuck!” Liam cursed when the head of his cock was squeezed by Zayn’s throat, the precome being swallowed as soon as it dribbled from it. “Wait, babe, stop…” he mumbled, touching Zayn’s hair and pulling softly to grab his attention.

Zayn swallowed around the head of Liam’s cock once more before pulling off with a pop. He didn’t look up, though, he kept his eyes on it, tugging quickly. “Wanna make you come,” he mumbled close to the head. Liam moaned, his cock blurting a fat drop of precome. Zayn groaned and licked at it, sucking Liam’s cock back to his mouth.

Liam held Zayn’s chin and stepped back. Zayn whined, looking at Liam with furrowed brows. Liam licked his lips before saying in a deep voice: “Today, I wanna come inside you, babe.” He had thought about it a lot, and decided that it was time.

Zayn gasped, his eyes widening. “Really?” he asked, too surprised to be cocky.

“Really.” Liam nodded and pushed him gently to lay down on the bed. “Do you want it?”

“Shit! Do I want it? Of course I want it! Fuck, Li,” Zayn breathed the last part. His heart, that was already beating fast, went crazy in his chest. “God,” he whispered when Liam opened a drawer in the bedside table and picked up a bottle of lube.

Liam put the lube close to them on the bed and parted Zayn’s legs. He slid his hands from his knees to his thighs and hips, going up to his sides and covering Zayn’s body with his. They sighed when their cocks pressed together, a soft moan leaving Zayn’s lips when he wrapped his legs around Liam’s hips.

All the desperation from a moment ago turned into a simmer deep inside Zayn’s belly, making his body tremble in anticipation. He cupped Liam’s head with both hands, meeting him in the middle to a deep, slow and passionate kiss. He moaned softly inside the kiss, his lips parted and pliant under Liam’s.

Liam parted the kiss to lick at his collarbones, his hands snaking under Zayn’s body to hold him tight. He kissed and bit Zayn’s chest, sucking on his nipples slow and insistent, leaving twin bruises on both of them. He rubbed his tongue over the hardened nubs and tugged softly, making Zayn’s back arch, his pretty lips breathing Liam’s name like a prayer.

He went to Zayn’s navel, licking firmly and slowly, pushing his tongue inside it, feeling Zayn’s cock twitch close to his face. He ignored it and went to his thighs, spreading them more to bite at their insides, making Zayn jump slightly. He rubbed his beard on the soft skin, hard and slow, eliciting a groan from Zayn. He fisted Liam’s hair with both hands, rolling his hips desperately.

Liam was taking his time, doing everything slowly, but with such intensity, holding Zayn firmly and caressing him hard the way he loved, but so slow and loving. He was overwhelmed already, and Liam hadn’t even touched his dick yet.

Liam held one of Zayn’s legs by the ankle and lifted it, bending the knee towards his chest. He licked the back of his thigh from the knee down, biting where it curved into his bum, making Zayn jump with a groan again. Liam used one hand to part Zayn’s cheeks and licked a long and slow stripe from his rim to his cock, kissing the head wetly.

“Oh, fuck!” Zayn’s cock jumped, his hole quivering and clenching with the attention.

Liam slid his tongue back down Zayn’s cock, stopping at his balls to suck at them hotly and going down to his hole, licking at it with the tip of his tongue, pressing slightly and sucking on his rim. Zayn’s hands, fisted in Liam’s hair, trembled. He didn’t pull, though. On the contrary, he pushed, wanting Liam exactly where he was.

Liam let go of Zayn’s ankle, and he held his leg up in place for Liam. He used both hands to spread Zayn’s cheeks some more, covering his hole with his mouth, pushing his tongue to breach the ring of quivering muscle.

“Oh, god!” Zayn almost shouted when Liam’s tongue pressed inside him. “Shit, shit, shit!” His body convulsed in pleasure and Liam leaned back.

“Do you think you can come just from this?” Liam asked, rubbing Zayn’s rim with his fingers.

“Yes!” Came the quick answer. “Please, Liam!”

“Please what, babe?” Liam teased, biting at Zayn’s bum.

“Please, make me come with your tongue. God!” Zayn was desperate.

“But I want you to come on my cock,” Liam said, with a small pout, teasing Zayn some more with a finger fluttering over his hole.

Zayn’s mouth parted in doubt, a gasped breath leaving his lips. But Liam didn’t give him time to decide. He went back to Zayn’s hole and pushed his tongue inside him. Zayn huffed a moaning breath, his hole clenching around Liam’s tongue. Liam pressed more, fucking Zayn with it. He felt Zayn’s hole quiver around his tongue, his body tensing and he fucked him faster with it. His hand slid up to Zayn’s cock to help him come, but it wasn’t necessary. When his fingers touched the head, it was already spurting, Zayn’s hole spasming while he moaned, dropping his leg onto the bed, lost in the waves of pleasure.

Liam kept his tongue fucking Zayn softly while he came, his hand squeezing his dick, milking his orgasm until Zayn went lax.

Liam raised his head and looked at Zayn, flushed and boneless, completely fucked out. He slid his fingers over Zayn’s come and tasted it, sucking on his fingers slowly, looking at his eyes. He took his fingers out of his mouth and collected more come, pushing them inside Zayn’s mouth, who sucked on them with a languid look.

“You look filthy, babe,” Liam said, smirking.

“So do you,” Zayn replied, still catching his breath.

Liam winked at him and bent down to kiss his mouth. Zayn wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down, loving Liam’s weight over him. Liam slid his hands under Zayn and kissed him deeply, pressing their bodies together. His hard cock was pulsing slightly between their bellies, but he wasn’t in a rush.

When they broke the kiss, Zayn said in a teasing tone: “You’re spreading come all over me. Why don’t you clean me up?”

Liam bit Zayn’s lower lip and leaned his mouth close to his ear. “Why would I clean you up if I’ll just make you come again?” he whispered, his voice deep, the way he knew made Zayn’s legs go weak.

And he wasn’t mistaken. Zayn’s cock twitched, starting to fill when he heard that deep drawl so close to his ear. Liam’s breath hitting his sensitive skin spread a shiver through his body.

“Would you like that, babe?” Liam whispered again, licking the shell of Zayn’s ear slowly.

“Fuck yeah,” Zayn answered, clutching at Liam’s back.

Liam slid a hand down Zayn’s back and squeezed his bum. “How do you want that, love? On your hands and knees? Or like this, with my weight pressing you down, fucking you into the mattress?” Zayn moaned, his nails scratching at Liam’s back and bum, nodding frantically.

“Like this, yeah? With my arms under you, holding you tight while I fuck you raw?” He squeezed Zayn’s bum hard, the image he pictured in his mind making his cock throb.

“Ah, yeah. Oh fuck, yes. Now, please. Liam!” Zayn rolled his hips up, his cock fully hard again.

“You beg so prettily, babe,” Liam teased, biting Zayn’s lobe and leaning back to pick up the lube.

He put some lube on his fingers and knelt between Zayn’s legs, spreading them more. He pressed his index in confidently, eliciting a relieved moan from Zayn’s mouth. They were used to doing that. His body welcomed Liam’s fingers, always hungry for his touch, eager to be spread out and fucked by them.

Liam was always mesmerized by the way Zayn’s body relaxed under his fingers, opening up to him in no time.

“Now, Liam,” Zayn demanded, when he had three fingers inside him.

Liam wanted to tease him some more, but his self control was running thin. He only wanted to bury himself inside of Zayn’s heat. He took his fingers out and poured more lube onto his hand to spread on his cock.

He leaned down, holding up his weight on his forearm, his other hand guiding his cock. He rubbed his cock on Zayn’s hole and bent his head down to kiss him softly. Zayn fisted Liam’s hair with both hands, and gasped into the kiss when Liam pushed inside him. He hissed and bit Liam’s lip, all the hair of his body standing on end with the feeling of being stretched around Liam’s cock in a slow and firm push.

They both grunted when Liam bottomed out, Zayn’s cock spasming between their bellies. His eyes were closed, his lips parted, being kissed by Liam but not corresponding, so overwhelmed he was. Liam’s blood was pumping hot in his ears, his cock pulsing, squeezed by the tight clutch of Zayn’s hole.

“Is it hurting, love?” Liam asked, sounding worried and not moving, buried inside Zayn.

Did it hurt? It did, a bit, yeah. But it was so delicious that Zayn couldn’t answer. He squeezed Liam’s cock tentatively, and the sensation threw him off. “Oh, god,” he whimpered.

“Babe?” Liam leaned back a little, trying to get off of him.

Zayn latched onto Liam’s back and pulled him down over himself, desperate. “It’s so good, _Jaan_ ,” he breathed.

Liam gasped when he heard the endearment. Even though he had it as an imprint, Zayn never said it again. He felt his hand warm, the warmth spreading through his body like a wave.

He undulated his hips and Zayn whimpered again, the sound going straight to his dick. _Oh fuck!_ He gasped and slid his hands under Zayn, holding him by his shoulders, rolling his hips and speeding up the motion in slow increments. Zayn had his eyes closed, his neck arched, his mouth agape, moaning with abandon every time Liam’s cock slammed inside of him. His hands were clutching Liam’s back, holding for dear life, trembling from the pleasure.

Liam was burning, overloaded with sensation and love for this boy in his arms. He never felt so much pleasure in his life, never felt so complete, it was addictive. His mouth couldn’t part from Zayn’s skin. He was licking and kissing his neck and shoulders, fucking him hard and fast, long forgotten was the slow pace he was trying to maintain.

Liam could feel his orgasm approaching fast and he couldn’t do anything to delay it. In no way would he stop fucking Zayn to get a hold on his orgasm. He felt it building in his feet, the pleasure tingling at the tip of his toes and spreading through his body in shocks of delight. He moaned, his thrusts quaking in the middle of his orgasm, but he didn’t stop. He held Zayn’s shoulders more firmly to keep him in place, and thrusted hard, ignoring the hypersensitivity on his cock.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Zayn moaned, on the verge of orgasm, his nails biting Liam’s skin where his fingers clawed at his back.

Zayn was so incredibly beautiful like this, so hot and pliant in Liam’s arms. His pretty eyes were closed, his long eyelashes fluttering and his lips parted, moaning in pleasure. Liam was hypnotized.

“ _Meri jaan_ ,” Liam whispered, more to himself than anything, thrusting hard inside Zayn once more.

Zayn catched the whisper and opened his eyes, a surprised gasp leaving his lips before his eyes rolled back, his body spasming in his orgasm.

“Yes, _jaan_ , come for me, yeah,” Liam said, fucking him through his orgasm.

When the spasms of Zayn’s body stopped, Liam laid down over him, still inside him. They stayed like that, breathing in their scents mixed together until their bodies relaxed.

“I don’t wanna get out of you ever again,” Liam said, chuckling against Zayn’s neck.

“Please, stay,” Zayn said, giggling, but their movements ended up pushing Liam’s cock out of him, making them grunt. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“And you’ll love every second of it,” Liam gave the same answer as always.

“I will,” Zayn could only agree.

They stayed there, until the drying come started to get uncomfortable. Liam had got up to pick his t-shirt to clean them, when he noticed the back of his hands.

“They’re gone,” he mumbled, shocked.

“What?” Zayn asked from the bed.

“The imprints. They’re gone,” Liam said, showing his hands.

Zayn sat on the bed quickly, flinching a bit when his bum pressed on the mattress. They checked their hands, smiling.

“The damage in our bond is healed,” Zayn said, his eyes shining, a happy smile on his face.

“Yeah,” Liam whispered, looking at his hands, now clean.

“I’m so happy,” Zayn said. “And relieved,” he admitted.

“If I knew I just needed to fuck you to heal it, I would’ve fucked you a long time ago,” Liam said and Zayn threw a pillow at him, laughing.

Liam jumped on him to start a tickle fight that both of them lose.

When they cleaned themselves up and laid down again, Zayn sighed contentedly.

“I’m not mad at him,” he said, and Liam understood right way who he was talking about.

“I got a bit angry, but I’m not anymore,” Liam admitted.

“Good. Your dad doesn’t deserve you being angry with him. You’d do the same if our kids went through something like that. I know I would.”

“Our kids?” Liam asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I mean. I want to have kids. Do you want any kids?” Zayn asked, doubtful. They hadn’t talked about kids yet.

“I want kids, too,” Liam smiled. “Not for now, though.”

“Sure. We have to finish college, I have to get a job, and then we need to get married…” Zayn made a list, smirking.

“I like this plan,” Liam said, smiling and caressing Zayn’s face.

 

\--

 

The next day, Liam and Zayn were making breakfast, when Zayn said: “I think we should go see my parents today.”

Liam stopped stirring the eggs and looked at Zayn. “What?”

“I think we should go see my parents today,” Zayn repeated.

“But― Why today?” Liam asked. “Yesterday was tense enough, babe.”

“Was it?” Zayn came close to Liam and kissed his shoulder. “I can’t remember. I only remember bliss.”

“You silly,” Liam said, slapping Zayn’s bum when he turned back to the cupboard where he was picking plates for them.

“It’s so different…” Zayn mumbled.

“What is different, babe?” Liam asked.

“You calling me something and my hand not warming,” he answered, smiling.

“I’ll miss feeling when you say something about me, though,” Liam said.

“Me too, but I’m okay with it.” Zayn hugged him from behind, kissing between his shoulder blades.

“Yeah.” Liam smiled, turning off the stove.

“So, babe? What do you say?” Zayn asked.

Liam frowned a bit before answering. “I feel uncomfortable going there with your father still not talking to you,” he said. “It will be weird, like. Will he only talk to me and ignore you?”

“I don’t know.” Zayn sighed, but Liam had a point.

He left that subject for now, because it would be very awkward if his dad didn’t talk to him when Liam went there.

They ate breakfast and Zayn went home. Liam had a shift at the Fire Department and Zayn didn’t want to be alone in his flat. He was disappointed, but he understood Liam’s side. He would feel very uncomfortable if he had to go to Liam’s house and his dad wasn’t talking to him.

He was sitting on his bed, his laptop on his lap doing some homework, when his mom knocked on his door.

“Lunch is ready, baby,” she said.

“I’ll pick something up later, mom,” he said, raising his eyes to look at her. He was hungry, but didn’t want to face his dad at the table.

“You’re not hungry?” Trust his mom to make the questions he didn’t want to answer.

“Not much, no,” he lied.

“Just a bit, then?” she asked, knowingly.

“Yeah, just a bit,” Zayn said, huffing out a laugh.

“Come eat with us, my love.” Zayn sighed. “If you keep yourself out of your dad’s way you won’t have a chance to make him see what you’re doing, love. If he doesn’t know, he can’t forgive you.”

“You could tell him?” Zayn said, smiling.

“I could. But it’s better if he sees with his own eyes,” she said, softly.

“Okay,” he mumbled, and closed his laptop.

“And when would you tell me about this new development?” Trisha asked, entering his bedroom and touching his hands, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, well,” he smiled, shyly. “It was yesterday.”

“I’m so happy for you, baby!” She leaned down to hug him.

“Me too. I’m so relieved, mum. You can’t imagine,” he said, inside the hug.

“Your dad has to see this,” she said, leaning back.

Zayn smiled a bit insecure, but nodded.

They went to the kitchen and Zayn’s sisters were already there, filling their plates. He sat at Safaa’s side and started to serve himself. That’s when Yaser entered the kitchen, sitting at the head of the table. Zayn kept his head bowed, eating his food silently, while his sisters and his mom chatted around him.

“Zain, pass the chutney, please,” his mom said, and Zayn leaned forward to pick it up and give to her. “Thank you, love.”

Zayn smiled slightly and went back to his food, feeling his dad’s eyes on his hands. He got a bit nervous, but raised his head to look at him.

“When did this happen?” Yaser asked, pointing at Zayn’s hands.

“What happened?” Safaa asked and looked at Zayn’s hands. “Oh, they’re gone!”

“You’re by his side and didn’t notice?” Waliyha teased her.

“Yesterday,” Zayn said, softly.

Yaser nodded and went back to his food.

Safaa held Zayn’s hand, impressed by the fact that the imprints were gone.

After that, Yaser started to talk to Zayn again. It didn’t go back to normal immediately, but he wasn’t ignoring him anymore. That’s why Zayn convinced Liam to go to his home the next weekend.

Zayn opened the door with a big smile, pulling Liam into a hug. “Don’t worry, babe,” he mumbled close to his ear.

“Just don’t show any fear, yeah?” Liam joked, making Zayn snort. “I brought flowers for your mom.” He showed the bouquet in his hands.

“Oh, and nothing for me?” Zayn feigned offence.

“You have me,” Liam said, wriggling his brows.

“You’re smart.” Zayn nodded and pulled him inside.

“Oh, hello,” Trisha said when Zayn appeared with him.

“Hi, ma’am,” Liam said, smiling shyly and offering the bouquet.

“Call me Trisha, love. I’ve already said that,” she said, picking the flowers. “Thank you. They’re pretty.” She kissed his cheek. “Let me put these in a vase.”

“Liam,” Yaser came close to him, offering his hand with a warm smile. Liam shook his hand in a firm handshake. “How are you?”

“I’m good, sir, thanks. And you?”

“Call me Yaser. And I’m fine. Sit.” Yaser sat down, and Zayn pulled Liam to sit on a couch with him. “How’s work?”

“It’s good, yeah.”

“And college?”

“Not so good, but it’s going.” Liam laughed a bit, self deprecating.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Trisha said, bringing a vase with the flowers Liam brought and putting it on the coffee table.

“Yeah, it’s just a bit boring, compared to work,” Liam said, smiling.

“Zain said you’re studying Fire & Rescue,” Yaser said.

“Yeah. It’s for my work. Like, I don’t wanna change my job, just be better at it,” Liam explained.

“And get a better pay,” Zayn added, teasingly.

“That too.” Liam nodded, smiling.

“Nothing wrong about that, son,” Yaser said, and Zayn smiled brightly with his dad calling Liam ‘son’.

Zayn sisters came to greet Liam, and Trisha ushered them all to the table. The lunch was simply delicious, and they all chatted amicably. After, Liam offered to help with the cleaning, but Trisha shooed them to the living room, leaving the cleaning with Doniya and Waliyha. Safaa laid down on the floor of the living room, watching cartoons.

Liam was having a really good time with Zayn’s family. They welcomed him with open arms and, even though he was nervous before, they made him feel comfortable in no time. Yaser, who he imagined as this serious, tough man, showed himself to be a very funny person, cracking jokes and being nice all around.

When Liam went home, Zayn went back to the living room.

“Thank you for today,” he said to his parents, smiling. “Liam was nervous, but you were great.”

“He’s welcome in our home, Zain,” his dad said. “He’s your soulmate and a good man.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. We liked him before. He had no reason to be nervous,” Trisha said, kindly.

“Yeah, I told him that, but he was uncomfortable to come before,” he said, averting his mom’s eyes.

“Why?” Yaser asked, bemused.

“He said he would feel weird being here with you not talking to me,” he answered the truth. “He didn’t judge you, though,” he added quickly. “It would just be uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, it would,” Trisha said, looking at Yaser.

“I didn’t feel comfortable talking to you before I had proof that you were fixing what you did wrong,” Yaser said, looking at Zayn.

Zayn nodded, understanding. He still felt bad about that, but he hadn’t the right to judge his father.

“You saw that I had fixed it when my imprints disappeared?” Zayn asked.

“Not really,” he answered. “It was when Geoff called to tell me you went to his home to say you were sorry and owned up to your mistakes.”

“You two kept talking behind my back?” Zayn asked, amused, but feign annoyance.

“If you like to see it that way.” Yaser shrugged, unconcerned.

“I talk with Karen too,” Trisha said, giggling. “Not only about you and Liam, of course.”

Zayn shook his head, exasperated, but not really angry.

“Thanks for today, anyway,” he said again.

“You’re both welcome,” his dad said and, to Zayn, it meant the world.

 

**One Year Later**

 

Karen, Trisha and Zayn’s aunties were walking back and forth from the kitchen to the backyard, bringing food and drinks to the table. There was a Batman symbol cake in the middle of the table, and their families and friends were sat all around.

“Liam! Liam!” Arshiya, one of Zayn’s small cousins, came running from the back door, slamming into Liam’s legs and clinging onto him.

“Hey, princess! Come here.” He picked her up. “How are you? Having fun?”

“Yeah, Waliyha was putting make up on me,” she said, blinking repeatedly to show off her make up.

“Oh, you’re beautiful, darling!” he said, smiling at her.

She smiled back brightly and hugged him. “I love you!” she said, happily.

“I love you too, babe,” he said right away.

It was when he noticed Sasha, one of Zayn’s cousins, snapping a picture of them, that he thought about the irony of that moment. He looked at his arm, where the soundwave tattoo was, and smiled. Everything had changed so much, but he couldn’t see himself anywhere else in his life.

He searched for Zayn around the backyard, finding him chatting with Louis, Harry, Niall and Bressie. He looked up and their eyes meet. Liam smiled and put the girl on the ground. She ran away to play with her cousins and Liam went close to Zayn.

“Hey, babe. You okay?” Zayn asked, his hands going to Liam’s waist to hold him close.

“I’m okay, yeah. I just want to talk to you in private,” Liam said.

“You mean, pull him into a cupboard and snog him?” Louis said and Liam just laughed.

“Sure, babe,” Zayn frowned a bit, ignoring Louis.

They went to Zayn’s old bedroom. There was still some boxes on the floor that they would take to their flat after the party ended. They sat on the bed and Liam took a deep breath.

“I wanna show you something,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. Zayn frowned a bit, looking at Liam’s phone, not understand what was happening. “See, some years ago, Doniya sent a video to Ruth. It was from Eid. On it, you told Arshiya that she was beautiful. She said she loved you, and you said you loved her too.” Zayn nodded. He didn’t remember that, but he was sure it could have happened easily. “I was in a dark headspace at the time. I picked up the video and edited it, leaving only your voice talking to her. So. It’s a bit creepy, but.” He unlocked his phone and opened the skin motion app. He put it over the tattoo and Zayn heard his voice saying ‘you’re beautiful’ and ‘I love you too’ through the speakers of the phone. He gasped, surprised, and looked at Liam’s face. “It’s creepy, I know―”

“It’s not creepy,” Zayn interfered.

“It _is_ creepy, though. But I was coping the best way I could, I― I just wanted to have you saying something good on my skin for a change. I’m not ashamed.”

“I’m so―” Zayn started to say, but Liam stopped him by touching his lips with a finger.

“I know you’re sorry, babe. I’m showing this now, but what I wanted to show you is this,” he said, tapping at his phone and going to the settings of the skin motion app. “Here.” He showed the screen to Zayn and tapped the uninstall button. When the message ‘Are you sure you want to remove Skin Motion App?’ appeared, he tapped the ‘Yes’. A few seconds later, the app was deleted from his phone. “I used to listen to it everyday, but now… Now, I don’t need it anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More about soundwave tattoos here: http://cathedralcarver.tumblr.com/post/162742234978/  
> Oh, I uploaded a moodboard in the first chapter, if you guys want to take a look. ;)  
> Come chat with me at http://doveziam.tumblr.com  
> xx


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